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Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.
—AnonymousThe greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen.
—Anonymous
When my daughter was about four months old I was working 10 hours a week, and a neighbor babysat when I was at work. It usually was a good thing for everyone. The neighbor had little children who loved Kaitlin, and she was a gregarious baby who loved the interaction. But one day she was tired and unhappy when she got home. She was quiet, but she looked miserable. I had her in my arms and asked sympathetically, “Oh, did you have a bad day? Tell me about it.” She looked up, wrinkled her brow and said, “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.”
Then she stopped, knowing full well that people take turns in conversations, so I said, “Tell me more.” She answered, “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.” Just then my husband came out of the bathroom (he had worked most of the night and had just gotten up), so I said, “Tell Father.” She looked at him and told her story again: “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.” Then she looked back at me, and I told her, “I’m sorry you had a bad day.” She sighed and dropped off to sleep in my arms.
It helps when people care enough to listen.
I personally think listening is one of the best ways of showing love. What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
Thanks to Maria, Karen, bikehikebabe, Robert and Noa for commenting on last week’s post.
Thanks also to Chat Chatterton for giving me some updates on the story of Major Brian Dennis and Nubs, which we mentioned in The Need to Love. To see a video of Nubs’ arrival in San Diego click here. For articles about Major Dennis’ return and his reunion with Nubs, click here and here.
Oh mya, mya I’ve never heard a sweeter story. Glad to read more about Nubs too.
Mother told me everyone liked Aunt Ava because she was a GOOD LISTENER.
Jean, that definitely is a beautiful story, thanks for sharing!
I totally agree listening is one of the best ways to show someone you love them, appreciate them, and with that, value their opinion and feelings..
One of the difficulties my loved one and I do encounter on a regular basis however, is the ‘art’ of truly listening.. Not to hear what you want to hear, or think you are hearing..not to fill in the blanks with your own opinion, or interpretation based on previous discussion (or arguments).
I recently tried to write about it in a post (Empty your Tea Cup, Open Your Mind) on my own blog:
“Try to imagine what our closest relationships would be like. If we would see our loved ones again without the pain or fear inflicted from previous arguments, or even previous relationships. As David Richo defined it in Mindful Loving:
We can increase our capacity to give and receive the essential elements of love through mindfulness, an alert witnessing of reality without judgement, attachment, fear, expectation, defensiveness, bias, or control.”
To me, it’s a continuous challenge to indeed be that good listener, but one worth trying!
A picture speaks a thousand words – isn’t that the saying?
the pictures that you have added to this entry are wonderful.
one can only imagine the intensity of the conversation on both sides – especially the attentiveness of the listener.
(I love the picture of the sculpture – such intensity )
Ellen,
I agree, learning to truly listen and appreciate another person without judgment is well worth practicing. To me it’s a spiritual exercise. When I was learning to do it with my husband I found that writing in my journal was invaluable. It’s an enriching experience.
I’ve just started to watch DVDs of the TV series “As Time Goes By”. It warms my heart because of the love and acceptance in it. So many movies and programs are about young love…I’ll take mature love any day.
Pauline,
🙂 I’m glad you love those pictures too…they warm my heart and tickle my funny bone. The sculpture especially goes straight to my heart, and I’m grateful not only to the sculptor and photographer but to whomever was responsible for commissioning it as public art in Calgary. It speaks well for that city, in my humble opinion.
Hi Jean, very touching message… Wonderful experience =)
Thanks for sharing. Listening is indeed important… Here is an interesting quote!
“If nature intended us to talk more than listen, it would have given us two mouths and one ear”
Cheers,
Robert
Robert,
🙂 Thanks!
I am always so proud of my 2 yr old niece when she is polite, and other times too! Yes, listening is so very important. Nice post!
Daz,
I agree, little children warm my heart when they’re polite. Not all of them are taught that.
Jean,
Concise yet powerful story to stress need for listening. It does not matter if it’s personal or professional life, listening is a must virtue if one desires to succeed. I have a related article on customer service. I am in hotel business and I can tell that listening is one of the greatest skills that you need to succeed in that business.
http://www.successsoul.com/2008/03/24/7-tips-to-create-loyal-customers/
I just subscribed to you blog.
Thanks
Shilpan