Self Help

What a disappointment! A lot of people want their wishes granted but don’t want to work for them.

How do you feel about self help? In the past I found some of it invaluable. One has to sort through the overhype and be willing to change, but it can be life transforming.

I have to laugh at the overhype, though. I just finished watching the Netflix series Ultimate Beastmaster.

I laughed when some of the athletes ahead of time said one reason they were doing it was to show other people that nothing is impossible if you really believe in yourself. I don’t think so!

 

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14 Responses to Self Help

  1. Mike says:

    I totally believe in self-help! I’ve got the Black and Decker book, “Wiring” sitting on my desk next to me for a current do-it-yourself (DIY) remodeling project.

    Sometimes, though, DIY projects can take an unexpected turn, like the screened in porch I started off the kitchen. It turned into a 12′ by 12′ dining room! πŸ˜‰

  2. Rummuser says:

    I am fortunate that I live in India. We don’t need DIY self help books. Help here is economical and available in large numbers.

  3. I think self help books and seminars peaked in the 1990s, but have tapered off a bitβ€”blogging, and internet advice have taken over, it seems. Just speaking for myself, I haven’t read a self help book for decades. although I kept a few, and leaf through them from time to time. They certainly served a purpose for me in the past.

  4. Ursula says:

    I am not beyond accepting help, maybe even needing it at time. Yet “self help books”? No. When, as Still the Lucky Few says above. self help books dominated bookshops’ shelves back in the Eighties, Nineties, I’d flick through them. And groan.

    Why “groan”? Because a lot of advice was/is so self evident you’d have to be pretty unsure of yourself to need some author’s hand to make you take a leap. What’s happened to gut feeling, to knowing which path to take even if, momentarily, we may get lost in the woods?

    What really got my goat, and still does, that so called self help books appear to tap into people’s doubt about themselves and how they conduct their lives. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that those books/authors “exploit” the human condition but they sure don’t contribute to making you feel better. They sell you a chimera.

    Having said that, some twenty five or so years ago I visited my doctor, an eminently wise man – long retired now. Something was on my mind. Nothing physical he could help me with. What I needed was advice. And who better than someone impartial, someone who has no allegiances to either you or other players in your life. He explained something to me – at length and in depth. Then, to underline the valuable points he made, he recommended to read up on “transactional analysis” (Dr Eric Berne) and “games people play”. An eyeopener if ever there was one.

    U

    • Jean says:

      I think you’re defining self help too narrowly. I include the Enneagram, Psychosynthesis, NLP, Myers Briggs, Transactional Analysis, Focusing, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, etc. in that category, and I also agree with Mike, DIY books work too. Anything that expands our minds and lives. It blows me away when some idea from years ago pops into my mind as I’m facing a challenge. I’m grateful. πŸ™‚

  5. tammy j says:

    in that time period of the ‘self help’ publications… there are many that I read.
    I don’t regret it. a lot of them I found very helpful. but now I pretty much give them a pass.
    everybody is selling something.
    I was a minimalist for years and years before it ever was labeled that… and just enjoyed living ‘the simple life.’ as simple as I saw it anyway. πŸ™‚
    it’s now becoming what seems to be a huge movement.
    suddenly the internet is chock full of self proclaimed experts in it. (well… plus experts in everything else really. but that’s a whole other comment!)
    it’s comical to me how almost all of the ‘minimalism’ sites have written books and have e~courses they’re all now trying to sell you. 20 year olds who have just discovered it as a way of life and are suddenly “LIFE COACHES!”
    LOLOL. (although I do adore ‘the two minimalists’ Joshua and Ryan.)
    I suppose I shouldn’t laugh. I should just be glad of all the others and that they’re enjoying the concept and trying to spread the word. maybe it will even help keep our planet from becoming wall.e’s frightening world of trash.

    • Jean says:

      I disagree that everyone is selling something, but a lot are.

      I taught some classes and led some groups on stress management, dealing with difficult people, emotional aikido, etc. for about 10 years after I retired. I never took any money for it. Some people besides me got some things out of it, some not so much. I figured if I just practiced what I preached it was well worth the effort. One of the best things I ever did. πŸ™‚

  6. Linda Sand says:

    I believe some things are impossible for me. But I have learned some helpful things by reading. I remember learning the difference between assertive and aggressive when reading I’m OK; You’re OK. I hope I continue to learn as long as I am able to read–whatever type of book I am reading.

  7. Cathy in NZ says:

    the other aspect is that these “self-help”books now have new titles “never been done before” – Tammy’s minimalism is one such arena & I also now see these “tiny houses” are all the rage, never mind the fact people have been doing as well…and then in my fibrecraft all of sudden people are “creating art yarn” – yeh what – in the 1980s they called it “novelty yarn” πŸ™‚ looks exactly the same as well…

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