I’m still thinking of why people belittle New Year’s resolutions when I used to love them. It’s probably that I’ve been fascinated by behavior modification since I was a teen, so taking time out for reflection and setting a new course was an adventure to me. It wasn’t a matter of success or failure.
I do think Mike had a good point in a comment he made on the subject,
I figure, what makes New Year’s so special for making resolutions anyhow? If the thing(s) that one is making resolutions about are that important, any time of the year would be just as appropriate.
In fact I don’t think of New Year’s Day as the beginning of the year. Because of all that time in school the year really starts in the fall for me. That’s when I tend to be most energized. In contrast the short cold days of winter are a time of reflection, a time to stand back and tune into what I care most about in life. In the past that involved making some action plans, but now it’s more a matter of checking to see if I’m honoring long term commitments.
In last week’s post at Cheerful Monk Mike wrote,
Three things come to mind to me.
Whistle while you work. Whatever work you end up having to do, try to make it enjoyable, as best as you can.
Lead the field. If you end up in a job that you can make a career out of, work at being the best at that job. Read, learn, study and work at being the very best that you can be, even if it means doing things outside of work and on your own dime.
Take charge of your attitude. You can choose what your attitude is. A positive attitude is a lot more enjoyable than always being a grouch and a grump. It may not be easy at first — and you may have to work at it — but it can be done.
These things work, but they are easy to let slip when the going gets tough or over the long haul of years on the job.
I agree with all the points Mike makes, but it’s the last line that resonates most. It’s easy to let things slip if we don’t stand back once in a while and reassess how we’re doing. It doesn’t have to be connected to the calendar or involve making new resolutions. Just reaffirming our long term commitments is more than sufficient.
What do you think?
for commenting on last week’s post.
My commitments right now are TOTALLY connected to the calendar. I use old calendars & 1 month is 1 day for me. The numbers on the calendar go with a separate list of 30 things that I should/must do. Joint replacement rehabilitation & jobs.
I get a large charge out of a check mark on the calendar for each thing I do. Without the reminder, I wouldn’t remember most of them.
How’s this for a boring comment?
bikehikebabe,
I don’t think that’s boring at all. I think that’s a great use for those extra calendars that I get in the mail. Thanks for the suggestion. 🙂
I have 35 old calenders. I counted. Lydia threw them all away but I retrieved them. What I used to do took up, only a week. Now 1 month is 1 day. Whew!
bikehikebabe,
I assume the increase is because of your joint replacements? I admire you for your perseverance and your ability to keep your spirits up. You’ve been through a lot. I’m honored to have you as a friend.
I remember hearing that Spring Cleaning was invented in the Northern Hemisphere and it was to give the servants something to focus on after the long haul of Winter. Taking the carpets and curtains down/out to give them a thorough beating in the sunshine – blow away the cobwebs probably stems from that.
I would like to link that somehow to New Year…similar situation it’s cold/wintery Northern Hemisphere – what better time to work on a goal!
there is bound to be some tradition tied up all these seasonal ideas that humans are connected to IMHO.
My resolutions are nearly all long term…other than say “must go out an buy some milk within the next few days” 🙂 Most of them have a whole lot of ‘other’ attached to them…because if though I might have key goal like the one I just made the other week – the ‘other’ will need to be addressed.
Some of my current resolutions that I put together late last year have had to be re-jigged due to other things…i.e. the big sift/sort at home. I just decided that as there are only about 28days in Feb – I will have to stop at #22 and put the house in order in that that last week because Uni begins on Mar 1. By that time I will have probably done all the majors!
(I did that with part of it when the Silly Season and my Personal Sojourn was to take place…I curtailed a number of thngs in the giving/selling arena so that I could just go without stuff hanging over me)
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..Auckland Anniversary Loooooooooooong Weekend =-.
What do I think? I think I need to get back to the fitness center.
In all of the years that I worked with operator license classes, I could always count on one thing — I would gain weight.
This class is the second one I’ve gone back for since I retired and, this time, my intent was to buck the trend and lose weight. With only 6 weeks left, I may not make it, but I don’t have to stop because of that.
Thanks for the mention in this post. With time to reflect on the three items you quoted, I would have to say that each one represents a different period of personal development, for me, separate from what was — (or wasn’t) — asked for at work.
.-= Mike Goad´s last blog ..Surface Temperatures – A Question of Policy? =-.
Cathy,
My guess is the new year probably was connected to the winter solstice, the days starting to get long again. But it would also make sense for it to be connected with Spring, when plants start to grow again.
I agree that long term commitments/goals can be complicated. There are a lot of steps involved.
Mike,
It is hard to manage everything at the same time, isn’t it? There’s only so much time and we have only a finite amount of energy. “I may not make it, but I don’t have to stop because of that.” I agree with that! In fact most people who try to change habits have to try several/many times before they succeed. The previous tries aren’t wasted, they’re just part of the process.
I also agree that people who are successful at work usually do more than just their job description. And choosing to go beyond the minimum requirements is part of what brings them job satisfaction. They’re not just wage slaves, they’re making a contribution.
My long term commitment has been an intention to reduce my weight. I just do not seem to be able to. I do not intend giving up the commitment though!
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..Back Home And Blogging. =-.
Rummuser,
Good for you for not giving up. I gained control of my weight and developed a healthy lifestyle years ago…it was a big project with a lot of little steps. It was well worth the effort, one of the best things I’ve ever done.
Ramana, join the club. Seems that a LARGE amount of people of the world have a weight problem. Being skin & bones, but stuffing myself as a teen has helped me now, but now I have to work at not eating too much.
I just now ate the last of the 1 1/2 pounds of brie cheese because I know Tom knows better than to eat it. The first & last time I’ll buy that.
Jean and BHB, you have just made me feel like a million bucks as you Americans would say. Thank you.
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..Migration / Promotion To Apple Macintosh. =-.
You have a lot to answer for, BHB. Last time you mentioned Brie (don’t know where, don’t know when) I promptly bought some. Scoffed the lot in one sitting (room temperature, glass of red wine for lubrication.) I don’t have a weight problem, never have had. Very lucky because my son who himself is as slim as a rake recently observed that I am “fattist”. Which is slightly better than being a fashist. No idea how fashists slim their believes if so inclined.
U
Rummuser
The little steps are a great way but you have got to have a bit of a plan…start by looking at what you eat linked to what you do on a regular basis.
Are you eating too much at one meal in relationship to what you have done or will be doing.
Portion sizing is also a really big factor…it’s not what you eat but how much.
“Diets” often suggest you curtail a favourite food item which just makes for craving. I don’t follow any sort of diet but work with me/my tastes – the days offerings – etc.
worrying about losing weight, keeping this bit thin, getting that bit right doesn’t help either. OK sometimes I will seriously look at one part of my body and get into despair mode but the next day another body part will look just great – swings and round-abouts 🙂
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..Bad Hair Day (not mine!) + other interesting opinions… =-.
Cathy,
I purposely didn’t put suggestions for strategies in here because the web is loaded with advice. One of my favorite books on developing good habits is Changing for Good. The authors talk about the six stages of change:
I would add one more: (7)Termination —the new lifestyle is so established it’s completely automatic. This doesn’t always happen, but it’s great when it does.
The important thing to notice is action steps come late in the game. The Commitment step is the biggest. Also this book was based on studies the authors had done of people who had successfully made lifestyle changes and they pointed out it often takes several tries before the person succeeds, so don’t get discouraged.
I agree with you that worrying about losing weight is counter-productive. I’ve known too many people who have gone on rigid diets, lost the weight they wanted to, then wound up weighing more than they had when they started. Rigid diets tend to mess up our metabolism, gradually developing a healthy lifestyle doesn’t. The key for me was to find things I liked to do more than eating, and having some of those things involve moving my body (a.k.a. exercise).
Jean
I was just throwing in a few suggestions that I have used…not necessarily how I started out on any sort of journey whether weight loss, fitness or life styles.
Sometimes you have to look at websites with a ‘pinch of salt’ as they are often geared to some monetary aspect…but then most of us are adults with some sense of right/wrong for our personal selves.
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..Bad Hair Day (not mine!) + other interesting opinions… =-.
Cathy,
I agree it can help to find out what other people have tried to see if it might work for us. If we ever want to have the new patterns be automatic there has to be more pleasure attached to the new pattern than to the old. That can take some careful observation and creative thinking.