Yesterday we talked about the connection between expectations and happiness. The Danes seem to be a great example of that.
Early one dark April morning a few years ago I was sitting in my living room in the Danish capital, Copenhagen, wrapped in a blanket and yearning for spring, when I opened that day’s newspaper to discover that my adopted countrymen had been anointed the happiest of their species in something called the Satisfaction with Life Index, compiled by the Department of Psychology at the University of Leicester.
I checked the date on the newspaper: it wasn’t April 1. A quick look online confirmed that this was headline news around the world. Everyone from the New York Times to Al Jazeera was covering the story as if it had been handed down on a stone tablet. Denmark was the happiest place in the world. The happiest? This dark, wet, dull, flat little country made up of one peninsula, Jutland, and a handful of islands to its east with its handful of stoic, sensible people and the highest taxes in the world? The United States was twenty-third on the list. But a man at a university had said it, so it must be true.
“Well, they are doing an awfully good job of hiding it,” I thought to myself as I looked out of the window at the rain-swept harbor. “They don’t seem all that frisky to me.”
—Michael Booth, The Almost Nearly Perfect People: Behind the Myth of the Scandinavian Utopia
Apparently that stoicism and common sense explains a lot. A Danish professor was intrigued by the idea that the Danes report themselves as happy:
After careful study, Christensen thinks he isolated the key to Danish anti-depression. “What we basically figured out that although the Danes were very happy with their life, when we looked at their expectations they were pretty modest,” he says.
By having low expectations, one is rarely disappointed.
—CBSNews, And the Happiest Place on Earth Is
This article from The Atlantic agrees:
Could that be the secret of the Danes’ contentedness? Low expectations? It is true that, when asked how they expect the next year to pan out, the Danes do typically expect less than the rest of us, and when their low expectations are fulfilled, so are they. Happiness has never been an “inalienable right” in Denmark, so it could be that the Danes appreciate it all the more when it manifests itself. Perhaps Danish happiness is not really happiness at all, but something much more valuable and durable: contentedness, being satisfied with your lot, low-level needs being met, higher expectations being kept in check.
Do you agree with the Danes’ approach to life, or do you have another one that you like better?
November 12, 2015
I can never understand the obsession with happiness. Whether it is the GHP of Bhutan or this study about the Scandinavians, it is all greek and latin to me. I would go after joy. The sheer exuberance of being alive. Happiness is the fleeting experience of an emotion when one desire is fulfilled. When one lives a fulfilled life itself, where will the need be for happiness?
Not everyone agrees with your definition: “Happiness is the fleeting experience of an emotion when one desire is fulfilled.” For some of us happiness is much deeper than that. For instance, when the Dalai Lama says happiness is the purpose of life, or when the original byline for Cheerful Monk was “Happiness as a spiritual practice.” Nothing fleeting about that use of the term. As you know, I’m all for exuberance, but sometimes happiness is quieter too. It does allow for different energy states. My definition of the term is very rich.
Anyway, it is fun to see how different people view the world. I thought Booth did an excellent job of discussing the subject. I laughed out loud and had to share his introduction.
Nah, I still don’t like the low expectations idea.
It stomps on the whole dream big idea.
Although I do agree that American are hypnotized by social media, that you must have certain products to be happy, or certain lifestyles or whatever.
I’m sucked into that a lot and have to shake myself out of it.
I mean there’s a little voice that’s still in my head telling me that I need to replace my kitchen countertop to be really happy.
I mean, how stupid is that?
But I still gaze longingly at marble and dark wood butcher blocks, spending too much time trying to figure out which one would complete me.
While I know that my old Formica is just fine.
I think it’s brainwashing, subtle suggestions that worm into the brain and that’s why Americans aren’t as happy as people in other countries who don’t give a crap about that stuff.
So yeah, maybe it’s not happiness but contentment.
Content with what you have.
Abe Lincoln, said something along the lines of “Most people are as happy as they make their minds up to be.” and I agree with that.
I can’t help but think about my little cat Kanga.
She got run over but a farm mower and lost her front legs.
They did the surgery and when she came out of the drugs, the first thing she did as she awoke was purr and then rubbed her face against our hands.
She was happy to be alive.
or as Rummy said, feeling JOY to be alive.
Yep, I think happy is just how you choose to think.
Jeez, I’m rambling and all over the place here but…
yeah.
I agree with you and Lincoln, who fought depression and didn’t give up.
I’m more grateful than content, because I’m always trying new things, not because I’m unsatisfied with what I have but because I love to learn new things, develop new skills. And I don’t do it because I want to achieve a dream, I do it for the process itself, for being fully involved.
You are not rambling here, you are exploring ideas, and I love it!
For me it is more about engagement, joy, satisfaction.
For me, too. 🙂
i love all these comments! we’ve got such a great group here.
i see myself in most of them.
although i’m rather an underachiever i think… compared to you all.
but that makes me happy. LOLOL.
I’m an underachiever too. Once I got out of school I was never interested in worldly achievement. I’m much more motivated by gratitude and curiosity and the joy of developing skills in areas that turn me on. It’s enjoying the process that counts… and sharing with others.
Yay, happiness! 🙂
I am trying mostly to be balanced – take the happy with the sad, the joy with the disappointment – BUT not turn any of them into 100 percenters!
Today, Monday I’m tired and bit jaded but then again my weekend was full of joy and happiness as I bused around the West looking at peoples’ lives as artists….
I’m glad you had a great weekend. 🙂