A few months ago I phoned an acquaintance that I had known years ago to see how she and her husband were doing. She didn’t answer, and I didn’t leave a message. I knew that she has Caller ID and would phone back if she wanted to.
Then last week I ran into her downtown. She was happy to see me and gave me a hug, but she clearly didn’t want to talk long. She’s mostly housebound now. She’s had daily migraines for almost 20 years, and her husband has had a degenerative disease for longer than that. It led to dementia and the past three years, especially, of her caring for him was hard. He went into assisted living a few months ago, and she’s burned out.
I asked her if her email address was the same and she said yes. I told her I love email and she said, “I do too!” She said it probably sounds crazy, but too much talking triggers her migraines. So we’ve corresponded some.
She says she’s an introvert and is making peace with being almost housebound and getting older (she’s about 10 years younger than I, I think). She’s meditating and praying and has joined an internet meditation program which helps.
I mentioned the world of blogging, but she doesn’t seem interested right now. Who knows if that will change in the future after she recovers from the past few years of care giving? But even if she doesn’t, the internet is still a great resource for her.
Bless the internet. Even more so for those of us who don’t go out much and still like to stay connected.
January 17, 2015
Our son-in-law’s Air National Guard unit was deployed recently to Okinawa, Japan for several months. Because of the evolution of the internet, our daughter and their kids are able to stay in closer contact than they would have been able to even ten years ago when he was active duty and stationed in Korea for a year.
Yes, that’s such a blessing. Especially when kids are involved.
As I had mentioned earlier in one of our exchanges, I too prefer to use the internet to communicate rather than face to face verbal exchanges. I do not mind even using the instant messaging systems that are so ubiquitous now including skype. This is primarily because I can do it from the comforts of my surroundings whereas, unless the meeting takes place in my home, I may not find the comfortable seating that I so need and because I cannot stand to do anything for long. I am what Susan Cain calls an ambivert and given comfortable seating I can do very well on face to face situations too but you are right. Bless the internet indeed.
I’m an ambivert too. I took the Myers-Briggs test a few times and I was always on the borderline between extrovert and introvert. Depending on what was going on in my life at the time I would be one or the other.
A lot of my old friends have died or moved away, and handicaps get in the way. Andy and I have parallel play, and we laugh and joke a lot when we’re together. But being able to have plenty of thinking time plus corresponding via the internet is a real joy.
I wish my friends on the other side of the country were more into communicating online. It’s so hard to catch each other for “proper” chats over the phone when busy schedules conflict with any spare time.
But, I too bless the internet. I’ve found some wonderful like-minded souls throughout this wide world that I would never have met otherwise.
In the past I used to wish my faraway friends were letter writers. Like you l’ve found a lot of kindred spirits via the internet. Some of my interests are different from those of my family and “real-life” friends, and now I have more people to share with.
bless her.
i didn’t know that phone talking can trigger migraines. but i do know that lengthy phone conversations do raise one’s blood pressure. and if it’s already too high . . .
well. it’s not a good thing. i have never liked the phone.
and yet … that’s how i made my living for over 20 years. LOLOL! maybe that’s why my bp is so high.
the internet for all its drawbacks is still so wonderful. and what a fantastic home schooling tool!
i’m glad you ran into her. she is no doubt just exhausted for awhile. in every way.
She says talking often stimulates her brain too much. She asked if that sounded crazy. No way. Our bodies are complicated systems, and we react in different ways. I think it’s fascinating, even if sad at times.
We need more than just the internet, but does it ever expand our lives. Especially when we have handicaps of one kind or another.
a lot of my online friends who have a similar health issue as my own – are in contact via f/b, e-lists and personal communications – some of them are house bound so those of us out in the world can help when they have problems
a small group of us who used to ‘chat’ online weekly stopped doing that when (well actually I can’t remember why) and then adopted a keep you in the loop group email. We are in 4 countries, America, Canada Australia and NZ. However, a few of the group never much communicate but we believe they are reading and looking at our craft/art pictures.
I think only a couple of the group have ever met one another, 2 guys, the rest of us grrls…
I’m on some closed groups via f/book, mostly homegrown groups that link me to things happening here.
I keep in touch with many other people via email but also my daily short doings (I don’t include everything, it’s not a good idea) through f/b. I also have family on the f/b and there are certain things I cryptically say but mostly I don’t.
Then there are my favourites listings, and general surfing…
Yes, it’s invaluable. I’m so glad I’ve met you!
I have helped grandchildren with their math homework via Skype or Facetime, as well as been treated to tours of their redecorated rooms and met their friends and/or new guinea pigs. Of course, I see them in person, but these apps allow me more frequent contact. A friend who has moved away corresponds with me quite often via email, and I sometimes have to remind myself that I have never had a face-to-face meeting with one of my coworkers who lives in another state and who I now consider a friend. My former high school classmates are on FB a lot, although it’s not my favorite site due to privacy issues and a whole lot of talk about how we can keep other people from having what we have. It’s so distressing to find that people you always experienced as kind are not so kind to others who do not look, talk or think like themselves! That was a conundrum to me when I was twelve and it still is, in my mid-sixties. Blogs introduce me to people who think like I do as well as some who don’t. I learn tactics others are using to be frugal, preserve the earth’s resources, explore art, find engaging or provocative books or locate interesting TED talks. I do sally out (Can one “sally out” with a cane?) for a monthly book club meeting, meals with family, and that sort of thing, but with the limits a chronic illness puts on me, I’m so grateful for the Internet and the human connections it provides.
The last time we took the train (2013) to see Kaitlin and Torben, a woman was giving her family a tour of the train using Skype. She had an internet connection via her cell phone and could show them everything. (She was pointing the camera of her laptop towards the things she was talking about.) How cool is that?
I love the fact you can help your grandchildren with their homework and share other parts of their lives. Kaitlin and Torben keep connected with us via email and weekly phone calls. It makes a huge difference.
I know what you mean about interacting with people with different values. I still remember an online conversation I was having with a fellow from Indonesia. He wasn’t Muslim, but he had no trouble with anti-blasphemy laws for the sake of social order. I was more than willing to explore the idea of what limits there should be on free speech, but then he said, “Oh, no! Not civil rights again!” So much for an in-depth conversation.
Apparently the word “sally” implies a certain amount of energy. If your spirit is energized then it seems to me sally it is.
I agree.