The above cartoon was inspired by a cartoon in Science Magazine a few years ago. I was tickled that the magazine actually included a cartoon and that the above idea was used in an article on the origins of speech. I don’t remember what the article said, but presumably it did mention gender differences in communication styles.
I also like the following cartoon. Differences in communication styles don’t have to be a big deal.
Do either of these cartoons resonate with you?
Thanks to bikehikebabe, Cathy, Mike, Ursula, Rummuser, suzen and The Mad Penguin for commenting on last week’s post.
I don’t know about that one, Jean. I come from a long line of – male – talkers. My mother never gets a word in edgeways when my father is in vicinity (one of the advantages of talking to her on the phone because he can’t interrupt her midflow). My son is not exactly monosyllabic either. Only this afternoon he told me to shut up and listen. I always do [listen that is].
Sorry I can’t contribute anything meaningful to your subject. Though have observed that men have a way of communicating with each other with is different to how women battle it out. That’s why I sometimes wish I were a man because so much more efficient at conveying a message.
Other than that I am, as you can imagine, in despair as to my pet subject of communicating with each other: If I were a cat I’d just hiss, I were a lion I’d roar, and if I were a hedgehog I’d just roll into a ball and hibernate.
U
How entertaining to have a man that talks. My father rarely spoke & neither does Tom (husband).
I need to accept Tom as he is because he’s perfect, except I must entertain myself.
Ursula,
Interesting. I have mostly interacted with physical scientists, who tend to be visual rather than verbal. They have to be in order to handle all those equations. 🙂
bikehikebabe,
Tom is a physicist, of course. What did your father do?
Every man on both my mother’s & father’s side were chemical engineers in 2 generations. 14 in all. Then some went back to college to learn what they wanted to do. My father worked in Sumatra, where I was born, as an engineer.
Here, he & his brother did a business with the eastern part of U.S. in cleaning, repairing, & storing fur coats. During world war ll, appliances weren’t available, so everyone bought fur coats. They had 2 buildings in 2 states, with 4 floors of fur coats being stored during off seasons. The 3rd brother had the town dept. store. I liked that phrase,”Keeping up with the Joneses”, which was us. (O.K. I was the town snob.)
Then the business went downhill, due to animal rights people after my father retired.
Jean, aren’t you sorry you asked what my father did. I am.
It reminds me of a friend who says he always gets in the last words: “Yes, dear.”
.-= Mike Goad´s last blog ..Peppers at the Market =-.
bikehikebabe,
I enjoy details like that. Thanks! I’m not surprised your father was an engineer or some other kind of technical person.
Mike,
I’m more apt to say, “If it makes you happy, it makes me happy.” That works too. 🙂
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM, Wake up.”
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..Hair Cuts. =-.
Rummuser,
He wasn’t very bright, was he? He should have followed the old saying, “Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.” He might have been tired, but he would have caught the plane. 🙂
Hi Jean! Funny story from Rummuser – and love the comments. Early on in relationships, if I was quiet, the guy would ask me “What’s wrong?” til it drove me nuts. Nothing was wrong! I just didn’t feel the need to prattle on and on. And oddly, when my daughter started dating, she had run across the same thing and wondered why a guy would always expect women to talk so much!
Fortunately after 30 yrs with hubs, he respects my right NOT to talk every minute but still, every once in a while, he’ll say “You ok?” I seem to get quieter as I age. Constant dialogue wears me out!
My wife and I can usually communicate with a simple facial expression. The loudest and most persuasive communication involves no audible sounds.
.-= Looney´s last blog .. =-.
suzen,
Are you an introvert? It’s the extroverts that tend to prattle. I’m on the borderline between E and I in Myers-Briggs, so I have times when I prattle and also hours when I’m by myself thinking. Like you I do notice the talking is a lot less as I get older. The inner life becomes more and more fascinating. 🙂
Looney,
“The loudest and most persuasive communication involves no audible sounds.” How true. Thank you for reminding us.
Hi suZen, You are extremely excellent at “prattle”. Very funny prattle. Have I got the right suzen?
http://erasingthebored.blogspot.com/
Jean, as you know I hate being pigeonholed, no black or white for me. There is a whole spectrum on the scale of extrovert/introvert, as indeed you said, yourself being borderline. I am definitely an introvert (as confirmed by Myers Briggs) yet a lot of people – in social situations – have me down as an extrovert.
Whilst I talk and laugh a lot when in company, I do NOT “prattle”, my output being of supreme intelligence (insert winking smiley). But, by god, like SuZen, I do need quiet periods, lots and lots and lots otherwise I get quite irritable – I don’t even play music when I need to concentrate on something. One of the most muttered sentences in this house is when the phone rings “Can’t a woman have one moment’s peace and quiet?” That’s why my answerphone is usually jammed.
Ramana in his response to you proving to be most charming by his “rough draft before the masterpiece”. If ever there was a compliment and a chat up line.
U
Ursula,
I too see the world in technicolor. Much more interesting than in mere black and white. And I agree that Rummuser’s comment was most charming.
I don’t have that much trouble with the phone ringing because I often don’t even hear it unless I’m in the living room. Then it’s loud enough to make me hurry to shut it up.
I definitely prattle to my husband when I’m happy. It’s great fun for me and I try not to do it for very long. He’s patient, which I regard as one of the highest forms of love. I do tell him there are worse things in life than having a happy wife. Or I joke and say for him. “Why can’t you just be depressed and quiet, Jean?” He laughs. But we also spend most of our time being quietly absorbed in what we’re doing.
If my wife get angry and keep silence because of a little problem between us, usually I touch her shoulder with smile after sunset. This “special formula” is really work.
Why after sunset? because my grandfather ever said to me : “Melt your anger in line with the sunset, do not keep it up until the next sunrise because tomorrow is a new hope”.
So I tend to shorten the period of the problem to prevent its domino effect 😉
.-= tikno´s last blog ..The inner voices when I am get old =-.
tikno,
That sounds like a great strategy. You give your wife time to cool off and re-establish closeness. Thank you for sharing it.