Do you believe some challenges are worth avoiding? I do. On the other hand I was lucky enough to experience depression when I was a kid. I learned first hand that Francis’ approach doesn’t work for me. As a result I’m a strong believer in optimizing stress and the need for challenges in life:
That said, I do try to pick challenges that excite me and avoid the ones that aren’t a good match for my interests and talents…for instance owning a house or working towards a high-status career.
What about you? Do you think we have much choice in our challenges? If so, which ones have you chosen to tackle and which ones have you chosen to avoid?
I wanted to become an excellent downhill skier but couldn’t. Our ski area is very steep. But with all the years our family skied, our kids became excellent skiers. I love that.
I would have loved to be an excellent dancer. I watch TV -So You Think You Can Dance. My mouth hangs open through it all. I guess if you start as a child, dance many hours a day, there are a few that can dance that well.
bikehikebabe,
I cheerfully admit I have no athletic prowess, I can’t sing, etc. I’ve tried some of these things and even though I wanted to do them I had to go looking for something else that was a better match to my abilities, or else take the attitude that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly…the important thing is to enjoy doing it for its own sake and not worry about how good I am. That was true of some singing lessons I took for a couple of years. I learned to stay in tune but my voice isn’t that great. I kept with it because I enjoyed the lessons so much. The teacher and I laughed a lot and it was a great break from computers.
I can’t honestly say that I have been faced with challenges. Somehow I have always treated what others would call as challenges as just being part of life. Some two decades ago, I was exposed to this gem from The Buddha and I have just allowed that to steep into my system.“Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no individual doer thereof.”
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..Euthanasia. =-.
Rummuser,
I think my definition of challenge is broader than yours. Playing Sudoku or doing crossword puzzles are included in my list. And when I’m immersed in a problem my ego is out of the way. There is no individual doer.
Evan,
The graph is just one simple reminder to monitor our stress level and keep it in the productive range. Another tool is The Secret of Happiness:
Ask yourself every day
What’s good about my life?
What needs to be done?
How can I get this done and enjoy the process?
I think the graph is quantitative and we need a qualitative dimension. The difference between the stress of forcing ourselves to do what we don’t want to do vs the excitement of taking up a challenge.
I am personally challenged by a number of physical difficulties but if you met me in the street they wouldn’t be noticeable until I tried to do something that is easy for another.
I can’t ‘run’ fast so most sporting activities are out including jogging. When I was a child I lived in the country near the mountain area – in Summertime there was Twilight Sports for kids and my Mother signed me up. I couldn’t win without a huge handicap because of my ankle problems but I went and everyone was supportive. I did relays, long jump, throwing the javelin and stuff like that…Every year they would have a prize giving and I would go but I rarely won anything, so I stopped going until the year Mother made me! I won a cup that year for the ‘achiever of the year’ – we had a big cup all year and I still have the little cup! (tried to find out something about it when I was at the School Reunion but nobody came up with information) I was probably about 11yrs old…
My hand tremor (both hands) is a real challenge which I have had to find ways to overcome and live with…the person who developed and invented the lidded take-a-way cup is a life long friend of mine. The problem I have with general cups is the handle-ratio-weight of hot fluid. mugs are fine! It’s the fine motor skills that cause me problems – I can’t even manage dealing with something as fine as a credit card object. The times when I am trying to put my ‘bus card’ into their slotted machine and the driver thinks I have been drinking!
Now I’m challenged as a mature student in the teen world of University…trying to juggle home with study….juggle tiredness with other and so on.
I still though continue though to ‘risk’ things just to see if I can do it! I try to go with the flow on the day-2-day things.
yesterday I wanted to make a pancake sort of item. I found that i couldn’t flip large ones so had to make almost pikelet sized pancakes! They were still nice – just not what the recipe-picture wanted me to achieve!
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..oops that’s wrong! =-.
Cathy,
My big handicap has been eyes that don’t work very well. It’s been a major nuisance at times…especially not being able to drive much…but it sounds like it’s easier to get around than yours. I admire your spirit.
Those pancakes sound just fine to me!
I have made a special ‘post’ for the Cheerful Monk who asked some questions about life/Xmas here in NZ 🙂
Enjoy
Cheers and a Merry Christmas to you as well…
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..questions/answers for the Cheerful Monk =-.
Cathy,
Thank you! It tickles my funny bone that images of snow and evergreen trees have become important symbols of Christmas even though they aren’t connected with the Holy Land. Traditions are fascinating. When I think of Christmas I think of people riding camels in the desert humming “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.”
This year we already have snow on the ground so our Christmas will be white. I personally like the mild Decembers when it’s not too cold and the sun comes out.
Yea! for you Cathy in NZ,
I have somewhat of a handicap with my new hip. It doesn’t feel like it belongs to me–like it grew there.
Today I told the doctor (100 miles from here) that I walk like a drunken sailor. He said to stop drinking.
chuckles bikehikebabe
last week when I was seeing my doctor about my foot…and needed him to sign off a form about getting some money for mowing the lawns and he said
“do you want me to mow them?”
I wasn’t fast enough…by the time I had worked out what he said he had retracted the statement!
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..questions/answers for the Cheerful Monk =-.
If a challenge is stressful, it might not be good for your. If it’s enjoyable, it would benefit you and help you to grow. That’s my take on it anyway!
.-= gaelikaa´s last blog ..Me and My Dupatta =-.
gaelikaa
that is a very interesting comment. I guess some of my challenges are stressful but they have allowed me to ‘grow’ because they make me realise that it is difficult to have disabilities that are mainly invisible; but on the other hand it makes me look for an alternative.
at University just everything in the eatery department is based around paper plates & cups and plastic cutlery. I have over come the plastic cutlery by bringing my own proper ones from home (actually an old set, in case I should inadvertently bin them). I have it all wrapped up in a nice handwoven serviette which does double duty of keeping the cutlery together and keeping my lap free of ‘tremor-dropped’ items.
I keep the cutlery in my mini backpack and find myself using it if I’m at the Mall foodhalls where again everything is plastic
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..questions/answers for the Cheerful Monk =-.
gaelikaa,
For me the trick is, assuming I have a choice, to avoid challenges that don’t turn me on and tackle the ones that do. If I don’t have a choice I try to work on myself to handle the situation with minimum wear and tear on the body. That’s why I taught classes and led groups in stress management…to remind myself to practice, practice, practice. This blog is also designed to remind myself. 😉
Cathy,
Good for you! I once had to eat mostly pureed foods for two years. Like you I had to get into the creative problem solving mode. It does keep the old brain tuned up!
Very good, Jean. I hear you loud and clear!
Cathy! You’re very resourceful indeed!
I just remembered a couple of days ago (spurred by some of these posts) that Auckland has a Disability Resource Centre across town so I will try and get over to see them, might be some more ‘tricks/gadgets’ I could use. But of course, now is Summer mini holidays so they sort of places probably closed most of the January!
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..questions/answers for the Cheerful Monk =-.
Cathy,
Let us know if they do have anything useful for you. Your saying they might be closed most of January reminds me of France, where a lot of things closed down for the whole month of August.
That is so weird. Summer in January! Here in the USA there’s 2 feet of snow here & it’s very cold. 🙂 or 🙁
no, no, no, that is not weird! but on the otherhand it would be nice to have just one day of snowy stuff! to try it out 🙂
the last time I saw snow in December was back in the late 60s when I was domiciled in the UK
there is Snow Planet up here, http://www.snowplanet.co.nz/ – never been there, but apparently it’s ‘kewl’ 🙂
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..questions/answers for the Cheerful Monk =-.
bikehikebabe, jean and friends
of course, we are day ahead so it’s the 25th (now evening)
the day must have the first with the blue-est sky on record…so much sun, just magic. Everywhere we went the sea was sparkling, the birds were twittering etc.
never saw anyone that was grumpy…
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..December 24th, 2009 – Auckland, NZ =-.
Cathy,
That’s great! I was thinking of you this afternoon when I was reading about the horrendous storm in the Midwest that was causing all sorts of trouble for travelers. I decided having Christmas in summertime would make things a lot easier.
Torben and Kaitlin sometimes come at Christmas, but I would never ask them too. It’s about 1400 miles and traveling this time of year can be dangerous if one is unlucky. We were incredibly lucky with the weather when they came at Thanksgiving. It was beautiful while they were here and winter hit with a vengeance as soon as they left.
Anyway, glad you had a great time!
I think probably the problem of what the seasons are wherever you are in the world has absolutely nothing to do with the original celebratory idea.
I mean would anyone now think that Mary should have been in a draughty cold stable, freezing in the middle of Winter/Europe. Or was it another time of the year that Mary was in this stable! Then some ancient citizens thought that because it is cold and snowy and we can’t get down to the beach (they hadn’t found the antipodes at that point, it was still theory) we will give the citizens a joyous festival so they will be happy. “oh, we’ll need a reason, and so Mary was in that stable doing her thing…etc”
I know that Boxing Day was when the lords and ladies gave the domestic/staff their presents – to cheer them up. Which of course would have shown the retailers that there were opportunities to create more monies in the dead of winter when people rarely ventured forth into the muddy and cold streets of the cities/towns 🙂
You can almost see why your family want to travel so far to be with their parents but then again it would have been easier and less dangerous in the Summer. Only problem here is that everyone travels on the same day and roads get jammed ++++ even the slower alternative routes get jammed. The radio offers travel options/reports all day long sometimes 🙂
apologies to anyone offended by more laidback summary of what it “could be, might be” etc – remember I am affected by tooooooo much SUN!
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..December 24th, 2009 – Auckland, NZ =-.
My you are smart. Do You want to be our next President? No, I guess you can’t since you aren’t from USA.
Cathy,
I think your summary may be close to the mark. A lot of pagans celebrated the winter solstice so Christmas offered an alternative. And the symbolism of renewal and hope fit.
I agree with you that traveling for the holidays can be a pain. We don’t feel lonely if they don’t come during the holidays. We feel relieved when they come when the roads/airplanes aren’t so crowded.
It’s supposed to get down to -7 degrees Fahrenheit tomorrow morning, with a high of 25 degrees. If Kaitlin and Torben had to come during a holiday, we’re glad they came at Thanksgiving. The weather was beautiful then.
bikehikebabe,
I personally would hate to be president. Would you really want the job, Cathy?
No bikehikebabe, I think I will pass on USA President at this point in time
No Jean, I’m quite happy with being President of my Own Life
25C was the max temp for today but that is taken at the Airport (I think) so it might have done a few more degrees out here which is not near the beach (not far from the beach, just not over the road!)
Hope everyone on the whole, had a wonderful Christmas Day wherever you are in the world. Celebrating it or not Celebrating it depending on whether you do or not.
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..Yah, it’s Boxing Day! Box on People 🙂 =-.
Cathy,
Well said! Thank you! The same to you. 🙂
jean,
absolutely zilch help from the Disability Resource Centre at Royal Oak other than to refer me to a Trust that adminsters the rest of Auckland.
rang the Trust this morning…zilch help from them. Apparently, I need to be properly diagnosed by a specialist and even then I am not entitled to any help that would useful because according to the telephone operator I am not disabled as such! However, she did say that once I was 65 I might be entitled to more help!
she is sending me brochure in the post….
I have a hereditary problem…we all have it, a strong gene that takes no notice of marriage partners. My ankles are known fact as well
Oh well, I have gotten onto some great problem solving recently so this is just a blip in my personal solving system. I really just wanted, for once in my life, someone else to solve a few issues! 🙂
I know that the online grocery shopping is going to be winner, hope to do it monthly once I have certain things set up here, i.e. the small chest freezer up here in the kitchen (have space now) instead of downstairs in the garage.
Cathy,
I’m sorry you couldn’t get some help but it sounds as if you’re coping creatively. I admire you!