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When Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was asked later in life what she thought her greatest accomplishment was, she didn’t mention her time as first lady or the way she had moved the nation by her response to JFK’s death. Instead she said,
I think my biggest achievement is that, after going through a rather difficult time, I consider myself comparatively sane.
That was no mean achievement given that she had post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from JFK’s assassination. She wasn’t thinking about her image, what other people would say about her, this was deeper than that.
It reminds me of one of Rummuser’s favorite quotes by Viktor Frankl, especially the part:
Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered. These sufferings are even the things of which I am most proud, although these are things which cannot inspire envy.
What about you? Are you ever proud of things that other people wouldn’t care about or envy?
July 30, 2015
Sure. None of my relatives or friends, bar two, have given up alcoholic beverages and non-vegetarian food and they could not care less of those achievements of mine. In fact, they think that I am just nuts!
Do you care what they say about you now? What they might say after you die?
“don’t wish me happiness i don’t expect to be happy all the time….it’s gotten beyond that somehow. wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor. i will need them all.” anne morrow lindbergh
i love this. i’ve read all her books. ‘gifts from the sea’ is my favorite.
but i hadn’t recalled this quote until i saw it on ‘island mother’ blog by ronda.
i’d say this quote relates more to my life than any other.
i don’t think it’s anything i’m necessarily proud of. it’s just something that i continue to aspire to. humor more than anything gets me through.
I’m with you there, courage and a sense of humor. When things get scary my mantra is, “I have all the courage I need.” It keeps things in perspective.
Interesting Jackie Kennedy quote. Yes, sanity. Anyone whose nerves have ever been close to a breakdown knows what she means.
In fact, and in answer to your question, I am quietly proud and never mention it to anyone (other than here and this moment) that I have the stamina of an oxen. Once or twice since 2008/9 I thought myself at breaking point. In the same month (and I may have mentioned this before) that my doctor put me on the practice’s suicide register (I had never mentioned anything of the sort and only found out by accident) my son’s father’s wife (she is American, Polyanna reincarnated) told me that if she were me she’d kill herself. She meant well.
Anyway, mothers don’t kill themselves. And if I weren’t my son’s mother then whether I am dead or alive matters zilch. That’s another subject.
So, yes, I am (see above) quietly proud that I am made of steel and that there is little potential to break me and my (by temperament) happy disposition. As long, of course, going back to Jackie Kennedy, as I don’t lose my nerve.
U
Actually Jacqueline seriously thought of killing herself because she felt she was no good for her children. The thing that saved her was a letter from Harold McMillan, the former PM. He wrote to her about soldiers who come back from war, and she realized she wasn’t alone. She wasn’t crazy. This was before the Vietnam War and they finally recognized PTSD.
Your post really has given me something to think about. I do find that I often care about those “little things” that others don’t and don’t get excited about like I can. You know, the small random things planned or unplanned in the day that can gift a lift. I also try to pay it forward to others, things like paying the toll for the car in back of me (did that this past week), sending cards or texts to someone to let them know they’re thought of and missed…
And it’s those little things that give us the most day to day happiness. They’re to be treasured. 🙂
What I’m proudest about (well, not necessarily proud but certainly pleased) is simply that I’ve managed to keep my life on track despite all the daily challenges and setbacks that come my way, and despite plenty of engrained psychological and emotional weaknesses. Other people might envy my resilience but I doubt if they’d envy the obstacles.
Yes, I thought Frankl said it well.
my life has been jumbled from time to time over the years, I was on a similar track to Ursula some decades ago, I don’t know if a doctor registered me on any list…I finally got out of that mess; but it was hard.
at the moment I seem to have a whole lot of well meaning people saying later – when I find out, something VIP – “we didn’t want to worry you with your wrist in plaster etc” to which I have retorted, “it was my wrist not my dam brain or mind”!
Since I wrote an email, similar to a riot-act – there has been a lot interesting stuff coming about, not exactly an apology but near enough… and more communication!!
Near enough is better than nothing, I suppose! Hopefully they learned something from the experience.
Something I’m proud of that other people don’t care about or envy?
I guess I’m proud of the fact that no matter how bleak things are or how depressed I get, I’ve been able to always talk myself off the ledge and realize how fortunate I really am. I’m a woman lucky enough to live in America and not have been born in a country where I have to walk around covered up and viewed as property. I’m able to create my own life, no matter how hard the journey might be.
So, I’d agree with Jackie, although I didn’t go through her severe trauma, I have gone through a lot of crap but at least I’m still sane and have a sense of humor, sarcastic though it might be.
At my funeral they will probably say something about my animals and me having so many and about my Art. I just hope that there is not a minister or someone who rambles on about things that I don’t believe in or brings up an isolated incident and uses it to describe what my whole life was about.
What I really hope is that they will say that they can’t believe how quickly and peacefully I went.
😉
Andy and I don’t plan to have funerals, but I certainly hope I go quickly and peacefully!
I know what you mean about some funerals. I’ve gone to some that had nothing to do with the person at all. I prefer celebration of life memorials, if one has to have anything.