We hear a lot these days about how happy people not only have more fun in life, they also live longer. Does that mean we should worry about our health when we’re unhappy? A recent WebMD article indicates it’s best to lighten up. It’s not being happy every single minute that counts, it’s knowing how to be proactive rather than being a passive victim in life.
Basically it’s the first three items in The Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People
1. They have a sense of meaning, direction, and purpose. They are value-centered rather than reactive and defensive. They understand that emotions are great sources of energy and motivation but are often poor guides for action. Instead these people use their values as guides.
2. They realize that the quality of our lives depends on how we focus our energy and our attention. They try to align their thoughts and actions with their values. They know how to motivate themselves to take action.
3. They don’t judge themselves or others harshly when things go wrong. They focus on what they want, not on what they don’t want.
Don’t forget, too little stress is as harmful as too much stress. Don’t try to live in a little cocoon of completely positive thoughts. Notice what’s going on in the world and in your life. Sure, that will cause you some stress at times, but the goal isn’t to eliminate stress it’s to optimize it. Notice what things you have control over and what you don’t. Focus on those areas where you have some influence. Know what you truly value in life and use the energy of stress to help you express those values in the world. That’s the attitude that leads to both health and happiness.
So, what about you? How do you focus your energy and your attention? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
Thanks to Sue, Ellen, bikehikebabe and Joseph for commenting on last week’s post.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past year, it’s the effect negative thoughts can have on you and your body, and the way they keep maintaining themselves..
When your mind is full of negative thoughts, when hope seems to be gone, and you are close to, or in a state of depression, the continuous worrying will put an enormous strain on your physical condition.
And being exhausted will keep those negative thoughts coming for sure..
Indeed, the most important thing is to try and think positive, ‘see the light at the end of the tunnel’..
On the other hand, being positive and ‘happy’ all the time doesn’t sound that great to me either. I do believe that it is in times of hardships that we fully learn to cherish our blessings!
Your post reminds me of that beautiful quote:
Give me the grace to accept the things that I cannot change,
the courage to change the things that I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference..
Thanks for sharing Jean,
hope you’re having a wonderful day,
Ellen
Many yrs. ago I’d think of 3 negative things to change. I didn’t consider IF they could be changed. Frustrating
Now I think of all the wonderful things about my life & what I can change to make it even better.
Ellen, you say everything soooo well that we are intimidated to send anything. Why don’t you misspell some words & say something stupid?
Ellen,
If you haven’t read it yet, you might like Mourning Our Losses. In it I say, “…don’t try to rush the process, but keep in mind that if you stay open to life…if you nourish yourself with music, inspirational quotes or literature, or whatever connects you to your deepest values…you will find you have gained more than you have lost in the trip through the tunnel. Have faith you will experience the joy at the end.” That doesn’t mean we can’t get outside help if it helps!
bikehikebabe,
In general appreciating what we have and seeing where we can make things better is a great strategy. Thanks. 🙂
Hi Jean,
thank you.. what a beautiful quote from your other post.. the positivity in it really touched me.. It’s not always that easy to keep the faith..
@Bikehikebabe
You’re kidding right ;-))? I’m not a native speaker, so I’m editing my comments over and over again to take out those miss-spelled words, and wrong expressions I’m probably using..
But honestly, the comments I write here over at Jean’s blogs always come directly from the heart, maybe that helps in bridging language difficulties??
Ellen,
Thank you so much for making this site interactive. I really appreciate your participation and sharing from the heart.
Ellen: I can’t believe that YOU (who writes so well) are from another country with a different language. ???
Happiness can be a fickle beast. It tends to come and go as we feel expanded and contracted. The key is to discover happiness in every moment. That is why it is so important to love what we do. Stress kills, peace wills!
“When you are loving your life, magic happens.”
http://mighty-forces-of wisdom.net
amazinent,
Thanks for coming by. I couldn’t agree more with your observation, “When you are loving your life, magic happens.” You might like my other blog, Cheerful Monk.