Entries Tagged 'Living Fully' ↓

exfordy. Creative Commons license.
 

exfordy. Creative Commons license.
 

exfordy. Creative Commons license.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.
—J.K. Rowling, in her 2008 Commencement Address at Harvard University

I like challenges. I figure getting into situations which stretch my mind and my resourcefulness is like going to the gym every other day to use the weight machines…it’s just a part of keeping fit. In this rapidly changing world we’re bound to encounter new circumstances to deal with, and our best security is to keep developing our skills. That attitude of lifelong learning is also a great way to feed our souls… to keep feeling fully alive. The trick is to find something that grabs our attention…something challenging enough to give us a feeling of accomplishment, but not so much of a stretch that it feels overwhelming.

That last part has been the real challenge for me the past few weeks. Looking at WordPress templates and style sheets was intimidating until I realized it was just like learning a foreign language. I lived in Germany for six months and France for thirteen, so I’ve had experience with jumping into a new environment with limited knowledge. Some basic grammar and vocabulary is enough to get started. Then a good dictionary, a willingness to learn, and a lot of resourcefulness can turn the situation into an adventure.

So that’s been my approach to revising my WordPress themes. I still have a lot to learn, and I’m certain to run into new problems/”learning opportunities”, but I can do a lot more than I could two weeks ago, and I no longer feel lost. I now have some basic knowledge to build on.

What about you? What are the challenges in your life right now? What are you learning from them? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Shilpan, Darren, David, Rachel and Adebola for comments on last week’s post.

 
 
ChinchillaVilla. Creative Commons license.
 
 

 
 
Aggarwal_Gopal. Creative Commons license.
 
 

 
 
WoofBC. Creative Commons license.

I kept quitting in the face of adversity until I found something I loved doing, after which point all obstacles became surmountable.
—Jim Buckmeister, CEO of Craigslist

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
–Calvin to Hobbes

If it ain’t easy, it’s impossible.
—Anonymous

In The Courage to Be Confused. The Courage to Be Patient, yesterday’s post at Transforming Stress, I mentioned that I’m in the process of going into the guts of my themes so I can convert them from three columns to two. No doubt about it..it’s a messy and time-consuming business.

Why am I doing it? Because I want to. I do think three columns is a bit crowded, but the real reason is to become more adept at writing web pages and building blogs. That’s been on my Possibility List for a long time, and I even accumulated a stack of reference books to help. But I work best when I have a project of my own to do, and redesigning my layout is just the incentive I needed.

So suddenly it’s a fun thing to do. I’m not foolish enough to try to do it on my regular sites, so I set up WordPress at another of my domains, creativityandjoy.com, where I can play to my heart’s content. And it is play because I’m having fun trying things as I unravel the mystery of all those funny lines of CSS and PHP, e.g.,
 

?* A CSS example */
#content{line-height:1.4em;
      margin:0 155px 5px;padding:0;}
#contentwide{line-height:1.6em;
      margin:0 0 5px 150px;padding:0;}
#content h2,#contentwide h2{font-size:1.3em;
         margin:0 0 10px;color:#185dac;line-height:1.2em}
#content h3, #contentwide h3{font-size:1.4em;margin:0 0 8px;}
#content img,#contentwide img{border:1px solid #d0d0d0;
   float:left;margin:3px 10px 3px 0;}

It reminds me of a summer many years ago when I taught myself some beginning Greek. I still remember the thrill when all of those little squiggles actually made some sense. Talk about living in a magical world.

I’m still a little kid at heart…I learn best by playing. What about you? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Shilpan, and Darren for comments on last week’s post.

expresso marco. Creative Commons license.

arbejde–work (Danish)
glæde–happiness (Danish)
arbejdsglæde–happiness at work (Danish)

Alexander Kjerulf, Chief Happiness Officer, recently wrote a post entitled Of Brits and Danes and Happiness at Work. Alex tells us the Nordic languages, Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish and Icelandic, have a word for happiness at work, but English doesn’t. This fact corresponds to what he noticed when he was working in England recently…the British attitude towards work is completely different from the Danish one. Britons don’t expect to be happy at work, Danes do. Britons don’t value happiness at work, Danes do. So it’s no wonder that a recent University of Cambridge study on happiness concluded that the Danes are the happiest people in Europe, while the British rated 9th.

And, Alex points out, not only are the British less happy, they also work longer hours and are less productive than the Danes. How crazy is that? So Alex issues this challenge to “British companies, managers and employees everywhere”:

Amen to that, I say! It usually takes a lot of effort and patience…it’s sometimes scary…but I can’t conceive of wasting my life feeling trapped in a job I hate. What about you? How do you feel about work? Do you think it’s something that should bring you joy? If so, what are you doing, or have you done, about it? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Robin, David, Shilpan, Shamelle, and Darren for comments on last week’s post.

Related posts: Live Your Own Life, It’s a Magical World.

Related articles on Danes and Happiness: You can be as happy as a Dane, Why Danes are smug.

Photo by hangdog. Creative Commons license.
 

Photo by hangdog. Creative Commons license.

A woman, I’ll call her “Joan”, from our local Friends of the Shelter sent a delightful message to the group the other day. She gave an update on the beautiful Rottweiler puppy she adopted from the shelter last November. He’s now a beautiful 60-pound nine-month-old. He’s a wonderful addition to the family…calm, playful, people-oriented and dog-friendly.

He has just one little issue…he wants to be the boss of someone, and he’s chosen her. He wants to tell her when he wants to play and to be fed, and if she doesn’t do what she wants, he chews on her foot, jumps on her and nips. Just a little issue.

And, in fact, the behavioral specialist she took him to says it’s probably easily cured. Don’t scold him or get into a battle of wills. Just quietly take him into another room, preferably with one of his favorite toys, and give him a time out for a bit. He already gets plenty of attention, and reacting to him is positive reinforcement. She’s been trying it and is having good results. And she’s wisely doing that now, when he’s “only” 60 pounds, before he’s full-grown.

Lessons Learned?
So what can we learn from this? For me it’s to remember to keep things in perspective. To remember that we don’t have to be perfect to be lovable. If we’re acting in ways we don’t like, don’t turn it into a moral matter. Just figure out what the payoff for the behavior is, and find a healthier way of satisfying that need. In the Rottweiler’s case, it’s to show him he’s more apt to get attention if he doesn’t try to dominate the woman. For me the big problem years ago was eating junk food, as well as too much of the healthy stuff. The solution wasn’t to mentally beat myself up, it was to find activities that I loved even more than eating. As long as I was dieting I kept thinking about food. The solution was to do something else instead. And a big part of the process was to refuse to stop loving myself just because I had a little issue. Staying loving and nonjudgmental is powerful.

What about you? Have you ever changed some unwanted behaviors? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Daz, Shauna, Robert and Robin for commenting on last week’s post.

I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality….
–Joseph Campbell in “The Power of Myth”

Last week I talked about how I stayed up until 3 a.m. taking pictures of my stuffed bear. Even though it seemed a bit crazy at the time, taking the pictures was feeding my soul, so I immersed myself in the process. I now have an idea of why the final picture resonated so deeply. It reminded me of my daughter when she was a newborn. The picture on the left was taken when she was a few months old, but the big eyes and attentive look was the same. And so was the open mouth, as if she were about to say something. I spent a lot of time talking to her when she was little. And even before her eyes could completely focus, she was trying to make that connection. Oh, Lord, that does bring back memories of one of the most profound periods of my life.

She and Torben got married last weekend, and I write a little about the wedding in yesterday’s post at Transforming Stress. I’ll always treasure that time, too. I’ve never been a proud mother, because I’ve never thought of her as “my” daughter. I’ve always thought of her as a separate person that I’ve been privileged to have in my life. It’s an honor to be related to two such wonderful people.

What about you? What touches your heart and stirs your soul? Please share your experiences in the comment section.

Thanks to Shilpan, bikehikebabe, Daz and David for commenting on last week’s post.

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
–Robin Williams

I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality….
–Joseph Campbell in “The Power of Myth”

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
–Calvin to Hobbes

I hesitate to tell you how long I spent taking the above picture for last week’s post. I had the post written by a reasonable hour, and it could have been a nice conclusion to a productive day. All I needed was a simple illustration for the text.

Instead I took picture after picture, varying the lighting, pose and camera angle. From time to time I downloaded the pictures to my computer and noticed what resonated and what didn’t. When I first started getting involved, the “rational” part of my mind said, “This is crazy. The picture you have is plenty good enough. Just let it go and get a good night’s sleep.” And a soft inner voice replied, “Yes, what you say makes sense. It is crazy. I’m doing it anyway, and you can’t stop me.” Once I get in that situation I don’t fight myself. I open myself to the experience.

I ended up going to bed about 3 a.m.

Was that really the best use of my time? When babies lie in their crib experimenting with making sounds, is that a waste of their time? Or when they start exploring their hands and feet, being completely open to the miracle of movement, is that a waste of time? I think not. And I believe that feeling of fascination and discovery shouldn’t be reserved for children. I personally regard that state as sacred space, when one forgets about time and is completely immersed in the present moment. So what if I got to bed late and slept in the next morning? It was a small price to pay for feeding my soul. Sure it was crazy, and I agree with Robin Williams, we’re only given a little spark of madness. We mustn’t lose it.

What about you? Do you have a spark of madness that makes you feel more alive, that lets you slip into sacred space? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, David, Daz and Shilpan for commenting on last week’s post.

 
ChinchillaVilla. Creative Commons license.

He never grew up; but he never stopped growing.
—Arthur C. Clarke, epitaph for himself

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens, keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.
—Cheerful Monk

The truth of the matter is, I’m a playful, exuberant puppy at heart. Last week I said I was feeling a bit tense so I experimented with smiling, bouncing on my jogging trampoline, and singing. I said I would tell you if I remembered to keep doing it. The answer is a resounding yes. As I mentioned in What Are Your Stress Secrets at Transforming Stress, I also experimented with laughing and dancing.

And I did talk out loud quite a bit. I got out my teddy bear (a cuddly 27″ long) and hugged, talked to and danced with him. I hadn’t done that in years. It was energizing and liberating.

Yes, it was incredibly silly and non-grown-up. And I had a great time, learned a lot, and got a lot done. I’m sticking with Arthur C. Clarke. Never grow up, and never stop growing.

What about you? Do you believe in growing up, or do you, too, reap the joys of being silly? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to David, Daz, Robert, Gloria, and Shilpan for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
rmansoorian. Creative Commons license.

Self-talk is not that different from a thermostat. It’s one of the ways we monitor ourselves, control impulses and guide actions.
—Tom Brinthaupt, Psychology Professor

When we’re babies we talk to ourselves. We start with sounds, then move onto inflections and rhythms of speech. And while we’re doing it, we’re entranced by the sound of our own voice…it’s one of our first toys. But as we grow up…go to school… learn to interact appropriately with other people, we’re taught to keep quiet…most of the time, at least.

So I don’t know about you, but most of my adult self-talk has been internal. I often have a lively dialog going on, but the mute button is definitely pressed. That made sense when I was working with other people, but I work alone a lot of the time now, and I’ve been thinking of talking out loud more. From what I’ve read, it can be as effective as journaling for keeping in touch with yourself. And it has the advantage that you can move around and do routine chores while you’re talking. But after the millions of words I’ve written in my free-association journal, it’s been hard to make the switch.

Until now, that is.

Why the sudden change?
I recently read Jared Sandburg’s From Crib to Cubicle, A Familiar Voice –Our Own– Reassures. In it Sandburg says as many as 96% of people working in a cubicle environment talk to themselves out loud. That talking may be a nuisance to others, but it also helps keep the talkers on track. It helps them tune out distractions and keeps them focused on their goals. He also says they’re more apt to talk aloud when things go wrong…it’s like having their own friendly guide helping them. One airline pilot even envisioned an imaginary guide sitting in the jump seat behind him, ready to give advice when problems came up. And in a comment to last week’s post at Transforming Stress, bikehikebabe said when she’s tired she finishes her exercises by talking herself through them.

That made a lot of sense. My way of handling a problem is more to gather information or to go off and think and write about it, depending on the type of problem. But when I thought about it, I realized I do miss not talking more. Some of the happiest moments in my life were when my daughter was a baby and I talked to her a lot. She loved it, and it lifted my spirits. And, strange as it sounds, I love talking to the dogs over at the local shelter. Again, they love the attention and the talking is fun for me. Those two situations are similar in that the words don’t matter. Babies and dogs tune into the nonverbal, the tone of voice and the facial expression. And for me it was hearing the cheerful, reassuring voice and the physical act of smiling that lifted my spirits. Hey, I can do that without an audience. So yesterday I experimented with smiling, bouncing on my jogging trampoline, and singing. That definitely worked for me!

A new technique for the toolbox
The interesting thing is I’ve been a bit nervous lately because we’re about to go on a trip and have also just bought our first Mac. Those are both fun things, but a lot to think about. And last night when I was trying to concentrate, my husband kept interrupting because he needed help with something. So I thought of those cubicle workers who face this all of the time, and I started cheerfully talking to myself. “Let’s help him get what he needs so that will be finished, then you can get back to what you were doing. You have plenty of time.” It really worked, and I now have a new mood-lifting/stress-management tool that I can use any time I choose. I will let you know next week if I’ve remembered to do that!

What about you? Do you ever talk to yourself? If so, when do you do it and how does it work for you? Do you ever sing for the sheer joy of it? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Brian, Shilpan, David, bikehikebabe, Robert, Evelyn, and Daz for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
The Daily Puppy.
 
 

 
 
Elfleda. Creative Commons license.
 
 

 
 
marymactavish. Creative Commons license.

The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds.
—William James

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
—Calvin to Hobbes

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing.
—The Cheerful Monk

So, how do we keep learning and growing? My husband and I get several newspapers and numerous magazines, including Science and Science News, to keep our world view relatively broad. But my greatest growth comes not from information about the physical world, but from caring about people with views and experience different from mine.

As Ellen commented in The Power of Listening, mindfulness is “an alert witnessing of reality without judgment, attachment, fear, expectation, defensiveness, bias, or control.” And we have chances to practice that every day in our interactions with other people. All we have to do to get out of our little mental boxes is to open our hearts and expand our minds. We will never be perfect at it, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.

What about you? How do you keep learning and growing? How do you open yourself up to life? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Robert, Ellen, bikehikebabe, Shilpan, Michael, Karen and Darren for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
2-dog-farm. Creative Commons license.
 

 
 
Haruko, the goat in the picture, loves to play king/queen of the mountain. (See video.)  And presumably Viverati is designed for people who want to be special, to feel superior to others. Some people are clearly motivated by that, but it’s not my style. We can see from the video that Haruko is having a great time, but no more than the ducks and the dog are. I actually identify more with the dog…I, too, have my moments of delight in just being alive.

 
 
alpinemeadows. Creative Commons license.

But if I had to be an animal, I would like to be a search and rescue dog…they, too, get to the tops of mountains. And they do it with friends, have a great time, and make a contribution in the process. That, to me, is the way to live. For their video, click here.

What about you? How do you live your life to the max? Do you believe that “common” sucks?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Todd, Noa, and Daz for comments to the last post.

Robert at Reason-4-Smile has a related post: Ten symptoms of having vision beyond yourself. In it he quotes from Wikipedia about self-actualizing people:

 
That’s just the opposite of “breaking away from the sheeple“. It’s following your own path without disparaging people who live their lives differently.