All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.
—Wayne Dyer
Amen to that, says I. My version is
When you focus your energy and attention on criticizing other people, you’re throwing away your personal power.
What do you think?
April 21, 2015
I am in total agreement.
Yes!
I think that so many people are so busy trying to figure out how to place the blame on other people that that they forget to look at themselves and acknowledge how they also contributed to part of that problem.
While they are busy pointing the finger, the problem is never solved and spins in a vicious cycle.
I unfortunately witness this every day at a job with a bunch of back-stabbing women.
I shake my head and walk back to care for the dogs who have been left in my charge.
Ironic that they call the female dogs a name I feel is more appropriate for my co-workers.
I’m so sorry you’re stuck in a situation like that. 🙁
I’ve known a number of people who played the blame game. Everything that adversely happens in their life is because of someone else.
I’ve known too many too!
all such great and true comments.
we all seem to be in total agreement.
i often think the entire world is nothing more than a high school.
the cliques… the mind games… the power struggles… the silliness of it all.
i stayed out of it then. and i want to stay out of it now.
i love wayne dyer. i think i’ve read everything he’s ever written.
especially loved his year of living with the tao de ching. he’s a wonderful teacher.
It still amazes me when I see adults act like adolescents. Apparently it even happens in supposedly idyllic retirement communities. I read an article that older people tend to be happier because they avoid toxic people like that. The internet helps a lot — we can connect with kindred spirits.
No truer words.
But it is not only you in the situation. If the other person won’t own up to their part this could influence your attitude and behaviour.
Some things we shouldn’t be happy about. A brief look at the news will provide examples.
The point is to be constructive rather than waste your time “confessing other people’s faults”, to use Stephen Covey’s words.
There are lots of entities, objects and other that I “blame” but none of them take me into the depths of longterm despair.
Right now I’m trying to sort out how my leisure group got such a huge surplus of money and why it wasn’t suggested some time ago to use it to subsidize more events. One member decided to take a stand (I’m the new President) when I happened not to be at the club because I was ill… I phoned the member and found out he wasn’t just peeved about that either but also the repeating event ideas!
The new broom is going to have to read the riot act next month… too many people who don’t do much, don’t attend the other events and spend as much time whining about it all!
BTW we had an impromptu committee meeting at the event yesterday and decided we would trial 3 months of subsidizing some of the trips! However, we did think that it wasn’t actually finances that was the cause of low turn out…
It certainly sounds as if you have a lot on your plate! Good luck, and I hope you enjoy it. 🙂