Entries from July 2007 ↓
July 30th, 2007 — Happiness
Tim Ferriss suggests that we begin thinking with more precision and that a good start would be to avoid using these 10 words:
1. Happiness
2. Success
3. Should
4. Responsible
5. Realistic
6. Reasonable
7. Spiritual
8. Good/Right
9. Bad/Wrong
10. Moral
He says these words are so overused that they’re meaningless. I disagree, of course, especially about the term happiness. It doesn’t matter if other people’s version of happiness is different from mine. I don’t expect us to be having the same image and feelings when we use the term. Yes, the term is vague, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a powerful concept behind it. A concept well worth exploring and discussing. And that, of course, is the purpose of this blog.
Flickr photo by Malingering. Creative Commons license.
July 23rd, 2007 — Living Fully
I’ve spent a lot of time on Harry Potter lately:
Why all the interest in Harry? I didn’t read any of the books until I started helping at Hogwarts LA three years ago. Then I started reading them for background material. But J. K. Rowling has spent so much time creating her world, going deeper than just telling a good yarn, that I became interested in what she was trying to say. And since the main theme of the book is death, I was curious to see how she would end the series. The books clearly get darker as time goes on, but she has always ended each one on a cheerful, optimistic note. I won’t say much about the ending of Deathly Hallows, since a lot of people are still reading it, but I will say the epilogue does return to a cheerful, life-affirming tone.
It seems to me her main message to her readers is that yes, bad things happen in life, people you care about die, and evil does exist. But don’t let the trauma destroy you. Be brave, do your duty, be thoughtful and caring to others, and value your friends. And don’t be paralyzed by fear or focus entirely on mourning. When you get a chance, don’t be afraid to enjoy being alive and to share that joy with others. Not a bad lesson for children of all ages in these perilous times.
July 16th, 2007 — Happiness
In Notes on How to Live in the World and Still Be Happy, Hugh Prather writes about why he thinks it’s important to be happy. “We are either throwing our emotional weight into the balance of fear and anger or we are adding to the world’s measure of hope and kindness.” He believes that being happy is part of this process. “I believe it is good and right to be happy, and I know from experience that is the only way I personally can be kind.”
I couldn’t agree more…I learned this lesson as a teen-ager. My best friend in 7th and part of 8th grade turned on me one morning and refused to have anything to do with me. She wouldn’t tell me or anyone else why, and her decision seemed to be final. I was hurt and assumed it was because there was something wrong with me. I was extremely shy and self-conscious at the time and didn’t particularly like myself either. I figured she was just verifying what I already knew.
The standard advice in a situation like that was, “Oh, she’s just jealous. Forget about her. She’s not worth bothering with.” But that didn’t work for me. I didn’t want to play games…I still liked her very much and wasn’t going to deny it. So I decided if I had to go through the hurt I would learn and grow from it. I wouldn’t force myself on her, but I wouldn’t avoid her, either. So whenever we did cross paths I was always friendly and kind. This went on for two years, when she thawed out and we became best friends again.
After a year or so she told me why she had done it. It was because her mother had died in 6th grade and she had nothing in common with her father. He was a hard-working immigrant from Italy, but he was in his 50’s when she was born and didn’t know much about raising a child. It turned out she had been jealous of me after all… I had a mother and father who loved me. She also said she hated me even more when I had been nice to her.
That’s probably the greatest lesson I’ve ever learned–when people deliberately hurt other people it’s usually because they themselves are hurting. Maybe you can’t do anything about it, but you don’t have to take it personally. And you can do your utmost to get your own life in order so you don’t pass your pain on to others. Yes, I agree with Prather. If you value kindness, which I do, the first step is to learn to be happy.
July 9th, 2007 — Living Fully
I tend to wilt in hot weather, so I’m doing a couple of things to keep my spirits up. The first is to make sure I laugh out loud at least once a day. The second was subscribing to The Daily Puppy, which e-mails me a different picture of a puppy everyday. It’s free and a real mood lifter for those of us who love dogs. Happiness is too important to leave to chance.
Picture of Lucy the Husky Mix by Michael, 07/07/07.
July 2nd, 2007 — Living Fully
The picture on the left was taken by Aaron Honey at our local animal shelter. He takes pictures for the local Friends of the Shelter website. And he sends me copies to include in the weekly musical slide show I make for the local public access TV station. It’s a nice way for both of us to volunteer, using our interests and talents.
Doing the weekly videos means that even when I don’t have a chance to go over to interact with the animals, I get to see the heart-warming pictures. I chose this photo of Maya because she was the one that looks the most like Marley in John Grogan’s Marley & Me, a book I’ve just read for the second time. If you love dogs and haven’t read the book yet, I highly recommend it. The cover of the book calls it “life and love with the world’s worst dog.” No, Marley was not a bad dog. He was a definite nuisance, but he was incredibly loyal and loving, and Grogan’s loyalty to him in return is one of the most touching things I have ever read.
Keep your Kleenex handy towards the end, but it’s worth a few tears for such a loving and life-affirming read.
