I laughed when I read this quote. Then I wondered if there was any good advice I could give myself. Mostly I love my life, but, in fact, I could do a few things differently to make it even better. So why not?
Mostly I try not to give advice to other people unless they ask for it, but years ago I knew several people who loved to dispense their wisdom, whether or not the other person wanted to receive it. So I drew this cartoon:
How do you feel about getting unsolicited advice? Do you appreciate it or do you agree with Opal in this Pickles cartoon?
gocomics.com/pickles
Click link for larger image.
July 10, 2015
I live in blissful solitary splendour most of the time and I don’t have anyone to give me advice solicited or otherwise! But I do both to others much to their chagrin.
😀 I suppose your inflictees are much too polite to tell you you need to get another hobby?
When you have an auto-immune disease with “arthritis” in the title, people give you LOTS of unsolicited advice, in the form of sure-fire cures, and it soon gets tiring. They care, and I recognize that, but many people don’t understand that this is a systemic disease that impacts lungs, heart, thyroid and other systems. It kills. It’s not just joints, and, no, you don’t have the same thing “in your little finger.” At first, I just tried to concentrate on the caring behind the suggestions, the heartfelt wish to see me get better. However, I am a smallish person with a soft Southern drawl, and people started cornering me and requiring me to write down their pineapple extract, nine-grapes-soaked-in-gin, fermented-foods, balanced-acid-and-base-diet surefire cures and promise to try them. So, I definitely feel like Opal. These days, I’m (literally) practicing saying, “Thank you for your suggestions, but my doctor and I have carefully researched a plan that best suits my needs.”
Unfortunately they don’t realize how abusive they are being when they try to give advice without knowing all of the facts. Your response is great, and easy to do as a broken record.
I suppose Opal (if she were in a good mood and being super polite) would say, thank you for trying to help. If you write down your suggestions and send them to me I would appreciate it. Making them do the work is another way of getting them to back off.
Jean,
I love your suggestion!
I love advice from people whom I respect, people who have experience and are open-minded.
But most times in my every day life, the people who dole it out to me are people who I would never want to trade places with, so why would I listen?
So for me, my reaction to unsolicited advice solely depends on who’s giving it.
That’s a great point.
I also have a primary illness that at certain periods meant that people would give me a pamplet on a known cure-all – sometimes I would come home with 10 leaflets from one event! Even now someone will say “should you be drinkiing that coffee/other?”
when I added another ailment that does have mainstream help – the advice continued…
but folk got confused!
now I have to contnend with people who know I get the “living support” gov’t allowance and they get ratty with some of high cost spends…”why don’t you eat the $1 loaf of bread? it would save you so much money” – “what you went to Subway, you could have bought a sandwich from home”
as if I did these seemingly stupid things everyday!!!
my niece will say if I’m going to a sporting thing with her and her son – “don’t get a day return ticket, I will bring you back home” – never mind the fact you can’t get return tickets! On that particular set of trips!!!
[AT HOP is considering bringing a better fare structure that might mean cheaper but when is debatable…]
How intrusive! What a pain!
I never give people advice unless they specifically ask for it. Advice may be well-meaning but it’s quite often ill-informed, unhelpful or patronising. That’s generally the case when people offer advice to me. I know I should be more forthright and say “When I want your advice, I’ll ask for it” but I’m usually too polite and just mutter some sort of wishy-washy acknowledgment.
I agree with you. I sometimes slip, but I do try to avoid giving advice to anyone but myself. “…it’s quite often ill-informed, unhelpful or patronising.” Or all of them at once!