Do you think Lucy’s advice is worth 5 cents? I do. It reminds me of the Buddhist attitude:
It’s just fear (or loneliness, anger, frustration, whatever). Don’t let it jerk you around.
It’s a quick way to step out of the drama of our lives and get perspective. It doesn’t say not to feel emotions, just don’t let them dictate our response to external events.
I had a chance to practice this the past couple of months. We had a heavy hail storm early last July and it pockmarked our two-year-old 4Runner badly enough that we decided to go through the hassle of getting it fixed.
We drove to Santa Fe and talked to one of our insurance company’s preferred providers, which guaranteed that they would do a satisfactory job. We said we knew they would be swamped with other hail-damage jobs and we were willing to wait to bring it in. They told us August 17th, about five weeks later. It sounded like a reasonable plan and when we brought it in they said it would take a couple of weeks, three at the maximum.
I’ll spare you the details. We finally got it back this past Tuesday, after slightly over eight weeks. They did do a good job…the car looks like new again…and the insurance company was easy to deal with, but after the first month it was hard not to feel a bit jerked around by the body shop. My husband phoned after the first four weeks and they told him they had about 31 hours of painting to do. When I phoned two weeks later they said they would start painting the following Monday. Somehow that didn’t exactly inspire confidence. 😉
Anyway, we talked to them a couple more times to check the progress, and I was about to switch into my cheerfully firm, “I need to talk to someone who will take responsibility” mode when they finally said it was done.
Would they have finished faster if we had been more assertive? Possibly, but our main concern was to have it done well, and that they did. Towards the end I was generating enough energy to start pushing a bit more, but we were managing fine and didn’t need the car yet. I was starting to be bothered more that they seemed to be taking advantage of our patience and that the car wouldn’t be there if we needed it. As I said, after two months it was clearly time to start being more assertive but it turned out to be unnecessary. We’re just glad it’s done!
It’s now off our list and it’s time to move on.
On occasions like that I let Nurse Hitler deal with the situation! 😉
.-= Grannymar´s last blog ..Coffee Time =-.
Grannymar,
My husband and I could use one of those. 😉 You’re lucky to have her.
Well I am ‘different’ but as one of my pals recently said…”so you’ve got an visible/invisible disability, you shouldn’t let it rule your feelings…and if people think something other then you should say it’s your trademark” or words to that effect.
at the point that the ‘trademark’ got out to visible I wasn’t thinking anything but “bl**dy h*ll” why today!!!
Of course, I hadn’t taken into consideration some factors about it all which in hindsight I should have asked Disability to provide me with some extra help. Brian/Disability and the lecturer have provided me with extra food for thought in relationship to handling a powerpoint presentation etc.
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY! =-.
Cathy,
My disability has always been my eyestrain. There was no way I could have handled some of your classes..too much reading. I still remember taking long walks when everyone else was studying for finals. Thank goodness I had an aptitude for physics and problem solving. I would never have gotten through college without it.
I admire you for what you’re doing.
If you lived in India, you will simply get used to being jerked around and become a Stoic. Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry laid back, we are. If you have an Indian friend somewhere close by there, ask him what is the “Chaltha Hai” attitude?
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..Older Men, Take Heart. Older Women, Take The Advise. =-.
Rummuser,
I’m aware of that and thought of you often during the wait. 🙂