Don’t Be Afraid of Detours

 
Last week we talked about Life As a Shared Adventure:

Life doesn’t always go smoothly, and it’s a lot more fun when we think of it as an adventure rather than complaining because things aren’t going our way.

In particular we talked about the importance of attitude and developing our skills. In the comments section Karin pointed out there’s a combination of acceptance and trust in my favorite prayer:

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity. I sure hope You know what You’re doing.

I’ve been thinking of that a lot this past week. I certainly don’t believe in the Law of Attraction, that if we think the right thoughts and play our part well we will get what we want in life. I’ve seen too many cases where things haven’t turned out that way for people…one of the most recent being Randy Pausch. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue living life to its fullest. As Randy said:

Cheating the Grim Reaper doesn’t mean living longer. It means living well.

For me that means not fighting life, not defining ourselves too narrowly, but instead understanding that our view of life is limited, that to grow we must be willing to change. As Kathleen Norris puts it,

Prayer isn’t asking for what we want. It’s asking to be changed in ways we can’t imagine.

Or, one of my very favorites, Richard Bach’s:

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.

Amen to that!

Obviously I’m inspired by quotes.

But quotes aren’t enough. I also need to remember stories, examples from my own life where scary changes have turned out just fine and from the lives of other people. Three of my favorite stories are about James Whistler, Mary Kay Ash and Scott Adams.

James Whistler

Had silicon been a gas, I would have been a major general.
—James Whistler

Whistler was attending the West Point military academy until he failed a chemistry test. So instead of being successful in the army, and being forgotten by history, he became a world-renown artist.

Mary Kay Ash

When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.
—Mary Kay Ash

Mary Kay Ash was a highly competent salesperson and trainer until she was passed over for a promotion in favor of a man she had just trained. She was so frustrated by the discrimination against women that she decided to write a book to help other women succeed in business. The book turned out to be a business plan for the company she founded…a company which had over $2 billion in sales when she died. She wrote three best sellers in the course of her career. One of them, Mary Kay on People Management has been included in business courses at the Harvard Business School.

Scott Adams

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
—Scott Adams

When Scott Adams didn’t move up the corporate ladder, he created the popular cartoon Dilbert, about the frustrations of working in a large corporation. He has touched the hearts of millions of people.

So detours may be frustrating at first, but that doesn’t mean we won’t end up liking the new path better than the one we had started on. Have you ever been forced to take a detour? How did it turn out?

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Robert Henru, Robert Hruzek, rummuser, Karin, Jackie and John for commenting on last week’s post.
This entry was posted in Lifelong Learning, Self-Worth, Stress Trap. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Don’t Be Afraid of Detours

  1. rummuser says:

    The law of attraction is to be treated as a guideline. Just thinking about what you want, WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, is foolish. In all the three stories that you have given, the individuals attracted financial and career success after they DID something about their failures. The detours will always be there, and it is the brave man who will take the road less traveled! Being brave is also acting!

    rummusers last blog post..National Problem !

  2. Detour itself is not enough, will you persistent in doing it? Do you want to do what it takes on doing it? Those might be the questions we have to be prepared to answer to make a detour.

    And really thank you so much for the following quote:
    “Prayer isn’t asking for what we want. It’s asking to be changed in ways we can’t imagine.”

    I can’t agree more.
    Robert

    Robert A. Henrus last blog post..If only your life is a WordPress project

  3. Jean says:

    rummuser and Robert,
    We’re all agreed, commitment and practice is necessary. I figured I had already covered that in Life As a Shared Adventure, Commitment and Practice and The Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People. As I wrote in last week’s post,

    I, for one, am committed to continually honing my skills. It’s a small price to pay for living life as an adventure.

    I’ve been doing that for years. I’ve always had a lot of drive, even though I’ve never been ambitious in the worldly sense. I do notice that a lot of personal development blogs are trying to encourage people to make commitments and take action. Are those things you personally are wrestling with? When is commitment easy for you? When is it difficult? For me the power of blogging is looking deeply into our own lives and sharing our experiences. Thank you both for coming by. 🙂

  4. Jean says:

    rummuser,
    I just wrote the following in a comment to a law of attraction post:

    “About the law of attraction…I certainly believe it can be motivating if it gets us moving and working, but I just can’t believe we’ll always get what we want even though we play our part well. Think of Randy Pausch…I can’t imagine anyone doing more to live to see his children raised. He did wonderful things in the process, but he still passed away and missed watching them grow up. And a friend of mine worked extremely hard for about thirty years writing science fiction, supporting herself with jobs like being a waitress while she focused on her writing. She was convinced that she would eventually succeed in writing. She finally gave it up in her late sixties when her health started failing. She wound up extremely bitter for having wasted her life. A psychologist told her at least she had spent her life doing what she loved, and she was so angry she wanted to throw him out the window…she didn’t want to write for the joy of it, she wanted to be a paid writer.

    I also know plenty of people who worked hard because they felt they had to in order to survive. They wound up successful even though had never dreamed it. It seems to me that the law of attraction works when it gets people to focus and work hard. That certainly increases their chances of being successful. But It’s not the only way that successful people motivate themselves. What do you think?

    Thanks for the food for thought.”

    So, I’ll ask you what I asked the author of the post, what do you think about these other examples?

  5. Diane says:

    Sometimes I wonder if roadblocks or detours are asking you to pay attention to something you haven’t noticed and need to?

    I so love your prayer too!

  6. Jean says:

    Diane,
    I don’t know if there’s any divine purpose behind roadblocks, but I figure if you have to go through the pain you might as well learn something from the experience. Again, thank you for taking the time to comment. 🙂

  7. Diane says:

    Jean,
    I agree with it all being a learning process.
    Thanks for having me!

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