This cartoon reminds me of my dad. He used to say, “Never let people know how much you can do, otherwise they’ll expect you to do it.” He wasn’t a great achiever, of course, but his strategy worked well for him. 😉
Have you ever pretended to be less competent than you really are? (I have.) If so, what did you do with the time that you saved?
Have you ever pretended to be more competent than you were at the time? (“Fake it ’til you make it”…I have.) How did that work out?
I do it all the time, baby! No, seriously, I am very independent and do everything for myself. I’d walk miles to go to the shop, for example, dragging several kids along. I’d never bother my grown nephews, who were studying. And what happened? A new neighbour moves in next door. Like mine, her husband is out most of the day, and Lord if she isn’t in our house every other minute demanding that my nephews get out the scooter and go and get her stuff in the shop for her. And what’s more – they did everything she asked. Well, I learnt from that. Eventually. Now, I have no hesitation in asking for help. I don’t always get it, but still.
.-= gaelikaa´s last blog ..Mother-In-Law Matters =-.
I do it all the time, but I’m smarter than I act. I haven’t figured it out exactly. Maybe I feel that acting smart appears conceited.
However like gaelikaa, I do for myself & don’t ask for help. (What a liar I am. I ask my husband to do things I don’t want to do all the time, but that’s in the privacy of our home.)
Meet the expert at pretending to be less competent than I really am. Saves a lot of discussions and arguments apart from people leaving me alone just like in the cartoon!
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..Guess What Becomes Guess Who. =-.
Bike Hike Babe, you are most decidedly smarter than you make out to be.
Like you and the sweet Maria of Gaelikaa fame I am incapable of asking for help. However, judging by the running commentary of people in my life, I am beginning to believe it a weakness rather than a strength of mine not to be able to accept help. I have even been forced to make promises to the effect of asking for assistance. Generally, I keep promises. Have I kept this one – in short, NO. One day life might force me to – and it won’t be easy; on either myself or those who do the helping.
U
As to your original question, Jean: You’ve got my email
All my life I have met members of the ‘I can’t do that’ brigade! I never had time for them. My early life was plagued doing chores for people who sang that song. When I hear that refrain now, I reply “Neither could I, until i tried!”
.-= Grannymar´s last blog ..Food Monday ~ Baked Cranberry Cheesecake =-.
Jean, the former works a whole lot better than the latter!!!
Neither is particularly honest, of course… but, oh those feet of clay. 😉
.-= Conrad´s last blog ..Why I Kicked Ursula Out =-.
I pretend I can do everything; there is a saying-‘Jack of Everything, Master of Nothing’. There is a reason behind this though; when I decided I could no longer work in the job I was doing or any job for a few years (study, twins etc.), I sold myself (in the very strictest legal sense) to everyone who would listen, so that people would employ me.
It worked. People think I’m good at everything but I am definitely only a Jack. And happy with that role; it pays better.
I don’t know why I haven’t stopped by here before, I’m glad I have now.
Helen,
As long as you can perform at the level they need it sounds like a great strategy. Sometimes that’s exactly what is needed…it sounds as if you’re very effective.
gaelikaa,
That was quite a lesson! Unfortunately personality is a factor. I don’t mind asking people to help me, but I don’t like to demand.
bikehikebabe,
I quite often ask for help at the gym. Sometimes the guys tighten the settings too much and I can’t budge them. Most people don’t seem to mind loosening them for me.
Rummuser,
I agree. It can save a lot of hassle at times.
Ursula,
Benjamin Franklin said one of the easiest ways to make a friend is to ask the person for a favor. Most people like to help others if the request isn’t too onerous. When I ask for a favor I always ask myself if I would feel good doing something similar for a person. The answer is usually yes.
Grannymar,
I can understand that with your background the above cartoon doesn’t seem that funny. My mother was similar to you and my dad’s attitude bothered her. I still think the strategy can be useful, especially when it involves a job you don’t think is worth doing.
Conrad,
I don’t mind having feet of clay. 🙂
I’m not sure if the former is better than the latter, but I agree it’s often more fun. I had a job once where I occasionally pretended to know more than I did. It gave me some time to figure out how to do the task. I prefer situations where there is no game playing, but when the situation was set up for gamesmanship I figured I might as well play well, with good humor.
Instead of making my job just a job, I worked hard at first to be the best that I could be at it. However, other than a couple of times when I wasn’t thinking straight, I never put in for a management position. Looking back on it, I probably subconsciously and intentionally did worse at supervisory related activities than I was capable of. I certainly could have done the job and I would have been good at it, I think. Others who started where I did have risen very high in the corporation or in other organizations elsewhere.
While I didn’t have the high-flying careers of some of the others that I knew, I saved myself from tremendous stresses that I would have had having to deal with people in an oversight role. I was also able to retain the enjoyment of my job for a lot longer than most people did.
… and now I get to go back and “play” in the simulator as a contract instructor.
.-= Mike Goad´s last blog ..Scaling back a bit =-.
RIGHT ON MIKE!
Mike,
I agree with bikehikebabe. 😉 My husband had plenty of chances to go into management and absolutely refused. It was the right choice for him. On the other hand my daughter absolutely loves it. It’s hectic, especially because she’s also working towards an MBA, but she’s happier than she has been in years. The trick is to know what suits us and not be swayed by what other people think.
Hello,
I’ve wanted to stop by your blog for quiet sometime now, and I’m so glad I finally did.
I think feigned competence and incompetence, both can land you in deep trouble, if you don’t play it safe. It really depends on the kind of situation and the person you are interacting with and also if feigning your capabilities or incapabilities is really going to make things any better for you!
.-= Anu´s last blog ..Fractured Soul =-.
Anu,
I’m glad you stopped by. I agree, any time you play games like that you have to be very careful! That doesn’t mean it’s never an effective strategy.
Oh it sure is an effective strategy in shrugging off a lot of unwanted responsibilities like the one in the cartoon! I do that a lot of times. Professionally I’d say the former helps better because then you get to learn a lot. You need to consciously underplay it and know your moves right. This way you can ensure you draw the line between feigning incompetence and being plain-right stupid! Also, people will tend to have minimal expectations from you so anything you do beyond the realms of their expectation will be appreciated.
.-= Anu´s last blog ..Fractured Soul =-.
some of the problems I have have absolutely nothing to with incompetence…my balance and my tremor problems means I cannot physically do certain things.
I have to ask for help! I’ve got a couple of handy-men who love to stand on the stool/other and change the ceiling light bulbs.
I try to get ‘most’ things from everywhere on my own…when I do the food shopping, I have be mindful that I don’t own a car and have to ‘carry’ it all home. I often have to do 3 trips if the supplies have gotten down. I have to weigh up the consequences.
Today, it’s hot and sticky but I had a doctors appt…I was hoping for an aircon bus but I didn’t score it either way. It’s not far but it’s too far to walk even on a nice cool day.
But what I can’t stand is other ‘idiots’ who can’t follow simple directions…I belong to an organisation where I am the manager of the ‘shop’ and because of my new life during the Academic year I cannot be there during the w/days so a new system was put in place. I made a simplified list so the people could manage. The first line says: Bring a float and then tells them what coinage/notes. The very first time, a new assistants had to do this – there were 2 of them! Neither bought a float!!!!!
there is probably a whole blog post waiting in the wings on this subject alone 🙂
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..SUMMER & SUN =-.
I wouldn’t bring a float either. What’s a float?
“Today, it’s hot and sticky…” Must be nice. Today we have 2 feet of snow, 30F is our high. (-0.6C Tom told me this, but didn’t have time to figure it exactly.) It was 9F when he got up.
Yesterday we didn’t have electricity most of day, which means no heat in house, no cooking, what time is it? etc.
bikehikebabe – thanks!!!
Jean – Our daughter is in management at a JC Penny in a metro area mall. When she was working in one locally, for years she resisted any suggestion that she move into management, though she ended up having a lot of the responsibilities without the pay. When she finally decided to go for it, her year as a manager trainee was a breeze. She generally thrives on it, except this time of year. She used to be really big on the tradition of Christmas, but working in retail in an anchor store in a metro mall has really ruined it for her… at least for now.
.-= Mike Goad´s last blog ..Scaling back a bit =-.
BHB,
When working in a shop, the sales person needs cash for the till/register at the beginning of the day. It is called a float and made up of a number of each of the coins plus some small notes. Why? Well if the first three or four customers come in to buy a paper and want change for a large $Bill, you need money to give it to them in change.
Poor you in the cold with no electricity. That happens here too, usually in extreme weather. I have to keep a supply of candles, matches, and a small camping stove to cook on, for emergencies. They are used at least once a year. At least I have an open fire when the heat goes off. One year it was so cold I kept the fire going all night and brought the duvet and pillows out and slept on the settee.
I hope you thaw out soon.
.-= Grannymar´s last blog ..Thursday Special ~ Tests =-.
Anu,
I also use it when a person clearly wants to be the expert. If he really knows what he’s doing just let him do it.
Cathy,
My eyes have been my handicap. There are things other people have to do because I can’t. I try to make up for it by making a contribution in other ways.
Mike,
I would hate to be in retail sales. I do my Christmas shopping long before Christmas so we can ignore the mania. Our Christmases have always been low key.
BHB
Grannymar has explained it quite well…but in our particular case no ‘cash’ is to be left on the premises, not even a few $$ left to start up for the day. Here we call it a ‘float’ maybe it is something left over from the Commonwealth country/English days.
Again didn”t even imagine that a simple word like ‘float’ might cause someone a language description problem.
English is a strange language!
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..SUMMER & SUN =-.