Entries from October 2007 ↓

The following was posted last Wednesday as part of Bob’s Desiderata project. I encourage you to check out the whole series.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
—Max Ehrmann

  If you’re working too hard, you’re doing it wrong! Swimming is a lazy sport.
  —A great teacher of swimming…and of life

I can’t remember her name, but I will never forget her. It was my second quarter of swimming at college. At that time we all had to take two quarters of Physical Education, and the first quarter almost turned me against swimming for life. The teacher was looking for perfection and was critical of everything we did. But I had always loved being in the water, thrashing around and calling it swimming. I could be turning blue with cold when I was a kid and would steadfastly deny it. I didn’t get much chance to swim and I was going to make the most of it.

So I signed up for another quarter and hoped for the best. And I got it. This teacher’s aim was to teach us to trust the water. She taught us to float…not in the usual way, lying on our backs…but by walking across the deep end of the pool, our heads safely out of the water. She showed us that if we made gentle arm and leg motions, we could easily reach the other side of the pool. The water, indeed, did hold us up. I can’t remember what we did the rest of the quarter…I do know it was fun and there was no worry about doing the crawl correctly. We could swim anyway that worked for us. The main thing was to enjoy the process. Since then I’ve swum thousands of miles, using my own unique stroke…with my head out of the water and my glasses on.

I’ve been thinking of that a lot the past few weeks. Some self-development blogs have been discussing what a struggle it is to change ourselves. My instinctive reaction is, “If you’re working too hard, you’re doing it wrong!” The first rule of behavior modification is to love and accept yourself the way you are. That doesn’t mean there aren’t things you’d like to change, but if you’re fighting yourself it’s just like swimming. Fighting the water is counterproductive. You’re wasting your energy. Stop thrashing around. Be gentle.

I believe that’s what Max Erhmann was saying when he wrote, “You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.” And like all creatures, you’re always changing. Don’t criticize the bud because it’s still unfolding and not yet a flower. Trust the process. It’s all right to guide your own growth, but do it with love and respect. For me, at least, it’s a sacred process.

What about you? Are you gentle with yourself? Do you give yourself room to grow? Do you honor the process? This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in the comments section.

Like all of my posts, this one is presented as food for thought, and hopefully to start a conversation. Does this picture resonate with you at all? For instance, have you ever felt you looked at things differently from other people…that a part of you was alone in the universe? If so, what was your reaction? Were you frightened… depressed… exhilarated… lonely? What did you do?

The decisive question for man is:
Is he related to something infinite or not?
That is the telling question of his life.

Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite can we avoid fixing our interests upon futilities, and upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance….

In the final analysis, we count for something only because of the essential we embody, and if we do not embody that, life is wasted.
—Carl Jung

What do you think of Jung’s quote? Is the “infinite” important in your life? I’ve read enough biographies to know that many people lead fulfilled lives without paying much attention to the infinite. That said, it has been very important in my life. What about you?

The infinite aside, do you believe there is some essential that you embody and that your life is wasted if you don’t learn to express it? If so, do you know what that essential is or are you still looking?

A Hero’s Journey

The most defining moment of my life happened when I was 10 years old…I was in my 5th grade classroom, looking at a book about the origin of the solar system. I suddenly had a shift of consciousness that blew my cozy little world apart. Everything we were doing seemed suddenly insignificant in the grand cosmic scheme. There was no one to talk to about it, so it was frightening…but also exhilarating. The scary part was that I was completely alone in that part of my life…I could only look inside myself… and when I did there was nothing but a deep black hole.

I wrestled with that for a number of years and finally decided it was just another hero’s journey…the hero goes off on a quest, has some trials, learns/gains something and brings it back to the community. No big deal. Once I stopped taking it too seriously I was free to enjoy the adventure.

Alone On a Desert Island

This post is responding to Alex Shalman’s I’m Stuck On A Desert Island, With Just Myself. In it Alex confesses that one of his biggest fears is being completely alone, and he offers some great practical advice on how to handle solitude. His post reminded me of that incident when I was a kid, and that the deep black hole has disappeared. I no longer feel lost but at home in the universe. I’m convinced that would never have happened if I hadn’t spent a lot of time alone…exploring, finding and following my own path. What about you? Do you believe you have your own special path in life? Have you found it yet? Do you feel at home in the universe?

This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in either the comments section or in your own post. I especially invite Alex, Tina, Shirley, Bob, Liara, Ellen, Derrick, Jenny, Abu, Lyman, Danny, Michelle, Jenny and Erin, David, Adam, Peter, and Galba, if anything in this post resonates with you.

Picture courtesy of NASA.

I’ve been chosen to receive one of the 2007 Adultitis Antidote Awards. Thank you, Kim and Jason!

I’ve been tagged by Alex Shalman for his Caring Compassion Charity project, which means I’m to write about a charity I’m passionate about. That’s a no-brainer for me…it’s the local Friends of the Shelter. The picture on the left is of Roadside, found roaming near the entrance to our town. When an animal is found there it usually means it was dumped from a neighboring community… we have a well-deserved reputation for finding good homes for any animal coming through the shelter. The shelter is not officially no-kill, but because of the efforts of volunteers the only animals euthanized are the rare ones for whom there is no hope…they’re either too ill to respond to medical treatment or too dangerous to be rehabilitated. That seldom happens.

In addition to finding homes for the animals and making their stay at the shelter as pleasant as possible…which includes comforting the ones who are shy and frightened, taking dogs for walks and socializing the ones who need it…we help pay for medial care and spaying and neutering. We also help needy pet owners with veterinary care for serious illness and injury and for spaying/neutering.

It’s an organization I’m proud and grateful to be a part of. Some of the most touching and rewarding times of my life have been working with the animals. Thank you for asking, Alex.

If you’d like to join Alex’s project, the rules are here. For my part, I’m tagging

Shirley at Brighter days for you and me!
Tina Su at Think Simple. Be Decisive.
Derrick Kwa at Sui Generis
Bob at Every, Every Minute
Abu Aremu at Positive Self Talk Guide
Danny Kohn at Be Inspired Every Day
Peter at I Will Change Your Life
Scott H. Young
Jenny and Erin at a tongue-in-cheek quest for understanding…
Lyman Reed at Creating a Better Life
Jenny Ryan at Using My Powers for Good
John Wesley at Pick The Brain

Photo by Aaron Honey

If you can’t pronounce it, say it loud!

That was the advice Professor William Strunk gave to his English students many years ago. He was telling them to let their voices be heard. Don’t keep quiet for fear of making a mistake. Mispronouncing a word is not a big deal, and if you keep quiet you will never learn to pronounce it correctly.

That quote reminds me of babies learning to walk. It’s a complicated task, but they want to do it, and they’re not worried about constant criticism. They’re not worried about doing things wrong. Falling down is just part of the process…it’s not a sign of failure. I believe that as parents we need to provide that kind of learning environment for our children, and that as adults we need to provide that kind of learning environment for ourselves.

So, when I noticed this past week that the layout of this blog was garbled in Internet Explorer (I use Firefox), I was forced to practice what I preach. I wasn’t happy about the problem, but I tracked it down and corrected it. That didn’t mean the layout would work well in other browsers, so I hired someone to clean up my coding. I care about my blogs, but I care even more about the excitement of learning new things and sharing them with others. So I’m not going to spoil the fun by worrying about mistakes. If there are occasional “oopsies”, it’s just part of lifelong learning.

What about you? What new things are you trying? Is fear of criticism getting in your way?

This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in the comments section.

Photo by Ben McLeod via Flickr. Creative Commons license.

The picture on the left is of Dr. Randy Pausch giving his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University. Dr. Pausch expects to die of pancreatic cancer in a few months, and this lecture wasn’t just for the audience… it was for his three young children when they get older, so they can know what kind of person he was and what he believed in. Dr. Pausch is a natural showman, and his light-hearted talk (see video) about how to achieve your childhood dreams has already spread through the internet and touched the hearts of millions of people.

One of the main messages of the talk was to work hard for what you want, be good to people, and enjoy life to the fullest. Don’t complain about setbacks, just work harder. “The brick walls aren’t there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how much we want something.” Be grateful for criticism and use it wisely. If you live your life the right way you don’t have to chase success. It will come to you.

His no-complaining, live-life-to-the-fullest approach has inspired people to change their lives. Thousands have already told him that (Wall Street Journal video essay). Since the talk he has been on Good Morning America, CBS News and was Person of the Week on ABC. But the most touching part of the whole story, for me, was the April 17, 2007 entry on another website, the one where he kept people informed of his progress fighting the cancer. In it he said he tries to keep a positive attitude, but couldn’t be sure about how he was doing. Then he received this e-mail:

… I happened to have been behind you for a few blocks as you were driving from campus last night (Monday). Before I recognized it was you, I found myself thinking, “Gee that guy is really enjoying the moment…..driving down the road on a warm, early spring evening, top down, wind blowing through his hair, with a smile on his face…..probably headed home to a wife and maybe a little one or two……that’s the way to live life.”. And then you turned left and I recognized it was you. I then found myself thinking, “It’s Randy! He looks so happy! And, in this most private of public moments (alone in his car, yet on the road for anyone to observe), I can’t imagine anyone who IS living life more. No one is more deserving!”. Thanks for sharing your happiness/your life so fully with so many of us…….on campus and in your car. You can never know how that glimpse of you tonight made my day, reminding me of what life really is all about…”

Randy Pausch has been through a lot, and he’s facing some grim times ahead. But he believes life is precious and is determined to enjoy it and celebrate it as much as possible. What about you? How are you honoring and celebrating your own gift of life? This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in the comments section.

Photo by wil_p via Flickr. Creative Commons license.