gocomics.com/Pearls Before Swine
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Does this cartoon remind you anyone you’ve known? It reminds me of my dad. He hated being an alcoholic, and he ended up dying of cirrhosis of the liver. But often when he was drunk he was happier than anyone else I knew. So who’s to say …?
He had a big influence on me. When I was a teen I decided I wanted to figure out how a person could be that happy without alcohol or drugs. That doesn’t sound a profound life mission, but there it was, and it’s been an interesting trip. In Notes of How to Live in This World and Still Be Happy Hugh Prather addresses the question, “Is it selfish to try to be happy?” His answer is simple — it’s the only way he knows to be kind. It reminds me of the ever-smiling Dalai Lama, who says, “Happiness is the purpose of life” and “My religion is very simple. My religion kindness.” And Thich Nhat Hahn says you can’t really help another person if you’re not happy.
So, doing my best to be happy it is. Who am I to argue with Prather, the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hahn? And it has the added benefit of making me feel close to my dad.
November 15, 2014
I have seen more deaths and destruction due to alcoholism and drug abuse than I care to remember. One common factor among all those sufferers was the sheer goodness of the individuals concerned. Somehow they were unable to cope and took to such abuse as a means of escape.
Vedanta says that our true nature is happiness. We have just covered that basic truth with ignorance! The purpose of life for a Vedantin is to remove the ignorance.
I still bless my father for setting me on the path so early in life. If you haven’t read them you might like Wayne Muller’s Legacy of the Heart — The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood and Marsha Sinetar’s Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics.
i will look for ‘ordinary people as monks and mystics’ monk. thank you for this post.
you remind me of my husband bob.
he was one of the dearest and warmest people i’ve ever known. people were drawn to him.
and his parents… though not alcoholics were cold and forbidding. very unhappy people and difficult to be around. they simply drained you after while.
i asked him once how he came to be so different.
he easily answered… “i saw very early. i could either be like them. or not. i chose not.”
young wisdom.
i tend to think there are simply unhappy people in this world for some reason.
and it’s their inherent nature. they don’t even seem to be able to understand happiness.
Actually my father once told me, “Watch what I do and do the opposite.” How sweet is that?
My family had a lot of problems, but coldness was not one of them. My folks are long gone, but I still love them intensely.
I remember your description of your mother-in-law. My heart goes out to the young you. I hadn’t realized your father-in-law was like that too.
I looked up “just the old, old me” on your peanut on the table blog. YOU are absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Back then & very attractive & shapely now. You look like Grannymar. The comments were closed so I’m putting it here for all to see. (We know what your dog looks like.)
i shouldn’t have made bob’s dad sound like his mom.
she was actually the cold forbidding one.
dad simply was so quiet and reserved as to almost not even be there.
just a gentle soul that let her rule. and rule she did!
i loved him very much.
and…
bhb…
my goodness. thank you for your kind words here. good grief charlie brown!
We’ll always be looking for adorable doggie (gone to Dog Heaven) when we want tammyj.
Someone asked me if I was an alcoholic because I don’t drink. I got drunk in college & didn’t like the not-me-feeling.
In high school someone asked me to take a drag on a cigarette. I took a sip & blew it out. “No, swallow it first. ” YIIIIKE///YUCK!!! NEVER did that again.
I’d rather get high on exercise or by getting excited about a project I’m working on.
Luckily I’m not an addictive personality and I’ve never been wedded to alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. I think I’m basically a happy person, and in no need of any sort of escapism. But I can understand someone being so achingly miserable that they’ll resort to anything to relieve the misery.
Addiction is a horrible thing. None of my or my parents’ friends did drugs, just alcohol. And alcohol in moderation can be good for people’s health, if they’re not in the group that gets addicted.
I was a social drinker when I was younger, and it wasn’t escapism. But there are a lot of things I’d rather do than go to a party. As I understand it, you do go to parties once in a while. Is alcohol usually served?
life is how you make it…
when it is pear-shaped you do it another way
it’s all a bit of a journey…
Amen to that.
I can’t post at Peanut/Tammy website
Even I know that 8 + 3 = 11 or is there a new American adding system…
I just now checked and didn’t have a problem. That’s strange.