I do love the internet. I was cleaning out some old files a couple of weeks ago when I came across a piece of writing that moved me. I had saved the content but not the source. So I Googled the first few words, “I was going through some personal papers yesterday” and found they came from a 2007 post by
Terry Starbucker. Terry gave me permission to include it here, so the post, except for three lines which I’ll talk about next week, is as follows:
I was going through some personal papers yesterday and came across a three page letter that I had written in September of 1992. The letter was addressed to me.
At that time I had hit professional bottom – I was in a dead-end job and was feeling miserable and worthless. What made matters worse was that the project I was working on was stalled and I had too much time on my hands.
On that particular day I decided to take control of my life, so I used the time I had to write myself that letter. In hindsight it was my personal declaration of independence, describing who I was at the time, and more importantly, who I wanted to be and how I was going to get there.
I came up with 8 “rules” that I pledged to follow going forward – a few of which were tough medicine. Here is how I wrote them, word for word:
1. Don’t worry about that which you cannot control- 1st tenant to rehab
2. Work on those things you can control
3. Sometimes, s— happens – get over it and move on
4. Don’t give up (life is difficult, remember?)
5. Try to take some useful satisfaction over previously trivial matters
6. Stay in touch with family and friends – those are the people who can bring you joy and laughter
7. Keep smiling – everyone will always wonder what you are up to – rise above it!
8. Don’t take life seriously, ’cause no one ever got out of it alive (how soon you forget)Did I follow these rules and get my “mojo” back? Eventually I did, and when I read my letter again I realize how significant this day, and this piece of paper, was to my recovery.
[Three lines to be discussed next week.]
It’s amazing how things can happen if you just write them down.
Putting It in Writing
Essentially what Terry was doing was committing himself to take responsibility for his life. He was putting it in writing. Before blogging I was a dedicated journal writer because I too had discovered the power of putting things down on paper. Even if our conscious minds forget, our subconscious will remember.
Have you ever had this experience? If you like Terry’s post, please visit him and let him know.
An interesting idea.
The only lists I wrote were the chores I wished to complete in a day or for grocery shopping – how dull. These were kept in a tiny notebook that slotted into a small pocket of my handbag/purse. Any stranger flicking through the pages of that notebook would find a list on the back page of items I would like… the little extras or hobby items that I refused to buy even though I could. I preferred to collect 20pence coins in a jar until I had enough for the next item.
Inside the front cover of the notebook I would write quotations or phrases I liked and wished to remember (like the one at the top of this post). When I got my PC it was not unknown for these phrases to appear on post-it notes around the monitor. Somehow it doesn’t quite work with the laptop. Nowadays I have a folder full of quotations deep inside it!
As a writer, you’d think I might be familiar with this idea; more importantly, that I would have experienced its power.
Nope.
I guess I’ve always been so busy and focussed with writing from my imagination that it never occurred to me to write myself a letter like this.
I do take responsibility for my life, and I do accept my life, but these actions are done within my head, not on “paper.”
Very interesting…..thanks!
Jean,
Great one! I am so glad to come back and see you are still doing wonderfully great on this blog. Being working on my pet project, http://www.naijamotivation.com for some time
Jean, thanks for this GREAT post. I was speaking at a seminar last Saturday and interestingly the topic is Becoming The Architect of Your Life. I spoke about using a pen and a journal to create the kind of life one wants.
My life has been wonderful by writing things down. My journals are full of ideas I amy NEVER finish in twenty years from today.
Have i written to myself before? Nope. But I write down ideas, projects I need to work on and other stuffs.
keep this up jean. You are GREAT!
Adebola
I’m a journal junkie! I have these discoveries – sometimes on purpose – all the time, which is why I write in a journal every day. I’m often surprised by my patterns of thought (which I wouldn’t necessarily key into), my whining (which usually gets me off my butt to do something rather than continually whining about the same things) and my outstanding capacity for dissecting and obliterating my darn ego (which I actually DIALOGUE with!). I will certainly visit Terry and encourage journal writing – as I always do with everyone. It can be a real hoot!
Writing definitely helps. Heck I might even be addicted to it given that I turn to writing to help me get over personal crises. But back when internet wasn’t there, I did maintain a journal whose privacy was never respected. I ended up tearing it as a consequence never turning to it again.
That is of course until a friend of mine suggested blogging. Haven’t turned back ever since!
That’s a great list he’s made, and it’s amazing how he got around to “actually” do it. I find it amazing how I want to do something for weeks, and I play it in my head, and then I end procrastinating it forever. Like there was a can of juice in our room that no one drank, and for more than two weeks I’ve been planning to throw it away, and my mom told me so more than once, until today I told my sister to do it! It’s astonishing that I still didn’t get “around to doing it”!
It happens with other things too, like exercising, stop wasting time, etc etc.
Thanks for posting it!!! 🙂
Oh and btw: I tried searching for the test you told me about online, and I found one but I’m not sure it was the same one, but similar and I got: “Idealist Portrait of the Teacher (ENFJ)”
I’m not sure I’d work out as a teacher really, but thanks a lot for telling me about the test.
Grannymar,
I love quotations too. I’ve starting to add some illustrations to some of them. Your comment over at Transforming Stress about having been raised on guilt reminded me of this one:
It’s helped a lot over the years to help me shed the idea that I should always be “unselfish” and sacrifice for others.
Jody,
If what you’re doing works then that’s fine too. 🙂
Adebola,
It’s good hearing from you again. It sounds as if things are going well for you. That’s great.
suzen,
I used to be a journal junkie too. To me it’s like rototilling the soil so seeds can easily germinate and grow. I finally forced myself to stop because I wanted to do more focused writing. I wanted the pressure to build so I had an inner drive to write. The problem is I’m a visual thinker and I really to write something illustrated. I was stuck until I discovered blogging and Flickr.
Ashok,
I cheerfully admit I was addicted to journaling. It’s gotten me through many a life transition. I’m sorry about your privacy being violated, but the general suggestion is write anyway, even if you have to tear it up and safely dispose of it. It’s the act of writing that counts. But I also agree, blogging is a godsend.
Noor,
How strongly J are you? If you were an ENFP it wouldn’t be surprising about the procrastination. 😉
I’m a strong N and a P (borderline E/I and T/F) and the part about hating routine chores and needing to be creative applies to me.
Back to ENFJ’s…There are a wide variety of possible careers for an ENFJ. See for instance, Careers for ENFJ Personality Types and Personalitydesk. Even though Personalitydesk calls the ENFJ the teacher, that isn’t meant to be taken literally. The link has a long list of possible careers. Notice that Oprah Winfrey is an ENFJ. She doesn’t restrict herself to a classroom.
Keep in mind the lists are just possibilities. Notice also that Writer is mentioned in both links. It seems to me if you’re posting regularly on your blog you must enjoy doing it. Do you have trouble getting yourself to write the posts?
One reason I spent so much time writing in my journal is it’s a good way to get in touch with my subconscious mind. I used to have the same problem as you…I would think about doing things, plan to do them, and then go off and do something else. It was clear my subconscious mind was in charge and I’d better get some teamwork going. It worked for me.
I don’t worry too much about procrastination…sometimes it’s the best use of my time. If I really do have some things that need to be done I use creative procrastination. Of course, I may be a lot more gullible than you are. 😉
So your sister threw away the can of juice? It sounds as if you might be a good manager. You know how to delegate. 😉
For me writing is about exploring, resolving and thinking something through.
I find that things can become clear as I write – I find out things as I write, and that I can end up going in a different direction than that I started out in.
Oh thanks so much for the link, it actually sounds a lot like me, and I do like to write, and I would imagine myself submitting articles to a newspaper for an example or so, but I’m more interested in helping people out, so being a psychologist is very appealing as a matter of fact, and it’s a huge option for me since I think I’m good with dealing with people, and I like to help them, you know I’ve always thought about it, like it was always in the back of my mind, but I wasn’t sure about it, but now I’m considering it more seriously, so thanks a lot!!!
Haha, and about being a good manager, I can be a bossy person sometimes, it gets things done. 😉
Among the saws that I grew up with was one very important one -“A short pencil is better than a long memory.” I never leave home without a pocket book and a pen to make whatever notes that need to be taken about things that I need to do, once I am back at home. This used to be the same, during my working days too.
As I write this, there are four separate projects on the drawing board as it were. They are all blog posts, for which I have got ideas listed and am in the process of fleshing out the outline with other inputs.
Yes, I write a lot of notes to myself.
Evan,
Yes! Writing as exploring, learning what I really think. That’s the way it works for me.
Noor,
Psychology sounds like a winner. That was my daughter’s major in college.
What colleges might you attend? Do they have programs in psychology?
rummuser,
What a great quote. Thank you. 🙂
I put it on a blog (writing on a blog) not on a paper. Is it same?
tikno,
Yes, that works just fine. That’s what I’m doing now. That and learning to draw. I’m a visual thinker and finding pictures and trying to draw stirs my subconscious and stimulates my creativity.
Well, the reason I’m not sure about psychology is that I’m going to have to study medicine and then specialize in psychology, and then become a doctor. That’s how I’ll do it if I wanna major in it, because simply studying psychology as a major in college won’t do because it really doesn’t have much of a future here where I live.
I don’t really know where I’m going to study college, as in which country, so therefore I don’t know which university I’ll be studying in.
Noor,
Good luck in whatever you decide. I assume this is a decision you need to make this coming year?
Thanks, I’ll need that!!
Yeah, I need to decide this coming school year cuz it’s my senior year. 🙂