They know how to mourn the inevitable losses in life. They know how to let go of things they have no control over.
—Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People
I don’t know about you, but this trait takes a lot of practicing on my part. One way I’m doing it is reading books and blogs about dogs. Loving another creature deeply usually means one of you is in for eventual heartbreak. And in the case of a dog or a cat, because they have shorter lifespans, that someone is most likely to be you. That’s no reason for not loving deeply, but it is a good argument for going into the relationship with open eyes and plenty of courage.
That’s why I like Angus’s posts about Wilf and KB’s Romping and Rolling in the Rockies.
Wilf
I’ve written about Wilf before. He’s blind and is gradually dying of melanoma, but is soldiering on and for the most part still enjoying life. He did have a stroke the other night and became disoriented, bumping into things around the house because he lost his mental map of where things are. Angus and his wife took him to the vet to see if it was time to let him pass on, but the vet said not yet. The disorientation was probably bothering them more than Wilf, and that with medicine he should be able to rebuild his mental map in about a week. So they’re enjoying him for a while longer. Again, he doesn’t seem to be suffering and is still able to enjoy simple pleasures.
Romping and Rolling in the Rockies
KB’s dog K has osteosarcoma, bone cancer. As you can see from the first picture, she has had radiation on her left foreleg, and she’s now being treated with chemotherapy. The cancer will win in the long run, but in the meantime they are celebrating the time they have left. K sleeps a lot more because of the chemo, but she still thoroughly enjoys her morning romps.
As far as I’m concerned, K is a miracle. Her amazing attitude has taught me so much. But, I’d be lying if I said that I don’t occasionally fall into the abyss of despair that my heart dog has incurable cancer. It usually happens when I’m away from K, snowbiking without her even though she was my bike riding companion for more than 7 years. However, I have to keep biking so that my spine doesn’t hurt too much, so I ride even though it makes me sad some days.
Life happens. That’s no reason to let sadness and fear of the future prevent us from living fully today.
Ancient Sanskrit Poem
Both of these posts remind me of the ancient Sanskrit poem:
Look to this day
for it is life.
The very life of life.In its brief course lie all
the realities and truths of existence
the joy of growth
the splendour of action
the glory of power.For yesterday is but a memory
and tomorrow is only a vision.
But today well lived
makes every yesterday
a memory of happiness
and every tomorrow a vision of hope.Look well, therefore, to this day!
It never hurts to be reminded.
Love that poem
Evan,
I do too. It’s great incentive for keeping focused.
Synchronicity strikes again.
I have just returned from my evening meeting with my friends in the park. For the first time today, I came to know that one of the people that I meet there regularly lost his wife two years ago and is still mourning for her. You will recollect that I had commented about the rustic from who I learn a lot of life’s lessons. This rustic was the one who found out about the loss and the man’s inability to come to grips with it. I had no clue though I had been meeting him fairly regularly. The rustic however had decided that the man needed a jolt and in the presence of four of us, mentioned this loss and asked me about how I was able to cope with my loss of my wife, about which the first person had no clue either.
Some people, like this rustic friend have a knack of getting people to share their grief and offer lessons in natural every day actions and today was no less. At the end of the meeting, the four of us were wiser and better equipped to handle that one man’s grief and he too appeared to have benefited.
The lesson that I learnt is that being flippant has its place and time and the ability to get people to share their burdens, comes with sensitivity. I wish that I had known about my friend’s loss earlier. Many things that I have shared with him, ragged him about etc, would have been very different had I known.
It is also to his credit that he was handling his grief without making a song and dance about it.
a beautiful post monk.
i too follow wilf because he is the twin of my zeke.
and i love the way angus writes. a very wise man.
zekey died of the same cancer. maybe it comes with that breed.
but i learned from my zekey too. when he could no longer take our walks, he was simply satisfied to sit in the grass in the sun. he laughed. even on cool days he laughed with his head up… soaking in the rays. he was my little hero.
we should all be as wise, loving, accepting, patient and kind as our dog! the world would be a better, happier place.
Rumuser,
That sounds like a well-needed lesson. I’m happy for you.
tammy,
Yes, I spend a lot of time hanging out with dogs via books and blogs. They’re a great antidote for human egos and pettiness. (I read a lot of biographies and histories too.)
One of my friends lives in a pensioner village where you are either a single or a married couple.
A couple of weeks ago he said the “joint cat” had been hit by a car and after a week or two the cat was alot better but it (?gender) had lost it’s appetite and no one seemed to be able to tempt the cat…
Another guy in the village, had some sort of blow up and called the SPCA to remove said cat. So the cat was taken away…
Other people in the village were angry that this guy should do this so they phoned the SPCA to get the cat back to be told that “the cat has no owner, therefore the cat cannot return”
Well the reason the cat has no owner is that the owner died 3 years ago and the cat was adopted by others…and was happy to have tidbits from here and there.
Finally someone, at the village called Bob Kerridge who is the over all boss of the SPCA and Bob said “well the cat is owned by the village and so it can come back, as long as they pay the $$ required”
The villagers are collecting the money which will only be a few $$ each and someone will collect “their cat in a few days time” The Cat will come back in much better health, with all it’s vaccinations etc up-to-date
I remember my friend saying once…that you only had to give this cat a few bits because it “visited” other units so was never hungry or even unloved. I thought it was probably called Blackie, Kitty, Pussy, BingBong and answered to all those names because it could see a bowl of food 🙂