I have a confession to make: I’m still a little kid at heart. It’s not a quality that the world admires, but it’s my greatest talent. I take delight in little things.
This past week it’s been playing with the new self-serve scanner at the local library. They’ve been warning us that when the system is installed we would have to start bringing our library cards. Ughh. Until now I just told the librarian a 4-digit number and she typed it in instead of me having to dig my card out of my backpack. I loved that way of doing things.
So being basically lazy I made myself duplicate cards with my photocopier and some card stock and put them in the the pockets of the jackets I use. That’s the kind of craft project my little kid loves, and now I don’t have to worry about messing with my backpack.
Then I took my little kid on a field trip to the library to make sure the cards worked. They did, and my little kid had a grand time playing with the scanner. I told the librarian I was going to tell my husband about my great adventure, and she gave me a weird look. She clearly doesn’t understand little kids.
What About You?
Do you understand little kids? Even the ones in adult bodies? Are you in touch with your inner child? If so, do you ever let the world see her/him?
When a woman was coming out through the scanner, a little boy was going in. It buzzed. The boy threw up his hands. I said to him, “You’re going to be arrested.” That was the kid in me.
Reminds me of a boy on Jay Leno telling the worst thing he ever did. “A little girl was lost in the store. I told her your mother doesn’t want you & you’re never going to see her again.” That’s not funny!
bikehikebabe,
I think that’s funny too, as long as the boy realized it was a joke. 🙂
I think I was laughing when I said it. The boy saw the woman get called back.
I think I’m in touch with my little kid. Letting others see him is another story.
One problem is that he can be pretty intense and weird. So I think people need to know me a bit first. For instance a guest at my wedding had braces on her teeth with little things on them that looked like the letter “O”. I was trying to figure out if there were other letters too and I told her I was trying to read her teeth. She thought this quite strange (judging by the look she gave me). Btw, they weren’t the letter “O” at all.
Evans last blog post..What Makes You Say, “Ya Reckon?”
I am not the world and I admire the quality in you. I am like that too, not once in a way, but constantly. Quite often I am asked by well meaning people to behave like a grown up!
Enjoy yourself. Thank God that you are not a librarian!
rummusers last blog post..Learned Vs Learnt.
I’m on a Peter Pan mission to stop anyone from losing contact with the little kid inside! Hence my website – beplayful.org.
Sometimes, though, I do wish I could grow up. Just a bit.
David Masterss last blog post..Miniguide #2: How to Doodle
Jean, I’d venture to say that we are gathering a whole playground with our blogs.
Hey, did you call them Monkey Bars when you were still a kid in a kid’s body?
Lots of my pals cannot understand why I don’t read, knit etc when I’m in the bus to and from Uni…….I rarely do more than 5mins reading because I’m toooooooo busy looking out of the window – I don’t wanna miss anything happening in the ‘street’
I’ve seen some funny and wonderful sights from those windows….I watch the buildings going up, the kids going to school, people walking about. Then I watch people in their cars at the traffic lights , you see some strange sights. I talk to other people on the bus – I’ve got some great ‘nodding’ acquaintances – I don’t know where they live but I get to know where they work/study 🙂
Yesterday, I was out with a bus friend but one who doesn’t go my way and he noticed a fishing shop in Mt Albert. Actually, I told him about it months ago but he obviously didn’t take it in! I think he will be taking a trip there to look inside….
One time last year, I finally got off the bus in Kingsland and had lunch at a place I had passed by many times – Roast King! V good toooo.
Another time, I saw just the rolling trolley bag I had wanted for ages at Pt Chevalier so I got off when the $$ were enough and bought it!
Last Semester break, I finally had breakfast at Trinity Cafe in Mt Albert. I look at their black board everyday they have some fun/interesting quotes. I can’t remember them but at the time, they just make me smile. They have the chalk big enough to read from the bus!!!
There’s a place in Eden Terrace that looks interesting food-wise I will try and get there real soon.
I have 2 main bus routes that I use to get into the City from New Lynn which of course take me on differing roads. One goes mainly along Great North Road and the other along New North Road :-))
sooooooo the ‘kid in the lolly shop-me’ gets to be a kid nearly every day of the Semesters!
Thanks Cathy in NZ. Nice peek into life on the other side of the world. (USA here)
Evan,
I know what you mean about being careful who you show your little kid to. That’s especially true in a work environment. There are somethings that the whole world doesn’t need to know. 🙂
For me the important thing is for me to keep in touch with her. A question for you: does that mean we’re not being authentic when we play a required role well?
rummuser,
Being “grown up” is overrated! I think you’re a great influence, and I love your smile.
David,
I was pleased that beplayful.org is still going strong. I was sad when you said you were going to stop doing it, and I dutifully followed you over to our posterous site. I’ve just added beplayful back onto my live bookmarks.
Conrad,
We used to call them Jungle Gyms…that’s very similar.
It’s nice to link up with kindred spirits, isn’t it? C. S. Lewis once wrote, “Friendship begins when one person says to another, ‘Oh, you too? I thought I was all alone.’ ”
Cathy,
Good for you! I’m glad you have such interesting sights on your bus ride. It reminds me of when I lived in France. When I commuted by bus in the USA the views weren’t nearly as interesting.
I just looked New Lynn up on a map and assume you are going to the University of Auckland? I can see Mt. Albert and Eden Terrace. I love maps, so thank you. 🙂
You sure sound like a little kid!! Your kid is lucky to have a parent like you!
I’d like to think I understand to a great extent how my kids think. We have a lot of fun together ourselves, whether indoors or outdoors. Kids need our undivided time, more than anything else! When we connect to our inner child, we also connect better with our kids.
Evelyn Lims last blog post..Benefits To Meditation
Hi Jean,
Roles are tricky. A rather cryptic response is: It’s not the role that is the problem, it’s the playing.
The problem with roles says much about our culture and its devaluing of individuality and its inflexibility. There are new roles emerging I think. Think of how old fashioned ‘breadwinner’ sounds.
Sometimes we can express ourselves authentically through a role – eg being a lecturer and talking about what we care about in a way that fits.
So I don’t think about how well we play the role but about how much of ourselves is permitted expression by the role. Hope this makes sense. Happy to talk about this more: I think it is an important topic that opens up in very interesting ways.
Evans last blog post..What Makes You Say, “Ya Reckon?”
Some of my most memorable karate classes were taught to kids. Their energy can be refreshingly boundless.
I try to tap into my inner child, but there’s a bit of baggage in the way yet.
SpaceAgeSage — Loris last blog post..There is a time for everything; a season for every activity under heaven
chooca chooca bang bang – whoopity wapity wang wang
I feel silly, oh so silly.
I feel silly & witty & gay.
And I pity anyone who isn’t me today.
I’m singing that to the tune of “I Feel Pretty” (West Side Story)
Evelyn,
My daughter is grown up now, but we did have some good times. 🙂
Evan,
I’m not sure it’s just our present culture. More simple societies often have more rigid ideas about how individuals should think and behave. I grew up in a small town and have a lot more options now than I did then.
The way I see it some roles allow us to express parts of ourselves. In that case we’re being authentic, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a lot more to us than we’re showing at that particular time.
Lori,
Do you find that working with kids helps you get in touch with your own inner child?
bikehikebabe,
Good for you! And good for Photoshop, or the equivalent.
Hi Jean,
I guess your question about roles was rhetorical(?). Couter-question: does this mean that you can’t be inauthentic when playing a role?
Evans last blog post..Social and Personal Change. Coping with the Coming Crisis #2
Evan,
No, it wasn’t rhetorical. I’ve been pondering the question of what it means to be authentic and whether it’s always such a big deal. Was it inauthentic to have Pavarotti at the Winter Olympics in Turino lip-sync his performance to an earlier recording? I’m one of the people who is still thrilled when I hear a recording of him in his prime. Presumably his presence and gestures added a lot, although I was still thrilled to hear him “sing” at his funeral.
Likewise, was it inauthentic to have Yo-Yo Ma and others play at the Obama inauguration but to have the audience actually listen to an earlier recording? If it’s too cold to give a great performance is “authenticity” that important? That’s an honest question.
Jean,
As I’ve aged – strike that! – matured, I’ve come to appreciate just how much context is a part of authentic.
What would bad cello music have meant, as you said. Now, if Yo-Yo Ma is playing to a recording of someone else’s music, he’s crossed the line.
Conrads last blog post..Introducing My Daughter to the Universe!
Conrad,
Agreed. I’m thinking of the Chinese Olympics. Having their best little girl singer do the singing and their prettiest one doing the lip-sync did cross the line for us. But they didn’t see anything wrong with it. I can see their point of view too: Hey, it’s show biz. What about all the actresses you wouldn’t recognize on the street without their makeup?
I think I’m finally starting to understand kids. Maybe even starting to understand my little kid inside. Just tonight I let my son do something just so he could do it. My initial reaction was telling him not too.
We don’t get snow here very often. And when we do that’s when my little kid really comes out. I love to watch SnowBird and see if the schools in town are closed, even though I still have to go to work. I remember that feeling and still have it.
Well, we had snow on the ground tonight and as we were leaving an establishment, my son (10) decided to stray off the sidewalk and trample through the cold snow. I asked him not to do that, then just all of a sudden I remembered how I felt when I trampled through the snow. I then immediately said, “You know what, you just go ahead and run in the snow as much as you want.” He did, and had a blast! with just an inch of snow on the ground.
I understand those feelings. It’s just taking me a while to remember them.
Scotts last blog post..Overwhelming Realizations
Scott,
Good for you. 🙂
That reminds me of a little boy who visited us once. He was wearing new shoes and we went for a walk. He spied a puddle and said, “Look!” Then he splashed right through it and said, “That’s what puddles are for.” It warmed my heart even though I don’t splash through puddles when I have brand-new shoes on.
It was years ago and I still remember him.
I understand kids just fine. It’s adults I don’t get!
Square Peg Guys last blog post..One Advantage to Being Gluten Intolerant
Square Peg Guy,
Well put!
I have two kids, i would not say I understand them. I am not sure I want to. What i really want is the result of our interactions and that twofold: seeing them smiling as much as possible, rising with values so that they can make wise decisions on their own. What I also do is learn from them – may be that is my way to connect to them
Alik Levin | PracticeThis.coms last blog post..Program Yourself For Extremely Fast Performance
“Do you find that working with kids helps you get in touch with your own inner child?”
Yes, but only if I let myself go with the flow, otherwise I get stuck in a disciplinarian role.
Hi Jean,
We have different needs and desires, at different times one is more important than another. Usually my desire for dinner is dominant around 7pm. But if I’m involved in a creative project this may be delayed. At the extreme people have gone joyfully to their deaths for their beliefs and ideologies or rather than denying their experience. So I think the importance varies, my guess is that we have a need for personal authenticity and genuine relationships (social authenticity). Hope this makes sense as a response.
In relation to Pavaroti and Yo Yo Ma. Probably not – but if it was in a concert hall where it was claimed that they were performing live, then yes.
Alik,
When my daughter was little we spent a lot of time just hanging out together…reading books, running errands, snuggling in bed at night…just enjoying one another’s company and being alive. I spent at least as much time listening as talking.
On the other hand, we had a lot of projects up on our land, so she also learned the value of work as well as a lot of practical skills. We all remember those times with fondness. 🙂
Lori,
I’m a bust as a disciplinarian, but I suppose sometimes it’s necessary.
Evan,
I agree…it depends on the circumstances and how much our deepest values are involved. I’m guessing that the audience seeing Pavarotti were still glad they saw him even when they learned about the lip-syncing.
Hi Jean,
I now realise we’ve been missing each other a little in this discussion.
I think we need to surface the relation between pleasure and authenticity. I don’t think the relation is direct, more overlapping at some points or to do with deeper and more superficial kinds of pleasure or something. What do you think?
Evans last blog post..Belief, Certainty and Agreement
Evan,
I’m still not clear what the term “authenticity” means to me. I keep thinking of Walt Whitman:
“Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)”
Who was the authentic Walt Whitman?
I think the authentic Walt Whitman was quite grandiose if you see what I mean.
I think there are some things that we care about more than others. Some things we react to instinctively. Some objects and relationships we treasure. I think these are clues to what is authentic to us and what authenticity is for us. Trust this makes sense.
Hi Evan, I wondered why you were so caught up in detail (authenticity) so I read your autobiography on your website. Wow!
I’m interested in psychology. (My daughter is a psychologist.) I went to a couple Gestalt sessions. I talked to a pillow (my mother). Then I was the pillow (my mother). I was shocked that my voice sounded like hers & at what she said-never mind that. I read the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator book. I don’t know what Transactional Analysis is. Will put that on my list. -ha
Hi bikehikebabe,
Thanks for visiting. I hope you love TA as well, I love its accessibility.
I get obsessed (detailed) in my quest for clarity – and yes I know that this may be the problem rather than the solution.
I love gestalt not only for its effectiveness but also for its theoretical clarity.
Thanks, Evan
Evan,
Sure Whitman was grandiose, and that doesn’t mean some of us don’t have multitudes inside of us. That’s why I like Psychosynthesis…it recognizes our contradictions and tries to integrate them into some larger whole. Being more interested in creativity than in therapy, that approach appeals to me. For me it’s a lot more fun.
🙂 Don’t forget, my mission in life is to avoid being eaten by a crocodile.
I guess in psychosynthesis’s terms the higer self or the whole is what authenticity is about – or the integration of the higher self.
Evans last blog post..Belief, Certainty and Agreement
Oh very nice i also feel like you i’m 40 years old
but till today my activities completely like childish
and i love it
I admit, I have a little girl inside of me all this time. And I think, she is my best friend. 🙂
i stopped at 12.
12 was a very good year for me.
i laugh. sometimes i can just think of something funny and i laugh. when you’re alone and laughing out loud, people look at you as if you have a bolt loose. a screw loose? whichever. you know.
i am pretty much winnie the pooh with occasional eyeore days. only because i dearly love eyeore. i think he’s calm and probably sensible. and i have always aspired to be calm and sensible.
life is good.
tammy j