Parallel play—two individuals engrossed in separate but parallel activities.
The author of a recent Wall Street Journal article on the subject says,
One issue has become abundantly clear: Individuals who do almost everything together in later life—who are “joined at the hip”—usually aren’t as satisfied or fulfilled as couples where spouses have their own interests and, ideally, are learning new skills.
Do you agree with that statement? I don’t know about other couples, but it certainly works for Andy and me. (Because we’re both cheerful geeks?)
I don’t quite know how to respond. My late wife gave up her lucrative career to focus on our home and bringing up our son as I was hardly around to do my bit. We were still joined at the hips for all that and particularly after I retired and was focused on being her care giver. I think that we cannot generalise on this. Some work, some don’t and it comes down to individual personalities.
It makes a big difference if one of the couple needs care. And the article says it applies mostly to Americans in their 50’s and 60’s — my guess is Andy and I are unusual for our age group. Because of individual differences it is an intriguing question.
As a family with the kids we did things together on weekends but otherwise no. We are different.
Marriages where the interests are the same have a really good connection. Not “joined at the hip” connection. One siamese-twin must not be realizing their full potential.
Sorry Rummuser, I hadn’t read your comment before my “joined at the hip” comment.
We’re together most of the time except for our hikes. Same hike but start at opposite ends & meet in the middle. He goes faster than I do so I don’t hike with him & hold him back.
It’s nice to have a balance of individual and shared interests.
I entirely agree
Nothing to do with age. Two people in love, and joined in matrimony, does not make them an entity. They are still two different people. One of the biggest mistakes a man can make is to curb his wife. Cools ardour (the wife’s).
Good for you and Andy if you can run in unison, parallel, together whilst separate.
U
I was so attracted to Andy because he enjoyed working/playing/being involved. That meant I would have the freedom to do the same.
I believe as someone else said, it depends 🙂
Boy, I haven’t used that phase for months…
Although I was married, quite a long time as such, I can’t remember what/how/where on certain matters because NOW it doesn’t matter…
I currently have a couple of totally unrelated activities which means I’m never short of some enjoyment…
I think that’s the main thing — to have plenty of interests of one’s own. It’s fun to share, but it’s those interests that keep us feeling fully alive and engaged in life. And if we’re in a relationship, we have that much more to bring to it.