If this were my last hour on earth, would I be happy with how I’ve spent my time today, this week, or this year?

Would I feel good about the priorities I’m focused on right now at this point in my life?

Do I feel complete and at peace with the people who matter most?
—Cheryl Richardson

Well, yes. We spent a lot of hours the past few weeks finishing up the insurance documentation. Thanks to the help Kaitlin and Torben gave us when they came, it was not only manageable but enjoyable. Instead of feeling the paperwork was a drag, it was a way of connecting with old memories and turned out to be rich and rewarding experience.

How would you answer Richardson’s questions?

As I lift Wilf into the back of the car he has a look on his face that says “Time that you enjoy wasting, was not wasted .”
—Angus, Wilf the PONS Discovers France: Life With A Blind Dog

 
tammy told me about Angus and Wilf last week. It’s a charming, heart-warming site. Wilf is blind and has cancer and Angus is making sure they both continue to celebrate the little pleasures in life while they still can. If you read nothing else please read the About Me section, on the right below the Blog Archive.

Angus does raise an interesting question: What does it mean to waste time? In a comment at Rummuser’s Ursula touched on the same subject:

…just to prove that I am the queen of wasting time, I will waste even more time on the subject…. Have fallen quite in love with the idea. WASTING time; rolls off your tongue; dreamy.

It seems to me to say we’re wasting time means we think there’s something more important we should be doing with it. And I’m fairly certain some of the things that are most important to me would seem like a waste of time to others. For me I’m wasting time if I’m not

1. Enjoying myself, and/or
2. Doing something constructive

As long as I can answer the question, “Is this a good use of my time” with a resounding “Yes!”, I’m not wasting my time and my life.

What do you think? What does “wasting time” mean to you?

Do you have any favorite quotes or sayings? I’ve been collecting some for years and have a huge pile of them by now. I occasionally go through them to see which ones resonate the most. At the moment it’s these two:

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look. To affect the quality of the day—that is the highest of arts.
—-Henry David Thoreau

The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beauty available to us now. And that is not a matter of faith. It is a matter of practice.
—Thich Nhat Hanh

Learning to “affect the quality of life” isn’t a common hobby, but it’s been mine since I was a teen and it’s been one of the loves of my life. It’s complicated enough to keep me curious and fascinated, and it gets even more interesting as time goes on.

Do you have any favorite quotes? Do you have any hobby you’re passionate about?

To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.
—Robert Louis Stevenson

People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality….
–Joseph Campbell in “The Power of Myth”

I was lucky to know at an early age that I was looking for what Joseph Campbell was describing, long before I read his description. It took me a long time to figure out how to get that resonance, but it was enough to know what I wanted and that I could figure it out if I kept exploring. The search itself was an adventure worth having.

So what resonates with my “innermost being and reality”? Playing with ideas and sharing them with other people is a big part of it. (My Brain Is My Favorite Toy.) I’m a visual thinker so finding or creating images to help me express my ideas is another big part. Immersing myself in a Photoshop project is one of my favorite forms of meditation.

I’ve always been interested in history and biographies as a way of understanding the world, so at the moment I’m spending a lot of time not only on history but also following some of the revolutionary changes occurring in the world today. A lot of those changes are scary and upsetting, so I get almost daily practice in staying centered and using that emotional energy creatively. As well as practice in keeping my sense of humor.

It goes back to my basic philosophy

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.

That’s what resonates for me. What about you? Do you feel that resonance that Campbell was writing about? If so what is it like for you? If not do you think it’s worth trying to find it?

икони

David Gardiner Garcia. Creative Commons license.

As I’ve mentioned before, I was born to avoid being eaten by a crocodile.

What were you born to do? Is your life purpose as strange as mine?

Подаръци

Last Friday Kaitlin sent this picture of Banshee (on the left) and Sammy (on the right) riding in their new car, a Honda Element. The car was bought for them and they clearly appreciate it.

Kaitlin took and sent the picture using her iPhone while riding to Ann Arbor, Michigan from the Chicago area. The four of them, including Torben, make the drive every weekend when there is a home game for the University of Michigan. His family lives in Ann Arbor, and they’re all loyal Michigan fans.

So why the new car for the dogs? They had been making the trip in their hybrid Honda Civic, which has great gas mileage but is a crowded for the dogs. They wanted to wait to buy a bigger car, but Banshee became deathly ill a few weeks before the first game this season and had to have extensive surgery…she lost part of her pancreas, stomach and intestines and the vet thought she was going to die. But she’s a tough lady and seems to have recovered. Because of her wounds she couldn’t make the drive (five hours or more each way) in the crowded Civic. It was a matter of renting a bigger car for the games, or buying a new car now.

Honda CRV

Honda Element

So the Saturday before the opening game I received a phone call from Kaitlin. She and Torben were getting lunch before deciding which car to buy. They had narrowed it down to the Honda CVR and the Honda Element. They were having trouble deciding so she phoned to get a different perspective. Kaitlin told me the pros and cons of each: the CRV had slightly better gas mileage and looked a lot nicer but it wasn’t as roomy. So, wonders of modern technology, she had me go to the Honda website and look at both models. The available CRV was dark blue, the Element gray, and the site let me pick the color of each car. I brought each one up in its own window and switched back and forth while we talked about it. The more we talked the more clear the answer became… they were buying the car for Sammy and Banshee and the visibility and extra room in the Element made it the better choice.

Families can be expensive, but as you can see from Sammy and Banshee’s picture, they can also be priceless. I was grateful that Kaitlin included me in the discussion. She’s an extremely capable woman, and it was generous of her to share the process. It’s another way of keeping connected and building family memories. Thank you, Kaitlin!

There has been an excess of bad news this week, so I’m grateful to the friend who told me about this piece: I Rescued A Human Today, by Janine Allen*. It lifted my spirits and renewed my hope for the world.

I rescued a human today.

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn’t be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t been walked today. Sometimes the overworked shelter keepers get too busy and I didn’t want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn’t feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone’s life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.

I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven’t walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.

Once when Barbara Walters interviewed Truman Capote she asked him if he were ever bored. He answered,

No because I’m terribly curious. It’s very hard for me to get bored….

Does that quote resonate with you at all? It sure does with me… it strikes a chord deep in my being. I wouldn’t say I never get bored, but I actively avoid getting in situations where that happens (unless it’s for a good cause). I was seriously depressed when I was a child because I was bored out of my mind, and I never want to go there again. That means being proactive, understanding the optimal amount of challenge I need in my life and providing it for myself.
 

How do I do that? My challenges are mostly mental and spiritual:

• I love to solve problems,
• I love trying to understand how the human mind works,
• And I’ve known since I was a late teen that my mission in life was to understand what makes people happy and to make my small corner of the world a happier and friendlier place.

That’s a modest enough goal… no dreaming big for me… but it’s been enough to keep me challenged and fully engaged in life. It works for me, and I’m grateful.

Mental Training

I majored in physics at Stanford University, and in upper level classes there were always one or two problems in the weekly homework that couldn’t be solved logically. Just knowing the material wasn’t enough. Your mind had to make a creative leap before the answer came. It was a frustrating way of operating, to be stumbling in the dark, with no control over the results. All I could do was play around with the problem… to give my subconscious mind a chance to work on it… and hope for the best. The answer invariably did come… usually in the middle of the night before the homework was due… but, oh, Lord, was it a crazy way to live. I would drop off to sleep, then wake up with an idea, get up and check the math to see if the idea worked, see that it didn’t, go back to sleep until the next idea woke me up, and repeat the process until the answer finally came.

On the plus side,

• I’ve been grateful ever since that I never have to go through that again.
• I’ve never had trouble getting an interesting job, my main motivation for choosing that major.
• And I became fascinated by how the human mind works, especially how it makes creative leaps.

Living Deeply and Creatively

I was much more interested in creative problem solving than in physics, so professionally I used my training to design software for scientific research. Whenever I could I took projects that other people didn’t know how to do, ones that required insight, a different way of looking at things. There was pressure, of course, because I didn’t know how to solve the problems either, and there were deadlines. But part of the challenge was to learn how to handle that pressure well, to learn to calm my body while my subconscious mind was working on the answer. I’ll talk more about this in a future post. The important thing is I was integrating my professional skills with my true love… how to create a happy, fulfilling life.

When I talk about happiness I don’t mean never having problems to deal with with, never having setbacks and losses to mourn. For me it’s more a matter of being fully engaged in life, of following my basic philosophy:

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.

My Favorite Toy

Picture Taker 2 Creative Commons license.

Those of us interested in personal development are living in a great time… we have a multitude of techniques at our disposal. I’ve already written about some of my favorites. But more important than individual tools and skills is the attitude of curiosity and playfulness…of being open to new ways of seeing and doing things. For me that means not identifying with everything I think and feel, but being able to stand back at times to notice how my brain works. By standing back and paying attention, I’m free to make changes if that would work better for me. And to make those changes I have to be in tune with my subconscious mind…that’s the powerhouse for me. I’ve spent years feeding it information relevant to my questions and trusting it to find answers for me. And when I’m successful in making changes, that’s the part of my mind that does the work of changing my automatic habits.

So, thanks to my brain, I’m seldom bored in life. And because I work best in a spirit of playfulness, it’s not too much to say my brain is my favorite toy.

What about you? What makes you feel fully alive? What keeps you from being bored?

Picture from Stanford 2008 Commencement video.

Feelings, failure and finding happiness…that was the topic of Oprah Winfrey’s 2008 Commencement Address at Stanford. Not surprisingly, the talk was both entertaining and inspiring…I heartily recommend either watching the video or reading the transcript. The speech resonated with me because she makes the Cheerful Monk motto come to life:

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens, keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.

Feelings As Our Inner GPS
Oprah first talked about feelings…our inner guidance system, our GPS. She told how when she first started out in broadcasting she tried to emulate Barbara Walters, but it didn’t feel right. It wasn’t until she was fired as co-anchor of the 6 o’clock news and placed on a talk show that her mission in life clicked…she felt at home…this was what she was meant to do.

What do we do when we don’t know what our mission is? …”get still, get very still, until you do know what to do.” That’s not intuitive advice for someone raised in our fast-paced, action-oriented society, but it’s powerful and effective. It reminds me of my favorite time-management book: How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life by Alan Lakein. It was written 25 years ago and its basic advice still rings true: keep asking yourself, “What’s the best use of my time right now?” If that question doesn’t connect you with your inner drive, then you need to figure out what you really care about in life. You need to connect with your passion. I agree with Oprah and Lakein, goals are fine, but only when we’re tuned into our inner motivation. Once we’ve done that, we don’t have to force ourself to work. As Oprah puts it, “So…forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. Everybody has one. Trust your heart and success will come to you.”

Dealing With Failure, Finding Happiness
The other two points she talked about, dealing with failure and finding happiness, involve learning from your mistakes and using your gifts to give service to others. Again, she uses examples from her own life…the problems encountered pursuing her dream of teaching girls to be leaders…as well as from the lives of Jane and Leland Stanford. Stanford’s official name is Leland Stanford Junior University. Jane and Leland Stanford founded the university in memory of their only child, who died of typhoid at the age of 15. They didn’t let their grief cut them off from life. Instead they used it as motivation to reach out and help others. And that, for Oprah, is the secret of dealing with setbacks, disappointments and grief…and it’s the secret of happiness: “Don’t live for yourself alone….To be happy, you have to give something back.”

I clearly agree with Oprah. I believe what she’s saying is age-old wisdom, well-tested by time. I also believe it never hurts to hear it again. And I believe it’s especially powerful when we not only hear the words but hear the stories of people, famous and not-so-famous, who have lived those principles.

What about you? What stories do you have to share? Please tell us in the comments section.

Идея за подарък

I kept quitting in the face of adversity until I found something I loved doing, after which point all obstacles became surmountable.
—Jim Buckmeister, CEO of Craigslist

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
–Calvin to Hobbes

If it ain’t easy, it’s impossible.
—Anonymous

In The Courage to Be Confused. The Courage to Be Patient, yesterday’s post at Transforming Stress, I mentioned that I’m in the process of going into the guts of my themes so I can convert them from three columns to two. No doubt about it..it’s a messy and time-consuming business.

Why am I doing it? Because I want to. I do think three columns is a bit crowded, but the real reason is to become more adept at writing web pages and building blogs. That’s been on my Possibility List for a long time, and I even accumulated a stack of reference books to help. But I work best when I have a project of my own to do, and redesigning my layout is just the incentive I needed.

So suddenly it’s a fun thing to do. I’m not foolish enough to try to do it on my regular sites, so I set up WordPress at another of my domains, creativityandjoy.com, where I can play to my heart’s content. And it is play because I’m having fun trying things as I unravel the mystery of all those funny lines of CSS and PHP, e.g.,
 

?* A CSS example */
#content{line-height:1.4em;
      margin:0 155px 5px;padding:0;}
#contentwide{line-height:1.6em;
      margin:0 0 5px 150px;padding:0;}
#content h2,#contentwide h2{font-size:1.3em;
         margin:0 0 10px;color:#185dac;line-height:1.2em}
#content h3, #contentwide h3{font-size:1.4em;margin:0 0 8px;}
#content img,#contentwide img{border:1px solid #d0d0d0;
   float:left;margin:3px 10px 3px 0;}

It reminds me of a summer many years ago when I taught myself some beginning Greek. I still remember the thrill when all of those little squiggles actually made some sense. Talk about living in a magical world.

I’m still a little kid at heart…I learn best by playing. What about you? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Shilpan, and Darren for comments on last week’s post.