I wouldn’t make a good Buddhist because like Ben in the cartoon I do get attached to things. I still remember when I was little and my grandmother modernized her bathroom and replaced the old claw-footed bathtub with a newer model. Everyone except me was thrilled with the new look. I was out in the yard talking to the old bathtub, trying to make it feel better even though it had been discarded without a thank you or a kiss goodbye.
I’m afraid I’m not much better now. We’re planning a train trip to see Kaitlin, Torben and the granddogs and grandcats. We want to travel as light as possible, and I decided it was time to replace my 20-year-old hard-sided, sturdy but heavy, Samsonite suitcases with some lighter soft-sided ones. 🙁 The old ones and I have been through a lot together, but it didn’t make sense to keep them. So I summoned up my courage, kissed one of them goodbye and gave it away. The other one will follow in the fullness of time, but I didn’t have the heart to do it yet. Mourning takes time.
Are any of you cursed with the same misguided sense of loyalty and love? Do you know anyone else who is?икони
I can’t say it’s “loyalty and love,” but, yes, we have way too much “stuff” we are attached to.
After seeing the disastrous results of the Joplin tornado, we decided that there is very little that we have that we would really regret losing.
I am definitely way too attached to stuff! I find it very difficult to get rid of anything. I am trying to learn but it’s hard. I am very sentimental and I tend to remember who got me things or the story behind it.
My wife and I went to an estate sale last week. The lady died without any children. She had traveled the world and collected all kinds of precious items, but now they were all being given away for a fraction of their price. The book collection was large, varied and serious, rather than the usual cheap novels. That only made it harder to dispose of.
I think many a buddhist is attached to non-attachment.
I don’t really see the problem in valuing past experiences. I do see the problem of getting stuck in a rut.
My aesthetic isn’t really modernist – all those regular shapes feel dead to me. And the po-mo tendency to put in jokes doesn’t help. So I tend not to like modernist-industrialist and so look more conservative than I am.
Evan has got it bang on. Attachment to non attachment is my and Ranjan’s forte, whereas, my father is exactly the opposite. He simply will not discard old things and in his room, I allow him to indulge himself. Our old curved screen TV set finally gave up the ghost and I replaced it with a new flat screen TV. He is still most upset about it and has asked me a number of times to try and get a curved screen one from anywhere!
Does naming your car and keeping it with its dents and scratches and refusing to think about trading it in count??
Oh, god, Jean. I so know what you are talking about – particularly about your bath tub.
Most things I don’t get attached to. But when I do I do. Even things that are not mine and I’ve only seen for a minute. A nineteen year long tradition my son and I going to the Garden Centre to pick out a Christmas tree. It’s torture. Sheer and unadultered torture. Why choose one and not the other? Naturally I can’t buy twenty – so it’s the ONE. The Angel, when still little, never knew whether to laugh or to cry when – on the way home in the car – with only one tree (chosen by him) I’d then make up lots of stories about all the trees left behind, what homes they’d go to, whether they’d go to one at all or be all lonely on Christmas Eve etc etc etc. “Oh, Mama!” Yeah, well. Can’t help how my brain works. Now he just quickly points to “THE ONE” before I can get attached to those left behind.
And then of course there comes that time when Christmas is over. It’s a wrench to take all those loving baubles off and put the tree out for collection. So glad Christmas is only once a year.
U
PS It’s only May
many of my early belongings are still with me…sometime last Summer, I took them all out of boxes and looked them over, then put them all carefully away again – except for a couple of things that really needed to be gone.
but the more recent shuffle through drawers and cupboards and actually taking things to the Sallies (goodwill translation) were from my days of a ‘couple-life’ and although they are useful they weren’t necessarily my taste – if I need some more dinner plates in the future I will go and buy them! I keep some strange ones that I don’t know where they came from but they at least matched…
a gift I was given maybe 15 years ago – a dust catcher, fine china handpainted I sold online and got a very good price for it. It just wasn’t my ‘scene’ anymore…it had moved maybe 3x with me, the box was missing but it was in pristine condition other than the dust-in-crevices!
in the next few months I will return to this ‘sorting up period’ because there are a few other things that I have kept for a rainy day and no longer require…or should I say want to keep as a memory 🙂
My answers are later than usual because we just got back from visiting Kaitlin, Torben and the menagerie.
Mike,
I felt the same way when we had to evacuate in 2000 because of a wildfire. We drove down to Albuquerque and watched the fire fighting efforts on TV. They were broadcasting not far from our apartment, so we could see if it was in danger. I had mixed feelings. It would have been a major nuisance if we had lost everything, but it also would have been a good chance to start from scratch. (Our stuff wasn’t touched.)
We weren’t allowed to go back for days, so we drove up to Montana in time to take Andy’s 91-year-old mother out to dinner for her birthday. I still remember the incident with warm feelings.
Siona,
Yes, it’s about sentiments, not things. I’ve decide to part with the other suitcase, but I will spend some time with it first to honor the memories.
I do love my two new suitcases and already have some great memories attached to them.
Looney,
Yes, books. They were my most precious possessions. I was shocked at how little they would have been valued if they were sold. Since then I have donated most of them to the local Friends of the Library bookstore. They sell them for a modest price and get money for the library. It’s a win-win solution. I not only get to contribute to a good cause, I get to share my books with other book lovers.
Evan,
Not getting stuck in a rut…how do you decide when what you’re doing is the right thing for you and when it’s just a rut? I can usually tell for me by a feeling of restlessness when I need to try something new.
Rummuser,
I assume you don’t feel the same about loved ones leaving your life? The interesting thing is that some of us react to things as loved ones. That’s why this post is tagged as humor.
Andy’s reaction to telephones is like your father’s to TV sets. He only uses the dial wall phone in our living room unless forced to use one that lets him respond to menus by pressing a number. I haven’t dialed a number in years.
Florence.
Yes, that definitely counts. I love my Highlander, dents and all.
Ursula,
What a great story! We’re clearly not the only ones if there are songs like Percy the Puny Poinsettia. That’s one of the songs we listen to each Christmas Eve as we go for our drive to look a the Christmas lights.
Cathy,
Good luck on your sorting up. I’m about to do that too. It’s easier to do as more time has gone by and I haven’t used an item…and the more often I’ve looked at it and honored the memories.
i’m slow in getting here! but just had to add…being born a minimalist (true!) you’d think that things don’t attach to me…but when i left my little white pickup truck (after it could no longer be resusitated) on a cold icy car lot, after buying a car… i looked back and literally burst into tears, as if i were leaving a dear friend, who had only been good to me and was used to staying dry in the garage. i think there’s a name for this behavior, but i can’t remember what it is. i have been that way since childhood tho. (then how is it that i practically own nothing, nor want to????) am just totally weird i guess!
tammy,
It makes complete sense to me. You don’t want a lot of things because you’re an introvert (in this area at least) that prefers a few close friends. When we traded in our beloved Fiat for a new car I mourned, and Kaitlin still has the license plates. We truly loved it. If that’s weird, so be it!
I’m plagued with having to say goodbye to my stuff which is crowding us. But I figure, out of sight, out of mind.
BTW when you get soft sided suitcases, the suitcase is only as good as the ZIPPER. Take heed.
bikehikebabe,
I’m cleaning out now too. I find if I haven’t thought of something in 10 years or so, I can probably live without it. If it’s good I pass it on to Clothes Helping Kids. I think it’s neat that we’re both doing it at the same time.
Thanks for the warning, and yes, I’m aware of the zipper problem. I bought one of my new bags from eBags, which guarantees the zipper I think. The other one is a Rick Steves which has a better arrangement for some of my lightweight stuff. We probably won’t go on another trip for one and a half to 2 years, so I’m not too worried. There’s a good chance they will outlast me. 🙂
bikehikebabe,
I’m cleaning out now too. I find if I haven’t thought of something in 10 years or so, I can probably live without it. If it’s good I pass it on to Clothes Helping Kids. I think it’s neat that we’re both doing it at the same time.
Thanks for the warning, and yes, I’m aware of the zipper problem. I bought one of my new bags from eBags, which guarantees the zipper I think. The other one is a Rick Steves which has a better arrangement for some of my lightweight stuff. We probably won’t go on another trip for one and a half to 2 years, so I’m not too worried. There’s a good chance they will outlast me. 😀
It’s that you just don’t want to see it going to waste. If someone else is going to use it or benefit from it, then I’m happy to let it go.
blackwatertown,
I agree!