cheerfulmonk.com

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
–Robin Williams

I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality….
–Joseph Campbell in “The Power of Myth”

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
–Calvin to Hobbes

I hesitate to tell you how long I spent taking the above picture for last week’s post. I had the post written by a reasonable hour, and it could have been a nice conclusion to a productive day. All I needed was a simple illustration for the text.

Instead I took picture after picture, varying the lighting, pose and camera angle. From time to time I downloaded the pictures to my computer and noticed what resonated and what didn’t. When I first started getting involved, the “rational” part of my mind said, “This is crazy. The picture you have is plenty good enough. Just let it go and get a good night’s sleep.” And a soft inner voice replied, “Yes, what you say makes sense. It is crazy. I’m doing it anyway, and you can’t stop me.” Once I get in that situation I don’t fight myself. I open myself to the experience.

I ended up going to bed about 3 a.m.

Was that really the best use of my time? When babies lie in their crib experimenting with making sounds, is that a waste of their time? Or when they start exploring their hands and feet, being completely open to the miracle of movement, is that a waste of time? I think not. And I believe that feeling of fascination and discovery shouldn’t be reserved for children. I personally regard that state as sacred space, when one forgets about time and is completely immersed in the present moment. So what if I got to bed late and slept in the next morning? It was a small price to pay for feeding my soul. Sure it was crazy, and I agree with Robin Williams, we’re only given a little spark of madness. We mustn’t lose it.

What about you? Do you have a spark of madness that makes you feel more alive, that lets you slip into sacred space? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, David, Daz and Shilpan for commenting on last week’s post.

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ChinchillaVilla. Creative Commons license.

He never grew up; but he never stopped growing.
—Arthur C. Clarke, epitaph for himself

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens, keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.
—Cheerful Monk

The truth of the matter is, I’m a playful, exuberant puppy at heart. Last week I said I was feeling a bit tense so I experimented with smiling, bouncing on my jogging trampoline, and singing. I said I would tell you if I remembered to keep doing it. The answer is a resounding yes. As I mentioned in What Are Your Stress Secrets at Transforming Stress, I also experimented with laughing and dancing.

And I did talk out loud quite a bit. I got out my teddy bear (a cuddly 27″ long) and hugged, talked to and danced with him. I hadn’t done that in years. It was energizing and liberating.

Yes, it was incredibly silly and non-grown-up. And I had a great time, learned a lot, and got a lot done. I’m sticking with Arthur C. Clarke. Never grow up, and never stop growing.

What about you? Do you believe in growing up, or do you, too, reap the joys of being silly? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to David, Daz, Robert, Gloria, and Shilpan for commenting on last week’s post.

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rmansoorian. Creative Commons license.

Self-talk is not that different from a thermostat. It’s one of the ways we monitor ourselves, control impulses and guide actions.
—Tom Brinthaupt, Psychology Professor

When we’re babies we talk to ourselves. We start with sounds, then move onto inflections and rhythms of speech. And while we’re doing it, we’re entranced by the sound of our own voice…it’s one of our first toys. But as we grow up…go to school… learn to interact appropriately with other people, we’re taught to keep quiet…most of the time, at least.

So I don’t know about you, but most of my adult self-talk has been internal. I often have a lively dialog going on, but the mute button is definitely pressed. That made sense when I was working with other people, but I work alone a lot of the time now, and I’ve been thinking of talking out loud more. From what I’ve read, it can be as effective as journaling for keeping in touch with yourself. And it has the advantage that you can move around and do routine chores while you’re talking. But after the millions of words I’ve written in my free-association journal, it’s been hard to make the switch.

Until now, that is.

Why the sudden change?
I recently read Jared Sandburg’s From Crib to Cubicle, A Familiar Voice –Our Own– Reassures. In it Sandburg says as many as 96% of people working in a cubicle environment talk to themselves out loud. That talking may be a nuisance to others, but it also helps keep the talkers on track. It helps them tune out distractions and keeps them focused on their goals. He also says they’re more apt to talk aloud when things go wrong…it’s like having their own friendly guide helping them. One airline pilot even envisioned an imaginary guide sitting in the jump seat behind him, ready to give advice when problems came up. And in a comment to last week’s post at Transforming Stress, bikehikebabe said when she’s tired she finishes her exercises by talking herself through them.

That made a lot of sense. My way of handling a problem is more to gather information or to go off and think and write about it, depending on the type of problem. But when I thought about it, I realized I do miss not talking more. Some of the happiest moments in my life were when my daughter was a baby and I talked to her a lot. She loved it, and it lifted my spirits. And, strange as it sounds, I love talking to the dogs over at the local shelter. Again, they love the attention and the talking is fun for me. Those two situations are similar in that the words don’t matter. Babies and dogs tune into the nonverbal, the tone of voice and the facial expression. And for me it was hearing the cheerful, reassuring voice and the physical act of smiling that lifted my spirits. Hey, I can do that without an audience. So yesterday I experimented with smiling, bouncing on my jogging trampoline, and singing. That definitely worked for me!

A new technique for the toolbox
The interesting thing is I’ve been a bit nervous lately because we’re about to go on a trip and have also just bought our first Mac. Those are both fun things, but a lot to think about. And last night when I was trying to concentrate, my husband kept interrupting because he needed help with something. So I thought of those cubicle workers who face this all of the time, and I started cheerfully talking to myself. “Let’s help him get what he needs so that will be finished, then you can get back to what you were doing. You have plenty of time.” It really worked, and I now have a new mood-lifting/stress-management tool that I can use any time I choose. I will let you know next week if I’ve remembered to do that!

What about you? Do you ever talk to yourself? If so, when do you do it and how does it work for you? Do you ever sing for the sheer joy of it? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Brian, Shilpan, David, bikehikebabe, Robert, Evelyn, and Daz for commenting on last week’s post.

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The Daily Puppy.
 
 

Elfleda. Creative Commons license.
 
 
marymactavish. Creative Commons license.

The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds.
—William James

It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!
—Calvin to Hobbes

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing.
—The Cheerful Monk

So, how do we keep learning and growing? My husband and I get several newspapers and numerous magazines, including Science and Science News, to keep our world view relatively broad. But my greatest growth comes not from information about the physical world, but from caring about people with views and experience different from mine.

As Ellen commented in The Power of Listening, mindfulness is “an alert witnessing of reality without judgment, attachment, fear, expectation, defensiveness, bias, or control.” And we have chances to practice that every day in our interactions with other people. All we have to do to get out of our little mental boxes is to open our hearts and expand our minds. We will never be perfect at it, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.

What about you? How do you keep learning and growing? How do you open yourself up to life? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Robert, Ellen, bikehikebabe, Shilpan, Michael, Karen and Darren for commenting on last week’s post.

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2-dog-farm. Creative Commons license.
 

 
 
Haruko, the goat in the picture, loves to play king/queen of the mountain. (See video.)  And presumably Viverati is designed for people who want to be special, to feel superior to others. Some people are clearly motivated by that, but it’s not my style. We can see from the video that Haruko is having a great time, but no more than the ducks and the dog are. I actually identify more with the dog…I, too, have my moments of delight in just being alive.

alpinemeadows. Creative Commons license.

But if I had to be an animal, I would like to be a search and rescue dog…they, too, get to the tops of mountains. And they do it with friends, have a great time, and make a contribution in the process. That, to me, is the way to live. For their video, click here.

What about you? How do you live your life to the max? Do you believe that “common” sucks?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Todd, Noa, and Daz for comments to the last post.

Robert at Reason-4-Smile has a related post: Ten symptoms of having vision beyond yourself. In it he quotes from Wikipedia about self-actualizing people:

 
That’s just the opposite of “breaking away from the sheeple“. It’s following your own path without disparaging people who live their lives differently.
 
 

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limonada. Creative Commons license.

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in.
—Alan Alda

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing.
—Cheerful Monk

Bertrand Russell, on the other hand, had a completely different different point of view:
We all live in a dream. The fortunate person never wakes up. Basically he was saying, Ignorance is bliss…if you’re lucky.

Janet 59. Creative Commons.
 
 

sean dreilinger. Creative Commons.

I cheerfully admit, I’m not one of the “lucky” ones. I’m more like a bird crashing into a window because she doesn’t even see it’s there. The best I can do when that happens is take a bit of time to recover my wits, then go flying off again, learning as much as I can from the experience.

Isn’t that a bit grim for Cheerful Monk? I think not. Just because life is imperfect doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it. And “enjoy” is an active verb. It doesn’t mean just taking pleasure in the good fortune that comes our way, although that is important. It also means taking action to create joy in our lives. I try to do that by making a commitment to curiosity, lifelong learning, love and compassion, and humility and humor. What about you? What is your life like? What do you do to create joy in it?

Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

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Thanks to bikehikebabe, Ellen, Pauline, Robert and Daz for commenting on last week’s post.

Thanks also to Noa Rose for the Alan Alda quote.

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kool_skatcat. Creative Commons license.
 

jurek d. Creative Commons license.
 

MicheKerr. Creative Commons license.

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.
—Anonymous

The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen.
—Anonymous

When my daughter was about four months old I was working 10 hours a week, and a neighbor babysat when I was at work. It usually was a good thing for everyone. The neighbor had little children who loved Kaitlin, and she was a gregarious baby who loved the interaction. But one day she was tired and unhappy when she got home. She was quiet, but she looked miserable. I had her in my arms and asked sympathetically, “Oh, did you have a bad day? Tell me about it.” She looked up, wrinkled her brow and said, “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.”

Then she stopped, knowing full well that people take turns in conversations, so I said, “Tell me more.” She answered, “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.” Just then my husband came out of the bathroom (he had worked most of the night and had just gotten up), so I said, “Tell Father.” She looked at him and told her story again: “A mya mya mya mya mya mya mya mya maa.” Then she looked back at me, and I told her, “I’m sorry you had a bad day.” She sighed and dropped off to sleep in my arms.

It helps when people care enough to listen.

I personally think listening is one of the best ways of showing love. What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to Maria, Karen, bikehikebabe, Robert and Noa for commenting on last week’s post.

 
 
Thanks also to Chat Chatterton for giving me some updates on the story of Major Brian Dennis and Nubs, which we mentioned in The Need to Love. To see a video of Nubs’ arrival in San Diego click here. For articles about Major Dennis’ return and his reunion with Nubs, click here and here.

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Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.
—Heraclitus

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
—Ernest Hemingway

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. That’s my favorite mantra when I try something new. It quiets my inner critic and gives me the freedom to experiment and learn new things without worrying about being judged.

For instance, when I first started writing an inner voice would say, “What makes you think you can write? Why would anyone want to read anything of yours?” The only solution for me was to get my ego out of the way and write in the spirit of sharing. It doesn’t matter if my writing is “good” or “bad”. The important question is, “Is it honest?” Does it accurately express one person’s way of experiencing the world? Maybe some people will be judgmental, but that’s not my problem. My job is simply to play my part well…to immerse myself in the process and leave the rest to the gods.

It reminds me of a child going with his mother to meet the teacher he would be having in his new school. During the visit he looked at the pictures on the walls and asked, “Who painted all those ugly pictures?” His mother was horrified at his rudeness and was going to intervene, but the teacher just answered, “Johnny, in this class people don’t have to paint pretty pictures, they can paint anything they want.” Johnny visibly relaxed…this school was going to be a safe place.

Sheree K. Creative Commons license.

That feeling of safety is so important to learning. That’s one reason therapy reading dogs work so well in schools. The dogs are nonjudgmental and the children feel safe with them. Reading aloud is something to be shared with an interested listener rather than a chore, and the children look forward to doing it.

Children have to rely on adults to give them a safe learning environment, but as adults we can provide it for ourselves. So I no longer worry when my inner critic sneers, “What do you think you’re doing? What makes you think you can write? No one is interested in what you have to say!” I simply answer, “Yeah, sure. You’re probably right. And it doesn’t matter. I’m writing anyway, and you can’t stop me.”

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. And for me there are few things more important than writing.

So, that’s what I care about, and that’s what works for me. What about you? What do you care about…care about so much that you’ll do it no matter what other people might think? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to Shamelle, Daz, Jenny, Paul, Noa, Bruce and Liara for commenting on last week’s post.

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desi.italy. Creative Commons license.

Daylight Saving Time started yesterday morning at 2 am in most parts of the United States. It used to start on the first Sunday in April, but it was moved up to save energy…we use less energy for artificial lighting when it gets dark later in the evening. That sounds great in theory, and it probably worked when the idea was first implemented. Unfortunately that was before air conditioning…now researchers have shown we actually use more energy with the new changes.

That’s just one example of a fundamental rule:

 
This is especially important when it involves a fundamental life question: How we want to spend our limited time on this earth?

A Declaration of Independence
Jenny Ryan recently re-evaluated this question and wrote a post about it: My Declaration of Independence (Which Turned Out to Be Quite Long). Jenny says personal growth/self-help information was invaluable to her when she first went into business for herself, but

 
She’s decided she doesn’t want to keep striving to be a bigger “success”, and that’s all right. It doesn’t mean she’s lazy and “settling” for less than what she wants. The truth is she’s happy with where she is right now. She will continue working on herself, but what she really loves about her life is interacting with people one-on-one. She wants to live her present life deeply, not go chasing after MORE and BIGGER.

Amen to that! Thanks, Jenny, for your post. You’re a woman after my own heart.

What about you? Are you living your own life, or are you trying to live up to someone else’s definition of success? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thanks to Robert, bikehikebabe, Ellen and Pauline for commenting on last week’s post.

For a related post on living more deeply in the present see Johathan Mead’s “How intimate are you with life?”.

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Tuffy rescued by Best Friends
 

Tuffy recovering
 

Tuffy meeting new family

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-— Lao-tse

When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.
—Benjamin Franklin

Last week I mentioned the story of Nubbs and Major Brian Dennis. Dennis had nursed Nubbs when the dog was wounded and freezing near the Iraq-Syria border. When Dennis had to leave the area Nubbs tried to follow the Humvee but couldn’t keep up. That didn’t stop him… Dennis was 65 miles away, but Nubbs tracked him down in just two days. Dennis rewarded that determination and loyalty by sending Nubbs to California, where he will be reunited with Dennis when Dennis finishes his tour of duty.

This week’s story is about Tuffy, who was close to death when he was found at a ranch in Nevada by staff members from the Best Friends Animal Society. They named him Tuffy because of his resilience and will to live.

The staff members were at the ranch trying to rescue some of the dogs left after the owner had died. In the process they saw an unrecognized face peering out from the opening of a hay bale structure. The dog wiggled in recognition when they spoke to him, but he was too badly wounded to come out. Apparently he had been dumped at the ranch by an owner who thought he would find food, water and shelter there, not realizing that he would be an outsider and attacked by the pack.

As we can see from the first picture above, his right side had been torn down to the muscle layer and was covered with filth. He also had some deep bite wounds and had lost a lot of blood, and his wounds were dangerously infected. But as he looked up at the staff members he tried to wag his tail. He was glad they were there.

It took four hours to get him medical treatment from a veterinarian, and while they were transporting him and cleaning his wounds he didn’t protest. He just lay still and looked up at them with trusting eyes, occasionally wagging his tail a bit. When they settled him down for the night they weren’t sure he would survive, but the next morning they found him standing up, thumping his tail against the sides of the crate, happy to see them. As Liz, one of the staff members said, “For Tuffy …it seems that knowing someone cared was just enough to help him pull through this serious setback and fight for his very life.” Never underestimate the power of caring.

He was then taken to the Best Friends sanctuary in Utah for further medical treatment and tender, loving care. After he had healed, he was adopted by a family in Arizona.

Tuffy is just one example of the many rescues taking place every day by humane societies across the United States. I’m grateful to be a part of the No More Homeless Pets Movement, which also includes spay/neuter programs to reduce the number of homeless pets left to suffer and die. As I mentioned in last week’s post, we can’t do everything, but we can do something.

So much for one of the causes near and dear to my heart. What about you? What do you care about? Do you get a chance to hear about success stories that feed your soul? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe and Jonathan for commenting on last week’s post.

To see a video about the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, click here.

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