There are lots of elderly people and children in our street, and walking with your cellphone may cause unnecessary collisions here.
—Official in the Chinese city of Chongqing
So the city tried an experiment. It divided one stretch of sidewalk into two lanes — one for smartphone users, the other for non-users. Did it have any effect? No, because the smartphone users were too distracted to read the signs.
Then there was the fellow who was applying for a visa to Australia. He was asked if he had ever been arrested for a felony. His answer? “I didn’t know that was still a requirement.” Neither Andy nor I saw that one coming.
Have you read/heard any interesting stories — either true or made up — lately?
September 16, 2014
About twenty five percent of all mail that I receive every day are jokes. Mostly repeats but quite a few originals. Some are cartoons and some are photographs. Most are India-centric and will be difficult to share in English. I copy paste some universally understood ones on my facebook page.
Here is a sample:
I NO COME WOK TODAY
Hung Chow calls his Boss and says, ‘Hey, I no come wok
today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs
hurt, I no come wok.’
The boss says, ‘You know something, Hung Chow, I really need
you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and
tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I
go to work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. ‘I do what You say
and I feel great. I be at wok soon……..” You got nice house “……..
😀
ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.
HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, “THAT’S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND,” WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.
BUT, JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK, “GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY.”
MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGHT IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT. HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.
OVER THE YEARS, MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE ‘GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY’ STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.
ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION ABOUT Mr. GORSKY TO ARMSTRONG. THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED BECAUSE HIS MR. GORSKY HAD JUST DIED. SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION.
HERE IS THE ANSWER TO “WHO WAS MR. GORSKY”:
IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WESTERN TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR’S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW. HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY.
AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY, “SEX? YOU WANT SEX? YOU’LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!”
NEIL ARMSTRONG’S FAMILY CONFIRMED THAT THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
I love it. 😀
The stories that especially interest me are those where some extraordinary chain of events leads to a quite unexpected outcome like a house collapse or a lottery win or missing a disastrous plane flight. And odd medical stories appeal to me too – like the dog that needed an emergency operation after eating some lacy underwear.
I like odd medical stories too. We get Discover Magazine, and about the only part I read each time is Vital Signs, about how a doctor figures out what’s wrong with the patient.
I just read an article about a Stanford student who was in a car with some friends in 1989, when the Loma Prieta earthquake struck. For some reason they got out of the car and ran. It saved their lives because a big masonry block fell on the car and smashed it. His career wasn’t as prestigious as it could have been after he graduated. He realized how uncertain life can be so he chose a path that he loved, not one that would impress other people.
oh!
i’m grinning from ear to ear . . .
first your post
then all the comments.
i’m such a dud. i can think of nothing at the moment to even compare!
i’ll just keep grinning i guess. 😀
You’ve told plenty of good stories on peanut! I’m glad this post and the comments made you laugh. 🙂
right now NZ is enmeshed in a whole lot of political intrigue – to me it feels like a bl**dy novel – it so absurd! Of course, I’m just ordinary person in the non-political world.
Election voting is this Saturday, although you can vote earlier… we use the system MMP http://www.elections.org.nz/voting-system/new-zealands-system-government
Political intrigue can be so depressing!
We have early voting too, and it saves a lot of waiting time.