What I Learned From the Blob in the Black Sweater

cheerfulmonk. Creative Commons license.

This month the topic for Robert Hruzek’s group writing project is What I Learned From…People. The person who comes to my mind was actually named John Rieber, but I’ll always think of him as “the blob in the black sweater”. I had a few classes with him my freshman year in college, and I don’t recall seeing him after that. He got his nickname when I was walking with friends one day and he went by on his bicycle. He said, “Hi, Jean.” I said, “Hi, John,” and my friends stared at me and asked, “How did you know who that was? You can’t see.” They were right, of course. At the time I was foolishly heeding the advice of my mother and sister and not wearing my glasses unless I absolutely had to. But that didn’t stop me from knowing who it was. “Oh”, I answered. “He’s the blob in the black sweater. I saw him in my English class today.”

But that’s not why I’ve been grateful to him all these years. We had both been put into the honors calculus class, a small, intense class with an illustrious professor and about 12 students, 10 guys and 2 gals. During the course of the year we all bonded, and towards the end of the year the guys decided we should all have dinner together…at the freshman boys’ dorm. Now not only was this before dorms were coed, but at the time the ratio at Stanford was two boys to every girl and there was a no-cars-for-freshmen rule. The idea was that we should concentrate on our studies and learn to adjust to college life. In practice it meant the freshman girls had a grand time dating the older boys, and the freshman boys spent a lot of time thinking about girls. So when two girls suddenly appeared in the dining hall, we got a lot of attention. I was extremely shy at the time and turned a bright red, and I mentioned it was embarrassing to have everyone looking at me. Fortunately the fellow I mentioned it to was the blob in the black sweater. He got a disgusted look on his face and said, “Oh, Jean, no one’s interested in looking at you!”

That was one of the transforming moments of my life. Oh, yeah. It had nothing to do with me. It was just the situation. Lighten up and stop being so self-centered. It took a long time and a lot of practice to get over my self-consciousness, but the first step was taken that night. From then on whenever I started to feel self-conscious I would remember to get my ego out of the way. I would focus either on the people around me or on the task at hand. And if I had to give a speech I would focus on what I wanted to share with the audience. It wasn’t about me, it was about them. Thanks, Blob in the Black Sweater. As I said, I’ve never forgotten you.

What about you? What are your favorite lessons you learned from people. Please share your thoughts and experience in the comment section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe and Todd for commenting on last week’s post.

And thanks, Robert, for doing this series once a month. It’s great fun.