Entries from April 2008 ↓

 
ChinchillaVilla. Creative Commons license.

He never grew up; but he never stopped growing.
—Arthur C. Clarke, epitaph for himself

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens, keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.
—Cheerful Monk

The truth of the matter is, I’m a playful, exuberant puppy at heart. Last week I said I was feeling a bit tense so I experimented with smiling, bouncing on my jogging trampoline, and singing. I said I would tell you if I remembered to keep doing it. The answer is a resounding yes. As I mentioned in What Are Your Stress Secrets at Transforming Stress, I also experimented with laughing and dancing.

And I did talk out loud quite a bit. I got out my teddy bear (a cuddly 27″ long) and hugged, talked to and danced with him. I hadn’t done that in years. It was energizing and liberating.

Yes, it was incredibly silly and non-grown-up. And I had a great time, learned a lot, and got a lot done. I’m sticking with Arthur C. Clarke. Never grow up, and never stop growing.

What about you? Do you believe in growing up, or do you, too, reap the joys of being silly? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to David, Daz, Robert, Gloria, and Shilpan for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
rmansoorian. Creative Commons license.

Self-talk is not that different from a thermostat. It’s one of the ways we monitor ourselves, control impulses and guide actions.
—Tom Brinthaupt, Psychology Professor

When we’re babies we talk to ourselves. We start with sounds, then move onto inflections and rhythms of speech. And while we’re doing it, we’re entranced by the sound of our own voice…it’s one of our first toys. But as we grow up…go to school… learn to interact appropriately with other people, we’re taught to keep quiet…most of the time, at least.

So I don’t know about you, but most of my adult self-talk has been internal. I often have a lively dialog going on, but the mute button is definitely pressed. That made sense when I was working with other people, but I work alone a lot of the time now, and I’ve been thinking of talking out loud more. From what I’ve read, it can be as effective as journaling for keeping in touch with yourself. And it has the advantage that you can move around and do routine chores while you’re talking. But after the millions of words I’ve written in my free-association journal, it’s been hard to make the switch.

Until now, that is.

Why the sudden change?
I recently read Jared Sandburg’s From Crib to Cubicle, A Familiar Voice –Our Own– Reassures. In it Sandburg says as many as 96% of people working in a cubicle environment talk to themselves out loud. That talking may be a nuisance to others, but it also helps keep the talkers on track. It helps them tune out distractions and keeps them focused on their goals. He also says they’re more apt to talk aloud when things go wrong…it’s like having their own friendly guide helping them. One airline pilot even envisioned an imaginary guide sitting in the jump seat behind him, ready to give advice when problems came up. And in a comment to last week’s post at Transforming Stress, bikehikebabe said when she’s tired she finishes her exercises by talking herself through them.

That made a lot of sense. My way of handling a problem is more to gather information or to go off and think and write about it, depending on the type of problem. But when I thought about it, I realized I do miss not talking more. Some of the happiest moments in my life were when my daughter was a baby and I talked to her a lot. She loved it, and it lifted my spirits. And, strange as it sounds, I love talking to the dogs over at the local shelter. Again, they love the attention and the talking is fun for me. Those two situations are similar in that the words don’t matter. Babies and dogs tune into the nonverbal, the tone of voice and the facial expression. And for me it was hearing the cheerful, reassuring voice and the physical act of smiling that lifted my spirits. Hey, I can do that without an audience. So yesterday I experimented with smiling, bouncing on my jogging trampoline, and singing. That definitely worked for me!

A new technique for the toolbox
The interesting thing is I’ve been a bit nervous lately because we’re about to go on a trip and have also just bought our first Mac. Those are both fun things, but a lot to think about. And last night when I was trying to concentrate, my husband kept interrupting because he needed help with something. So I thought of those cubicle workers who face this all of the time, and I started cheerfully talking to myself. “Let’s help him get what he needs so that will be finished, then you can get back to what you were doing. You have plenty of time.” It really worked, and I now have a new mood-lifting/stress-management tool that I can use any time I choose. I will let you know next week if I’ve remembered to do that!

What about you? Do you ever talk to yourself? If so, when do you do it and how does it work for you? Do you ever sing for the sheer joy of it? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Brian, Shilpan, David, bikehikebabe, Robert, Evelyn, and Daz for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
The Daily Puppy.
 
 

 
 
Elfleda. Creative Commons license.
 
 

 
 
marymactavish. Creative Commons license.

The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds.
—William James

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
—Calvin to Hobbes

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing.
—The Cheerful Monk

So, how do we keep learning and growing? My husband and I get several newspapers and numerous magazines, including Science and Science News, to keep our world view relatively broad. But my greatest growth comes not from information about the physical world, but from caring about people with views and experience different from mine.

As Ellen commented in The Power of Listening, mindfulness is “an alert witnessing of reality without judgment, attachment, fear, expectation, defensiveness, bias, or control.” And we have chances to practice that every day in our interactions with other people. All we have to do to get out of our little mental boxes is to open our hearts and expand our minds. We will never be perfect at it, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.

What about you? How do you keep learning and growing? How do you open yourself up to life? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Robert, Ellen, bikehikebabe, Shilpan, Michael, Karen and Darren for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
2-dog-farm. Creative Commons license.
 

 
 
Haruko, the goat in the picture, loves to play king/queen of the mountain. (See video.)  And presumably Viverati is designed for people who want to be special, to feel superior to others. Some people are clearly motivated by that, but it’s not my style. We can see from the video that Haruko is having a great time, but no more than the ducks and the dog are. I actually identify more with the dog…I, too, have my moments of delight in just being alive.

 
 
alpinemeadows. Creative Commons license.

But if I had to be an animal, I would like to be a search and rescue dog…they, too, get to the tops of mountains. And they do it with friends, have a great time, and make a contribution in the process. That, to me, is the way to live. For their video, click here.

What about you? How do you live your life to the max? Do you believe that “common” sucks?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Todd, Noa, and Daz for comments to the last post.

Robert at Reason-4-Smile has a related post: Ten symptoms of having vision beyond yourself. In it he quotes from Wikipedia about self-actualizing people:

 
That’s just the opposite of “breaking away from the sheeple“. It’s following your own path without disparaging people who live their lives differently.