Lighting a Single Candle

It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.
–Chinese Proverb

A week or so ago there was an interesting random acts of kindness story on the evening news. Apparently at a drive-through window one customer paid for the drink of the fellow behind him in line,. That fellow was so pleased and touched, he did the same for the person behind him. The gesture went on for hours, and the people interviewed felt great about it…they loved both the gift and the chance to pass it on.

But that wasn’t the end of the story. The reporter managed to track down the person who bought the first drink. He hadn’t realized what he had started, and he hadn’t done it out of generosity. He was angry at the fellow behind him for honking and trying to hurry him. So instead of letting the incident ruin his day, he took the high road and did the fellow a favor. This is a great example of Trait #1 of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People:

They have a sense of meaning, direction, and purpose. They are value-centered rather than reactive and defensive. They understand that emotions are great sources of energy and motivation but are often poor guides for action. Instead these people use their values as guides.

The fellow buying that first drink used the energy of his anger to assert his values. And in the process he brightened the day of all the people behind him in line. Which just goes to show, we can never know what effect our actions will have on other people. We just have to play our part well and have faith that in the long run what we do matters.

What about you? How are you using the energy of your emotions? Please share your experience in the comment section.

Photo by Cremo at Flickr. Creative Commons license.


Thanks to Joanna and Al for commenting on the last post.

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4 Responses to Lighting a Single Candle

  1. Derrick Kwa says:

    Love the story. Reminds me of a quote I read last month.

    “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ” – Buddha.

  2. Jean says:

    Derrick,
    Thanks for coming by and for the quote. Glad you like the story. 🙂
     

  3. Bob says:

    Oh I try. I try. Working with my teenagers all day long… I try to light those candles.

    I’m reminded of the last couple of weeks of school. This one particularly negative young lady was always complaining that my classroom was too cold. Since I have no control over the temperature in my room, I always told her that she didn’t need to tell me that. In fact, I was cold too… and wearing my coat!

    One morning, she was particularly whiny.

    “I’m SO TIRED of it being SO COLD in here ALL THE TIME!”

    I was “SO TIRED” of her at this point, but I just put on my best smile and said.

    “Good morning! How are you today?”

    She realized what I was doing, and smiled in sort of an embarrassed way.

    “Good morning to you, too. I’m fine.”

  4. Jean says:

    Bob,,
    Thanks for sharing the great story. I don’t know about you, but it helps me to remember when I swap incidents with other people. It must be hard with so many teenagers…on the other hand, there was this adult over at the Y today…. 🙂
     

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