No Bad Guys Need Apply

Andy Borowitz is now having fun with the decision to help train and equip, to the tune of $500 million, the Syrian moderates. He says the White House has posted an application form to properly vet the fighters. Here are two of the questions on the hypothetical form:

As a Syrian rebel, I think the word or phrase that best describes me is:
A) Moderate
B) Very moderate
C) Crazy moderate
D) Other
….
If I were given a highly lethal automatic weapon by the United States, I would:
A) Only kill exactly the people that the United States wanted me to kill
B) Try to kill the right people, with the caveat that I have never used an automatic weapon before
C) Kill people only after submitting them to a rigorous vetting process
D) Immediately let the weapon fall into the wrong hands
….

The problem of choosing the right people to help, and making sure the weapons won’t end up being used against us, is a big one. It will be interesting to see how it turns out. Hopefully Borowitz will keep us informed.


 

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10 Responses to No Bad Guys Need Apply

  1. Rummuser says:

    🙂 Knowing him as we do, I am sure that he will.

  2. bikehikebabe says:

    I wish the U.S. would stop trying to save the whole world’s problems & work on our problems.

    • bikehikebabe says:

      …stop trying to SOLVE the world’s problems… (senior moment)

    • Jean says:

      It’s too late for that now, I’m afraid. We’ve managed to make a lot of enemies who are out to get us, and they’re creating safe havens thanks to the turmoil. The Iraq war managed to destabilize things completely.

    • bikehikebabe says:

      You’re right. Every time we’re meek & week, we’re taken advantage of. It happens every time.

    • bikehikebabe says:

      I see I got carried away with the meek word & used week. I meant WEAK.

    • Jean says:

      It’s not that we were meek and weak. It’s that we were arrogant and misguided in taking out Saddam and thinking we could replace him with a vibrant democracy that would be an inspiration to the rest of the Middle East. Instead we destabilized the whole region and are worried that a lot of Westerners are joining the fight. They’ll come home well- trained to do damage here.

      Humpty Dumpty — all the king’s horses…..

  3. KB says:

    What a tough problem… Funny recap, though!

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