Which is more exhausting for you, talking or listening? My gut reaction is “listening” because if someone wants to talk I usually “overoblige”. I’m apt to let them dominate the conversation and indulge in a monologue. This cartoon points out I need to be less passive and take more responsibility for creating a meaningful dialogue.
On the other hand, I too have been guilty of monologues. They’re a lot more fun for me but I need to work on that for the sake of my poor listeners. Communication isn’t always easy. 😉
What do you think?
Hester, in our bicycle club (Cyclones) used to dominate every conversation. She was from a family with 12 children, so she was trained to be heard. Her timing was EXPERT. In a split second after someone’s sentence, she was in there & stayed from then on. I hated her. (She’s long gone from here & won’t be reading this blog, so I can talk about her.)
So if you don’t want to be HATED you won’t do that.
I love to dominate a conversation. Do you suppose I learned that from Hester?
No, I didn’t make up her name. If you ever run across a Hester, it’s probably her. Can’t think anyone else would be named Hester.
I am rather prone to monologues, only because my walls don’t speak! 😆
By nature I am one of life’s listeners. Some people think I am shy, but I like voices and learning about people. Listening and throwing out the odd question works well for me. Ask a man about himself and he will talk until the cows come home!
.-= Grannymar´s last blog ..Sing a Song of Sixpence…. =-.
My walls don’t speak either so I do my monologues. You know Grannymar, with the new hip. ” Push yourself up, keep that foot out, don’t bend too much.” I tell myself (out loud) all the things I’d rather not do.
“Ask a man about himself and he will talk until the cows come home!” —But Tom doesn’t talk…
…except when he disagrees with me, which is all the time. He says he’s not disagreeing but just questioning it. I state facts which are obvious–to me. He brings up other possibilities. (Damn, he’s a scientist—complicating it.)
BHB – I have almost full movement with my new hip- except touching my toes! I kneel, stand on my toes and can climb a ladder (only when I need to). Mind you the frosty weather has set in and I am very much aware of the need to be careful when I step out of doors.
A questioning husband can still give you a hug, the walls don’t do that for me. Enjoy!
.-= Grannymar´s last blog ..Sing a Song of Sixpence…. =-.
It works! My avatar appears. Thanks Jean for the help.
.-= Grannymar´s last blog ..Sing a Song of Sixpence…. =-.
If you can do it, so can I. I just touched my toes.
The doctors here scare you with their 5 restrictions. They are afraid of being sued in case someone, somewhere might dislocate that hip. From all our walking, you & I have muscles around that hip which hold it in place.
BHB, be careful, I said ‘except touching my toes!’ Now I better try 😉 OK! I did it once, lets both leave it at that and not tempt fate.
.-= Grannymar´s last blog ..Sing a Song of Sixpence…. =-.
Grannymar,
I’m glad that it works, but I have no idea why! They already knew about you so wouldn’t let me do anything. Another of the mysteries of the universe…not to be questioned but to be appreciated. 😉
I know what you mean about liking to listen and understand people. I do have trouble with the people who don’t even let you throw out an odd question now and then.
BHB,
No, I don’t think you learned that from Hester. Most of us like to be listened to at times. It’s understandable, but as you point out, some people do overdo it. 😉
Again, I’m so glad Grannymar’s gravatar works. Pictures make the comments more cheeerful and friendly.
This doesn’t fit in so well but… I saw on the Today Show the other day-can’t forget it. A popular football player was on the show because he’d sat with a lone boy at a table in the crowded cafeteria at school. Made friends with him. The boy was Autistic, at least at the bottom end of Asperger, not knowing how to relate to people.
The boy looked very sad, but forced a split second sad smile once in awhile.
A young girl with a beautiful voice sang a song about being alone, that was written for the boy. Asked if he liked the song he said yes, looking down & sad said, “But it was a little sad.”
Everyone (8 people) laughed merrily. If he’d said, “Yes, but it was sad” no one would have laughed. How can a mother explain to an Asperger boy the difference between “It was sad” & “It was a little sad?
bikehikebabe,
Never worry about the fit. It touched my heart. Thanks for sharing,
Granymar says she has almost full movement with her new hip. I have a long ways to go.
Like I used to sit on the bed or floor, drawing my legs to under my chin. Just now, I couldn’t even lift my leg up high enough to get on my Health Rider. I’m afraid to twist, turn, bend. I don’t think I could be what I was like before. I’m no longer flexible.
If my overly conservative doctor will release me from all those restrictions, I’ll try moving like I used to be able to do.
bikehikebabe,
Good luck! I can’t remember when she got her transplant and when you got yours. Hopefully when the doctor says you can try more things you can get some of your flexibility back. Does it still hurt? How is your new shoulder coming? You’ve been through a lot.
I think Grannymar got her new hip in August. I got mine June 23. In spite of my complaining, I’m glad you reminded me. No IT DOESN’T HURT AT ALL. That was the whole point of the replacement.
My shoulder is doing O.K. There’s lots of therapy for a shoulder. It could take most of the day. I don’t do a lot. Everyday I promise I’ll do more, but I have a life.
bikehikebabe,
That’s the trick, to do what you reasonably can and not let it take over your whole life. It’s not an easy decision.
I’m wondering if your operation or original situation was different from Grannymar’s. There’s no way of telling I guess.
Grannymar,
I’m happy that your recovery has gone so well!
Jean & BHB,
Every surgery and patient are different. I am 62, tall and very slim. My brother three years younger, had a hip replaced two years before me. His procedure was different and he still has some problems and pain.
BHB, you had extra difficulties because of your shoulder. How would you like me to send Nurse Hitler for a week or two? She would have you dancing in a week. 😆
.-= Grannymar´s last blog ..How to tell If You’re on the way down Hill =-.
I try not to monopolize conversations. I delight in and encourage participation even when I am lecturing. There are times when it becomes difficult to listen more or less. I should imagine that one should try and strike a balance.
Shall send an email to you with a Deepak Chopra take on the subject.
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..Dubai. =-.
but, but, but Grannymar, for years up to my new hip I used to sit on the floor with legs in split position, bend forward, elbows on floor between legs, resting head on hands & read the newspaper.
Not even Hitler Elly can get that back for me. 🙁
Grannymar,
bikehikebabe had two shoulder replacements in addition to the hip. She’s been through a lot! Again, I’m so glad yours went well and that she’s at least out of pain.
Rummuser,
In the past I probably erred on the side of too much listening but I agree with you about having a balance.
bikehikebabe,
It sounds as if you’re right about not being able to do that again. I’m sorry for your loss, but most of us have never been able to do that so it wouldn’t be an issue for us. I for one am impressed that you could ever do it. 🙂
Jean, I should have found your other blog long back. I don’t know what I was thinking of! Now, listening is a great thing, it is the most considerate thing you can do for another person, but it is tremendously hard work. One of the most difficult things you can do for someone, yet the most rewarding.
gaelikaa,
I agree listening is hard at times, but it reminds me of my relationship with my mother. Once we could afford it we talked on the phone for an hour or so every Saturday morning. Mostly I listened and was happy I could do it. It kept us close.