For every problem under the sun,
There is a solution or there is none.
If there is one, try to find it.
If there is none, never mind it.
—Anonymous
Like many words of wisdom, the above poem is easier said than done. And that’s a great reason for blogging, to remind us to keep trying. And that we are not alone.
In a comment to last week’s post Bob mentioned he sometimes gets stuck rehashing a conflict long after it’s over. I’ve been thinking about that a lot this week…for most of us learning to let go is a lifelong challenge.
One thing I use is a list of traits that I’m trying to develop in myself. It’s now included on its own page, Stress-Hardiness Traits, in the menu on the left. I review that list often and check to see where I’ve integrated it into my life and where I need more practice. It’s a big help reminding me of the bigger picture and of what I’m aiming for in life. It’s the day-to-day practice that prepares us for challenges.
I also use a powerful image to help me let go. It’s of how hunters in Asia used to trap monkeys. They would hollow out a coconut, leaving a hole just big enough for a monkey to slip its hand in, but not big enough for the monkey to pull its fist out. The hunters would then attach the coconut to a tree with a rope and put a sweet treat in the hole. When a monkey came by it would smell the treat, reach in with its hand to grasp it, and get trapped. It was incapable of letting go.
So whenever I get stuck I think of myself as that monkey, keeping myself trapped because I can’t let go. Being able to see myself from that outside perspective helps me see the situation more clearly, and eventually I’m willing to let go of the trap and get on with my life.
What about you? How do you you let go? This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in the comments section. I especially invite Bob and Galba to continue this discussion.
Photo by RomuloArrais via Flickr. Creative Commons license.
It’s a lovely image Jean. I do feel that visual images can provide a great reminder of what we’re aiming to achieve. I have to smile because, this morning, I mapped out a follow up to your earlier article. You’ll hear from me soon and thanks, Jean for the link.
While I feel sad for those monkeys, it is a powerful and helpful image.
My big problem is that I just do not do well with any kind of conflict in my life. Any time I think that someone is upset with me or disappointed in me, it really tears me up. I don’t know how I got to be such a lightweight in that regard, but I most definitely am!
Galba
Thanks for commenting and for the continuing conversation. The beauty of blogging for me is the ability to have in-depth conversations.
Bob
I’ve been thinking about your comment a lot and decided to write more about it next Sunday. It reminds me of the C. S. Lewis quote,
Friendship begins when one person says to another, “Oh, you too? I thought I was all alone.”
We’re both extremely sensitive. I tend to get torn up whenever people are unhappy or hostile. When I was an early teen I read an article that said this heightened sensitivity could be a blessing as well as a curse. I remember where I was standing when I read it and my reaction to it. I still bless the writer and the newspaper. It has helped a lot over the years.
Not only is there monkey trap, there is also monkey mind – where your thoughts, mostly unwanted, chatter away and you listen. Make a plan to stop listening. Deep breathing, putting on oldies or favorite music and singing with the lyrics, substituting physical work (even vacuuming or sweeping out the garage.) Breathing while trying to keep my mind focused helps me the most.
I thought of Letting Go in my last comment. Have a book somewhere by that name.
I want an image to get me to sleep. (Books on CD’s are too exciting.) I think of riding bicycle in Sweden & seeing big fields of yellow grain swaying in the wind. Then I think of how sad I feel that my daughter & family live so far away. I think of Rock Lake in W.Va. where I grew up and had so much fun. Sad–it’s so far in the past & far away.
That’s why I need MORNING Pages when I’m fresh.