Entries Tagged 'Happiness' ↓

 
 
ChinchillaVilla. Creative Commons license.
 
 

 
 
Aggarwal_Gopal. Creative Commons license.
 
 

 
 
WoofBC. Creative Commons license.

I kept quitting in the face of adversity until I found something I loved doing, after which point all obstacles became surmountable.
—Jim Buckmeister, CEO of Craigslist

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
–Calvin to Hobbes

If it ain’t easy, it’s impossible.
—Anonymous

In The Courage to Be Confused. The Courage to Be Patient, yesterday’s post at Transforming Stress, I mentioned that I’m in the process of going into the guts of my themes so I can convert them from three columns to two. No doubt about it..it’s a messy and time-consuming business.

Why am I doing it? Because I want to. I do think three columns is a bit crowded, but the real reason is to become more adept at writing web pages and building blogs. That’s been on my Possibility List for a long time, and I even accumulated a stack of reference books to help. But I work best when I have a project of my own to do, and redesigning my layout is just the incentive I needed.

So suddenly it’s a fun thing to do. I’m not foolish enough to try to do it on my regular sites, so I set up WordPress at another of my domains, creativityandjoy.com, where I can play to my heart’s content. And it is play because I’m having fun trying things as I unravel the mystery of all those funny lines of CSS and PHP, e.g.,
 

?* A CSS example */
#content{line-height:1.4em;
      margin:0 155px 5px;padding:0;}
#contentwide{line-height:1.6em;
      margin:0 0 5px 150px;padding:0;}
#content h2,#contentwide h2{font-size:1.3em;
         margin:0 0 10px;color:#185dac;line-height:1.2em}
#content h3, #contentwide h3{font-size:1.4em;margin:0 0 8px;}
#content img,#contentwide img{border:1px solid #d0d0d0;
   float:left;margin:3px 10px 3px 0;}

It reminds me of a summer many years ago when I taught myself some beginning Greek. I still remember the thrill when all of those little squiggles actually made some sense. Talk about living in a magical world.

I’m still a little kid at heart…I learn best by playing. What about you? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Shilpan, and Darren for comments on last week’s post.

 
 
rmansoorian. Creative Commons license.

Self-talk is not that different from a thermostat. It’s one of the ways we monitor ourselves, control impulses and guide actions.
—Tom Brinthaupt, Psychology Professor

When we’re babies we talk to ourselves. We start with sounds, then move onto inflections and rhythms of speech. And while we’re doing it, we’re entranced by the sound of our own voice…it’s one of our first toys. But as we grow up…go to school… learn to interact appropriately with other people, we’re taught to keep quiet…most of the time, at least.

So I don’t know about you, but most of my adult self-talk has been internal. I often have a lively dialog going on, but the mute button is definitely pressed. That made sense when I was working with other people, but I work alone a lot of the time now, and I’ve been thinking of talking out loud more. From what I’ve read, it can be as effective as journaling for keeping in touch with yourself. And it has the advantage that you can move around and do routine chores while you’re talking. But after the millions of words I’ve written in my free-association journal, it’s been hard to make the switch.

Until now, that is.

Why the sudden change?
I recently read Jared Sandburg’s From Crib to Cubicle, A Familiar Voice –Our Own– Reassures. In it Sandburg says as many as 96% of people working in a cubicle environment talk to themselves out loud. That talking may be a nuisance to others, but it also helps keep the talkers on track. It helps them tune out distractions and keeps them focused on their goals. He also says they’re more apt to talk aloud when things go wrong…it’s like having their own friendly guide helping them. One airline pilot even envisioned an imaginary guide sitting in the jump seat behind him, ready to give advice when problems came up. And in a comment to last week’s post at Transforming Stress, bikehikebabe said when she’s tired she finishes her exercises by talking herself through them.

That made a lot of sense. My way of handling a problem is more to gather information or to go off and think and write about it, depending on the type of problem. But when I thought about it, I realized I do miss not talking more. Some of the happiest moments in my life were when my daughter was a baby and I talked to her a lot. She loved it, and it lifted my spirits. And, strange as it sounds, I love talking to the dogs over at the local shelter. Again, they love the attention and the talking is fun for me. Those two situations are similar in that the words don’t matter. Babies and dogs tune into the nonverbal, the tone of voice and the facial expression. And for me it was hearing the cheerful, reassuring voice and the physical act of smiling that lifted my spirits. Hey, I can do that without an audience. So yesterday I experimented with smiling, bouncing on my jogging trampoline, and singing. That definitely worked for me!

A new technique for the toolbox
The interesting thing is I’ve been a bit nervous lately because we’re about to go on a trip and have also just bought our first Mac. Those are both fun things, but a lot to think about. And last night when I was trying to concentrate, my husband kept interrupting because he needed help with something. So I thought of those cubicle workers who face this all of the time, and I started cheerfully talking to myself. “Let’s help him get what he needs so that will be finished, then you can get back to what you were doing. You have plenty of time.” It really worked, and I now have a new mood-lifting/stress-management tool that I can use any time I choose. I will let you know next week if I’ve remembered to do that!

What about you? Do you ever talk to yourself? If so, when do you do it and how does it work for you? Do you ever sing for the sheer joy of it? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Brian, Shilpan, David, bikehikebabe, Robert, Evelyn, and Daz for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
2-dog-farm. Creative Commons license.
 

 
 
Haruko, the goat in the picture, loves to play king/queen of the mountain. (See video.)  And presumably Viverati is designed for people who want to be special, to feel superior to others. Some people are clearly motivated by that, but it’s not my style. We can see from the video that Haruko is having a great time, but no more than the ducks and the dog are. I actually identify more with the dog…I, too, have my moments of delight in just being alive.

 
 
alpinemeadows. Creative Commons license.

But if I had to be an animal, I would like to be a search and rescue dog…they, too, get to the tops of mountains. And they do it with friends, have a great time, and make a contribution in the process. That, to me, is the way to live. For their video, click here.

What about you? How do you live your life to the max? Do you believe that “common” sucks?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Todd, Noa, and Daz for comments to the last post.

Robert at Reason-4-Smile has a related post: Ten symptoms of having vision beyond yourself. In it he quotes from Wikipedia about self-actualizing people:

 
That’s just the opposite of “breaking away from the sheeple“. It’s following your own path without disparaging people who live their lives differently.
 
 

 
 
limonada. Creative Commons license.

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in.
—Alan Alda

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing.
—Cheerful Monk

Bertrand Russell, on the other hand, had a completely different different point of view:
We all live in a dream. The fortunate person never wakes up. Basically he was saying, Ignorance is bliss…if you’re lucky.

 
 
Janet 59. Creative Commons.
 
 

 
 
sean dreilinger. Creative Commons.

I cheerfully admit, I’m not one of the “lucky” ones. I’m more like a bird crashing into a window because she doesn’t even see it’s there. The best I can do when that happens is take a bit of time to recover my wits, then go flying off again, learning as much as I can from the experience.

Isn’t that a bit grim for Cheerful Monk? I think not. Just because life is imperfect doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it. And “enjoy” is an active verb. It doesn’t mean just taking pleasure in the good fortune that comes our way, although that is important. It also means taking action to create joy in our lives. I try to do that by making a commitment to curiosity, lifelong learning, love and compassion, and humility and humor. What about you? What is your life like? What do you do to create joy in it?

Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

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Thanks to bikehikebabe, Ellen, Pauline, Robert and Daz for commenting on last week’s post.

Thanks also to Noa Rose for the Alan Alda quote.

I took this second picture when I first interacted with him. He wanted to get close and connect with me, but he was still feeling vulnerable. He was nervous about being touched, so I spent a while massaging him. He trembled while I did it, but didn’t resist. Even though his tail was between his legs most of the time, he trusted that it was all right. Towards the end of the session he started smiling. Ah! So that’s what petting is all about. When I did it again the next day he started asking for more.

In this last picture he’s running around having a good time. He’s just a young, happy dog enjoying life. I belong to the local Friends of the Shelter, and we’re now running an ad for Clyde in a statewide newspaper. I’m taking the calls so we can find a good home for him.

To me that’s what this week’s lines from Bob Clubb’s St. Francis Project are about:

As I’ve mentioned in About Cheerful Monk, my life purpose is a modest one. I simply want to be able to answer yes to two questions:

• Have you found joy in life?
• Have you brought joy to others?

I’m grateful to Friends of the Shelter for making the answers so easy for me.

Thanks to bikhikebabe, Adam, Bob, Ellen, Al, Sterling, SH, Annette, Adebola, Peter, and Supreme Directory for commenting on last week’s post.

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
–Calvin to Hobbes

I’ve used this quote already… twice. And I’ll no doubt use it again, because that’s one of the main things this site is about…how to regain that sense of wonder and excitement, the feeling that a whole new world is open to us.

As I mentioned in my last post, in 2007 I spent a lot of time in the flow state, where I’m completely immersed in a project, forgetting about time and everything else. Usually when I emerge from that state the world looks fresh and exciting again.

I still want to learn more about HTML and Cascading Style Sheets, and that’s on my Possibility List. But I put a number of things on hold while I was getting my blogs started, and it’s about time I started doing them. The crucial question is “How do I get them done and enjoy the process?”

The first thing on my list was easy: I wanted to get more exercise than the basic amount I get every day (a few minutes on the weight machines at the local Y every other day, plus 30 minutes every day on my Nordic Track treadmill or my jogging trampoline). My exercise time at home is fun, because I play Sudoku or watch DVDs/video tapes while I’m doing it. So I joined Netflix and bought some DVDs of my own and took an exercise break during the holidays.

The next thing is to unclutter my apartment. I’m getting started on that by breaking the job down into small steps and putting them on my Possibility List. I can now look at the list every day and pick whatever appeals to me. I know from experience that once I start recycling and tossing things out, I will eventually build up some momentum and get in the flow there, too.

My real challenge is to learn to shift gears more smoothly. My favorite nightmare when I was working was I was going on a trip and I had to rush home and pack and get to the airport on time. But I couldn’t pull myself away from work until the last moment. It’s the downside of being involved and loving what you do. So I’m starting 2008 by exploring…by experimenting how to make my transitions smoother. I’ll let you know how it goes.

What about you? When do you feel the magic, the joy of being alive? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

2007–A Year of Adventure
Living More Fully
Do What You Love
Waking Up to Life
Are You Spending Enough Time “Doing Nothing”?

Thanks to Bob, bikehikebabe, Wendy, Cathy, Not Yet a Bodhisattva, Adam, Ellen, tracy ho, Simple Simon and tNb for commenting on last week’s post.

I’ve been tagged by Alex Shalman for his Caring Compassion Charity project, which means I’m to write about a charity I’m passionate about. That’s a no-brainer for me…it’s the local Friends of the Shelter. The picture on the left is of Roadside, found roaming near the entrance to our town. When an animal is found there it usually means it was dumped from a neighboring community… we have a well-deserved reputation for finding good homes for any animal coming through the shelter. The shelter is not officially no-kill, but because of the efforts of volunteers the only animals euthanized are the rare ones for whom there is no hope…they’re either too ill to respond to medical treatment or too dangerous to be rehabilitated. That seldom happens.

In addition to finding homes for the animals and making their stay at the shelter as pleasant as possible…which includes comforting the ones who are shy and frightened, taking dogs for walks and socializing the ones who need it…we help pay for medial care and spaying and neutering. We also help needy pet owners with veterinary care for serious illness and injury and for spaying/neutering.

It’s an organization I’m proud and grateful to be a part of. Some of the most touching and rewarding times of my life have been working with the animals. Thank you for asking, Alex.

If you’d like to join Alex’s project, the rules are here. For my part, I’m tagging

Shirley at Brighter days for you and me!
Tina Su at Think Simple. Be Decisive.
Derrick Kwa at Sui Generis
Bob at Every, Every Minute
Abu Aremu at Positive Self Talk Guide
Danny Kohn at Be Inspired Every Day
Peter at I Will Change Your Life
Scott H. Young
Jenny and Erin at a tongue-in-cheek quest for understanding…
Lyman Reed at Creating a Better Life
Jenny Ryan at Using My Powers for Good
John Wesley at Pick The Brain

Photo by Aaron Honey

The picture on the left is of Dr. Randy Pausch giving his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University. Dr. Pausch expects to die of pancreatic cancer in a few months, and this lecture wasn’t just for the audience… it was for his three young children when they get older, so they can know what kind of person he was and what he believed in. Dr. Pausch is a natural showman, and his light-hearted talk (see video) about how to achieve your childhood dreams has already spread through the internet and touched the hearts of millions of people.

One of the main messages of the talk was to work hard for what you want, be good to people, and enjoy life to the fullest. Don’t complain about setbacks, just work harder. “The brick walls aren’t there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how much we want something.” Be grateful for criticism and use it wisely. If you live your life the right way you don’t have to chase success. It will come to you.

His no-complaining, live-life-to-the-fullest approach has inspired people to change their lives. Thousands have already told him that (Wall Street Journal video essay). Since the talk he has been on Good Morning America, CBS News and was Person of the Week on ABC. But the most touching part of the whole story, for me, was the April 17, 2007 entry on another website, the one where he kept people informed of his progress fighting the cancer. In it he said he tries to keep a positive attitude, but couldn’t be sure about how he was doing. Then he received this e-mail:

… I happened to have been behind you for a few blocks as you were driving from campus last night (Monday). Before I recognized it was you, I found myself thinking, “Gee that guy is really enjoying the moment…..driving down the road on a warm, early spring evening, top down, wind blowing through his hair, with a smile on his face…..probably headed home to a wife and maybe a little one or two……that’s the way to live life.”. And then you turned left and I recognized it was you. I then found myself thinking, “It’s Randy! He looks so happy! And, in this most private of public moments (alone in his car, yet on the road for anyone to observe), I can’t imagine anyone who IS living life more. No one is more deserving!”. Thanks for sharing your happiness/your life so fully with so many of us…….on campus and in your car. You can never know how that glimpse of you tonight made my day, reminding me of what life really is all about…”

Randy Pausch has been through a lot, and he’s facing some grim times ahead. But he believes life is precious and is determined to enjoy it and celebrate it as much as possible. What about you? How are you honoring and celebrating your own gift of life? This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in the comments section.

Photo by wil_p via Flickr. Creative Commons license.

In a recent post at Monk at Work, Adam Kayce presents some interesting food for thought. He says that connecting with your own purpose and passion isn’t the same as connecting with the Divine.

He doesn’t say how you can tell the difference, but it doesn’t matter. My own view of spirituality is more simple and more direct. I agree with the Dalai Lama that we can’t know about the Divine, and that the purpose of human life is happiness, which comes from having love and compassion for one another. He also says the greatest teachers aren’t the gurus, but people who teach others the experience of unconditional love.

Since I believe that, I’m forced to admit that I fall far short of some of my greatest role models…dogs. And I’m not alone in thinking of animals as teachers. A recent Beliefnet article is about how horses, cats and dogs have inspired people. One woman refers to her dog “…as my furry Buddha. Before he came into our lives, there was a hole within me that I couldn’t quite fill up. I looked into different spiritualities, donated my time to different organizations, and tried different hobbies. All were learning experiences and often enjoyable, but they never quite filled me. Days after Donnelly arrived, I realized the searching and the ache were subsiding. I now have direction and focus, and I have an understanding of what unconditional love really is. Thanks to Donnelly, I have discovered a passion for helping animals, and I have found fulfillment working to make their lives better.”

Amen to that.

About compassion…I’ll never be able to think of that word again without this picture filling my mind. (I can’t publish it here because of copyright restrictions.) The 9-year-old boy is bald because of chemotherapy, but he looks like a Buddhist monk. His head is resting on a very sick dog, and he’s holding the dog’s ear. His mother had been taking him to the local shelter on weekends to spend time with the animals there. The boy bonded with one frightened dog, so the mother brought the dog home “just for the weekend.” The first night the dog became so sick they had to rush him to the emergency room. That was the night the picture was taken. Needless to say, the dog never went back to the shelter. And five years later they’re both doing fine.

So…love, compassion and a lot of humility. That’s my spiritual practice. What about you? Do you have one? Or are you doing just fine without one? This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in the comment section below.

Picture of dog by Aaron Honey.

I don’t know whether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves.
—The Dalai Lama

I like that quote because it recognizes that the universe is much larger and more complicated than our little minds can completely comprehend. A huge dose of humility is the only sane way of dealing with it. But that doesn’t mean we have to be unhappy.

In fact, the Dalai Lama believes that the purpose of human life is to be happy, and that we can achieve that by being loving and compassionate to one another. Certainly love and compassion are important parts of my own happiness, but for me they’re not quite enough. I also need a certain amount of challenge in my life, and I need to be using my talents and contributing in ways that engage my deepest passions.

So I’ll add a bit of Joseph Campbell to my prescription for happiness:

People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality….
–Joseph Campbell in “The Power of Myth”

And just how do we go about doing this? How do we uncover our “innermost being and reality”? One of the surest ways of getting in touch with our deepest selves is by free-association journal writing. If you’d like to try it for yourself, try Steve Pavlina’s method of discovering your life purpose in about 20 minutes. It could be life-changing. You might just find yourself happier and more passionate about life than you could have imagined.

Picture courtesy of NASA/JPL-Caltech

For another view of the search for happiness, see Adam Kayce’s post on the subject.