I’ve been feeling a bit sad the past couple of days — it’s a predictable side effect of watching Ken Burns’ The Roosevelts, An Intimate History. The story of Franklin and Eleanor, the Depression, and two world wars are enough to do it for me.
It reminds me of this excerpt from an Expat Mom post:
Dorian: “Are you about to cry, Mama?”
Me: “Yeah. This show is really sad. The baby is going to die.”
Dorian: “Don’t you know you shouldn’t watch movies with dying babies? They always make you cry. Stop watching stuff like this!”
Should we avoid all sad things? I think not. I agree with the saying,
The purpose isn’t to shield ourselves from life. It’s to make ourselves stronger so we can let a little more of life in.
It pays to choose well, though. I still remember one weekend years ago. Andy kept asking me if I was all right. I would nod yes and say, “Yeah. I’m fine.” Finally I asked him why he kept asking. “Because you’ve been crying all weekend.” “Oh, that. I watched the Grapes of Wrath Friday evening. It’s a sad movie.”
I’m not sorry I watched it, but that’s one I’ll never watch again. Once was enough!
What about you? Do you ever watch/read things you know will make you sad?
February 27, 2015
I really haven’t thought about it but I do not enjoy watching or participating in things that make me sad. But social requirements call for such activities and I can put up with the inconvenience and get over it quickly too. I would not deliberately go seeking for things that will make me sad.
Some stories are worth a little bit of sadness, I think. The story of FDR is one of them.
Dorian reminds me of the Angel. I may smile and deny anything being amiss. He reads me like an open book. “Don’t bullshit me, Mama”, he’ll say. “I know something is wrong.”
Know what you mean about not watching anything ever again. Or not at all in the first place. It’s part of the reason I don’t watch live News. Can’t stand it. I “only” read the news. And still cry. It’s part of the human condition, Jean, tears welling up at the futility of so much of our best efforts. We want the world to be a good one and yet, as much as we like to defy the notion, truth is that most of us are rendered helpless at the scale of it all.
“Grapes of Wrath”? Only read it. Never saw the movie. And then there are the likes of Zola’s “Germinal” (going down the mines). Tough reading on a young mind. Never forgotten. In decades.
Upshot being that none of us should be ashamed of shedding tears – for others, for ourselves. Or do as the Angel does – write poetry. Poetry – in my mind – catching the moment without reflecting about the ins and outs of what he calls ‘pure’. Joy or misery.
On a practical note, Jean: I do have my uses. Both paper tissues or a linen handkerchief (your preference) to be handed out at a moment’s notice.
U
I should bring you along if I have to go to a funeral. Can you believe more than once I never thought to bring tissues? Thank you for the offer!
things haven’t been crash hot here for a few weeks now…and sadness has been part and parcel but then anger arrives – the two clatter together to a point where if I couldn’t laugh about the matter – !@#$%^&*()_!
so yesterday did something extraordinary decided that the hair style I had for well over a decade needed to go…as the hairdresser did as I asked – I at first was thinking “are you sure, and telling her all hair grows again” and by the end I was smiling from head to toe…
none of my real network have seen it yet but some are curious 🙂
I would love to see a picture of your new hair style. Good for you for doing something to cheer yourself up!
I do watch and read things that I know will make me sad – mostly dog stories where I know that the dog will die at the end. But I read them anyway. I guess that goes to show that I really do believe that the love of a good dog is well worth the grief at the end.
I agree! One blogger wrote a book about his dog: Jack: A book about a dog where the dog doesn’t die at the end. That is very rare.
Sure, I don’t mind things that’ll make me sad. As the saying has it, we should expose ourselves to what’s unpleasant to make us stronger. If you’re always avoiding unpleasant things, your experience will get increasingly narrow. But I must say, the unpleasant stuff seems to get worse and worse!
I agree, one has to choose carefully! And with not wanting to narrow my life too much.
a hard one!
i don’t go out of my way to watch or read sad things. but i can do it. i just don’t seek it.
and i too was so touched by fdr and eleanor’s story. what an amazing family.
great strength there. and at a time when our nation needed more of it.
i love strong people.
They were such a remarkable couple, and they loved and respected one another even though they weren’t a good match emotionally. The amazing thing is they made such a terrific team in spite of that.
Yes.
I’m not sure about strength alone though – also sensitive and responsive.
I agree, it expands our compassion as long as we don’t overdo it and have to protect ourselves by detaching.