I was surprised at my reaction to this cartoon. The words, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” immediately popped into my head. My folks said that quite often when I was a teen/early adult. They wanted the best for me, but I knew their vision of a good life wouldn’t work for me. So I had to do some exploring and experimenting before I figured out what did work, and it was well worth the effort. I agree with Robert Louis Stevenson:
To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.
I also partially agree with e. e. cumimings:
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
I say partially because for me it wasn’t that hard once I figured out what my life was about. Yes, there were times in the past I wished some people had been more accepting, but it was a small price to pay for being free. By now it’s no longer an issue — I love my life and my family and friends and feel extremely grateful.
What about you? Did other people’s ideas of what you should do in life fit you? If not, what did you do about it?
PS For those who don’t understand the cartoon, it refers to the song Home on the Range:
June 14, 2015
But of course! Except to satisfy my late mother’s insistence on acquiring a Master’s Degree, I simply ignored what others expected of me and did what I had to do on a day to day basis. In retrospect, I believe that even that obliging my mother was something that was given to me by a larger plan that life had for me. I have never lived the life I loved. I have simply loved the life that was given to me and continue to do so.
That works too. 🙂
I just went wandering and followed my nose when something grabbed my interest.
It sounds as if there was no social pressure on you to go a certain way.
Not to go a specific way. I did feel some kind of pressure to go a normal way but as this wasn’t specified I could feel free to wander.
when my father died so young… my mother suddenly seemed to become rudderless.
in what would have been ‘your future’ talks… became instead helping her through grief.
i have no regrets whatsoever! like you… i love my life and friends and the marine!
but i might have tried to get into some kind of acting… stage or film…
if i had the chance to do it all over. i always loved that and was in every production at every school. and it would have been a career that could go on and on … judging by some of the older actors still around.
i think character actors are fascinating.
Most of my talks with my mother was me supporting her emotionally, too. In my case it didn’t affect my college major or the traveling I did. It was just that she couldn’t understand my interests so it was better not to talk to her about them but to focus on her instead. I was pleased that it was a way of getting close to her and doing something to repay her for all she had done for me.
I like the cartoon you drew better.
Psychiatrist to man on couch: “Maybe you should get another psychiatrist. I think of you as a comic character, but you obviously take yourself seriously.” (something to that effect.)
Very few people have ever tried to tell me what I should do in life. My father always wanted me to be more conventional and more like him, but I always went my own way. And a lot of people thought I was mad to quit journalism and go into bookselling, but I had good reasons for quitting and took no notice. I don’t think I’ve ever been entirely myself though, social norms can be quite persuasive and quite insidious at times.
I spend most of my time alone or with Andy and occasionally Kaitlin and Torben and the pups. I feel free to be myself with them and don’t feel the need of social functions. One of the perks of being an old-timer.
my parents were old when i unexpectedly decided to drop in…i was given a life line when i was in my mid teens and i suspect my sis at that time was given the job – i didn’t end up following anyone’s ideals except my own – i may have found my life/love now – i cetrainly can see it…
I think you’ve done a remarkable job finding what you love. And I wish you all the luck in the world.
I could write a comment as long as a book but I’ll restrain myself.
I was told by my Dad that I wasn’t going to college. It was a waste as I should just be a secretary for a couple of years and then marry.
I lived at home and couldn’t get financial aid because I was his dependent and he refused to sign any forms. I was strongly discouraged when I went to community college and finally dropped out and went to work at a bank.
My father was so happy.
I spent over a decade there, my soul being sucked out of me daily but too terrified and feeling too worthless, to try anything thing else.
Then I acquired a part-time job (while working at the bank full-time) that eventually rolled into a full-time job but wasn’t my passion either. I’ve had a few more “careers” after that and only after discovering the Internet and finding kindred spirits have I started on my path towards my happy life.
I’m a late bloomer but better late than never.
I agree, better late than never. And you do have a lot of people rooting for you!