Entries from March 2008 ↓

 
 
limonada. Creative Commons license.

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in.
—Alan Alda

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing.
—Cheerful Monk

Bertrand Russell, on the other hand, had a completely different different point of view:
We all live in a dream. The fortunate person never wakes up. Basically he was saying, Ignorance is bliss…if you’re lucky.

 
 
Janet 59. Creative Commons.
 
 

 
 
sean dreilinger. Creative Commons.

I cheerfully admit, I’m not one of the “lucky” ones. I’m more like a bird crashing into a window because she doesn’t even see it’s there. The best I can do when that happens is take a bit of time to recover my wits, then go flying off again, learning as much as I can from the experience.

Isn’t that a bit grim for Cheerful Monk? I think not. Just because life is imperfect doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it. And “enjoy” is an active verb. It doesn’t mean just taking pleasure in the good fortune that comes our way, although that is important. It also means taking action to create joy in our lives. I try to do that by making a commitment to curiosity, lifelong learning, love and compassion, and humility and humor. What about you? What is your life like? What do you do to create joy in it?

Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

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Thanks to bikehikebabe, Ellen, Pauline, Robert and Daz for commenting on last week’s post.

Thanks also to Noa Rose for the Alan Alda quote.

kool_skatcat. Creative Commons license.
 

jurek d. Creative Commons license.
 

MicheKerr. Creative Commons license.

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.
—Anonymous

The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen.
—Anonymous

When my daughter was about four months old I was working 10 hours a week, and a neighbor babysat when I was at work. It usually was a good thing for everyone. The neighbor had little children who loved Kaitlin, and she was a gregarious baby who loved the interaction. But one day she was tired and unhappy when she got home. She was quiet, but she looked miserable. I had her in my arms and asked sympathetically, “Oh, did you have a bad day? Tell me about it.” She looked up, wrinkled her brow and said, “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.”

Then she stopped, knowing full well that people take turns in conversations, so I said, “Tell me more.” She answered, “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.” Just then my husband came out of the bathroom (he had worked most of the night and had just gotten up), so I said, “Tell Father.” She looked at him and told her story again: “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.” Then she looked back at me, and I told her, “I’m sorry you had a bad day.” She sighed and dropped off to sleep in my arms.

It helps when people care enough to listen.

I personally think listening is one of the best ways of showing love. What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to Maria, Karen, bikehikebabe, Robert and Noa for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
Thanks also to Chat Chatterton for giving me some updates on the story of Major Brian Dennis and Nubs, which we mentioned in The Need to Love. To see a video of Nubs’ arrival in San Diego click here. For articles about Major Dennis’ return and his reunion with Nubs, click here and here.

 
 
kaswenden. Creative Commons license.

 
Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.
—Heraclitus

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
—Ernest Hemingway

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. That’s my favorite mantra when I try something new. It quiets my inner critic and gives me the freedom to experiment and learn new things without worrying about being judged.

For instance, when I first started writing an inner voice would say, “What makes you think you can write? Why would anyone want to read anything of yours?” The only solution for me was to get my ego out of the way and write in the spirit of sharing. It doesn’t matter if my writing is “good” or “bad”. The important question is, “Is it honest?” Does it accurately express one person’s way of experiencing the world? Maybe some people will be judgmental, but that’s not my problem. My job is simply to play my part well…to immerse myself in the process and leave the rest to the gods.

It reminds me of a child going with his mother to meet the teacher he would be having in his new school. During the visit he looked at the pictures on the walls and asked, “Who painted all those ugly pictures?” His mother was horrified at his rudeness and was going to intervene, but the teacher just answered, “Johnny, in this class people don’t have to paint pretty pictures, they can paint anything they want.” Johnny visibly relaxed…this school was going to be a safe place.

 
 
Sheree K. Creative Commons license.

That feeling of safety is so important to learning. That’s one reason therapy reading dogs work so well in schools. The dogs are nonjudgmental and the children feel safe with them. Reading aloud is something to be shared with an interested listener rather than a chore, and the children look forward to doing it.

Children have to rely on adults to give them a safe learning environment, but as adults we can provide it for ourselves. So I no longer worry when my inner critic sneers, “What do you think you’re doing? What makes you think you can write? No one is interested in what you have to say!” I simply answer, “Yeah, sure. You’re probably right. And it doesn’t matter. I’m writing anyway, and you can’t stop me.”

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. And for me there are few things more important than writing.

So, that’s what I care about, and that’s what works for me. What about you? What do you care about…care about so much that you’ll do it no matter what other people might think? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Shamelle, Daz, Jenny, Paul, Noa, Bruce and Liara for commenting on last week’s post.

desi.italy. Creative Commons license.

Daylight Saving Time started yesterday morning at 2 am in most parts of the United States. It used to start on the first Sunday in April, but it was moved up to save energy…we use less energy for artificial lighting when it gets dark later in the evening. That sounds great in theory, and it probably worked when the idea was first implemented. Unfortunately that was before air conditioning…now researchers have shown we actually use more energy with the new changes.

That’s just one example of a fundamental rule:

 
This is especially important when it involves a fundamental life question: How we want to spend our limited time on this earth?

A Declaration of Independence
Jenny Ryan recently re-evaluated this question and wrote a post about it: My Declaration of Independence (Which Turned Out to Be Quite Long). Jenny says personal growth/self-help information was invaluable to her when she first went into business for herself, but

 
She’s decided she doesn’t want to keep striving to be a bigger “success”, and that’s all right. It doesn’t mean she’s lazy and “settling” for less than what she wants. The truth is she’s happy with where she is right now. She will continue working on herself, but what she really loves about her life is interacting with people one-on-one. She wants to live her present life deeply, not go chasing after MORE and BIGGER.

Amen to that! Thanks, Jenny, for your post. You’re a woman after my own heart.

What about you? Are you living your own life, or are you trying to live up to someone else’s definition of success? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to Robert, bikehikebabe, Ellen and Pauline for commenting on last week’s post.

For a related post on living more deeply in the present see Johathan Mead’s “How intimate are you with life?”.

Tuffy rescued by Best Friends
 

Tuffy recovering
 

Tuffy meeting new family

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-— Lao-tse

When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.
—Benjamin Franklin

Last week I mentioned the story of Nubbs and Major Brian Dennis. Dennis had nursed Nubbs when the dog was wounded and freezing near the Iraq-Syria border. When Dennis had to leave the area Nubbs tried to follow the Humvee but couldn’t keep up. That didn’t stop him… Dennis was 65 miles away, but Nubbs tracked him down in just two days. Dennis rewarded that determination and loyalty by sending Nubbs to California, where he will be reunited with Dennis when Dennis finishes his tour of duty.

This week’s story is about Tuffy, who was close to death when he was found at a ranch in Nevada by staff members from the Best Friends Animal Society. They named him Tuffy because of his resilience and will to live.

The staff members were at the ranch trying to rescue some of the dogs left after the owner had died. In the process they saw an unrecognized face peering out from the opening of a hay bale structure. The dog wiggled in recognition when they spoke to him, but he was too badly wounded to come out. Apparently he had been dumped at the ranch by an owner who thought he would find food, water and shelter there, not realizing that he would be an outsider and attacked by the pack.

As we can see from the first picture above, his right side had been torn down to the muscle layer and was covered with filth. He also had some deep bite wounds and had lost a lot of blood, and his wounds were dangerously infected. But as he looked up at the staff members he tried to wag his tail. He was glad they were there.

It took four hours to get him medical treatment from a veterinarian, and while they were transporting him and cleaning his wounds he didn’t protest. He just lay still and looked up at them with trusting eyes, occasionally wagging his tail a bit. When they settled him down for the night they weren’t sure he would survive, but the next morning they found him standing up, thumping his tail against the sides of the crate, happy to see them. As Liz, one of the staff members said, “For Tuffy …it seems that knowing someone cared was just enough to help him pull through this serious setback and fight for his very life.” Never underestimate the power of caring.

He was then taken to the Best Friends sanctuary in Utah for further medical treatment and tender, loving care. After he had healed, he was adopted by a family in Arizona.

Tuffy is just one example of the many rescues taking place every day by humane societies across the United States. I’m grateful to be a part of the No More Homeless Pets Movement, which also includes spay/neuter programs to reduce the number of homeless pets left to suffer and die. As I mentioned in last week’s post, we can’t do everything, but we can do something.

So much for one of the causes near and dear to my heart. What about you? What do you care about? Do you get a chance to hear about success stories that feed your soul? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe and Jonathan for commenting on last week’s post.

To see a video about the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, click here.