Andy and I laughed when we read this quote the other day:
I have noticed even people who claim everything is predetermined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.
—Stephen Hawking
I know some people who think life just happens, they don’t have much say in the matter. That attitude seems to work for them, but it’s against my nature to be that passive. I’m more with George Clooney:
It is more fun to be the painter than the paint.
Or the person who wrote this:
If you want your story to be magnificent, begin by realizing you are the author, and every day is a new page.
This last one points out how incorrigible I am, that at the age of 76 I still think I’m a creator in my life. Yep, I’m sticking with my Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People. They work for me — they make life an exciting adventure. For me it’s a lot more fun than just being the paint.
January 17, 2016
Years ago, in a friendly discussion, I can remember telling one very negative lady that we were responsible for our own attitudes. She not only disagreed with me, but I could tell that she simply could not conceive that it might be possible.
At least she didn’t get hostile. When I mentioned that idea in a conversation once the woman became furious and was ready to fight. The idea clearly didn’t work for her. 🙂
I definitely agree.
I want to be the painter!
I WILL be the painter!
and other not so nice people better watch out that I don’t splatter them with paint!
LOL!
(I’m in such a better mood after your wise words! xo
to Hell with them! I’m going to be Happy! that’s the BEST revenge.)
xoxoxo
ps- “Following” Montana now. Thank goodness she doesn’t have to worry about being kidnapped. Because of her post, WHEN I win, I’ll have my plan in place to protect my kids. 😉
It doesn’t happy all at once, it takes commitment and practice to develop our skills, but the process can be fun. 🙂
Interesting slip. It should be “It doesn’t happen all at once.” 🙂
and i love what lincoln said that we all know by now…
“folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
i’ve always liked that!
it took me a VERY long time to learn that i don’t have to let toxic people into my life. OR my brain!!! why does it take us so long to learn that!
even if it’s a family member… like my mother in law.
i just wanted so badly to be liked and accepted by her.
and it was never going to happen. i wasted SO MUCH time being miserable trying to get there! silly really! today i could be gracious and not give a crap!
LOLOL!!!!
XOXO i agree with cindi. you’re wise. and we appreciate you!
Amen to that! We can choose our reaction and not give away our personal power just because we don’t like what other people are doing.
My dear Jean, if only it were so easy. Yesterday (Sunday) evening, in a moment of misguided optimism and hope, I, the author of my life as you put it, took an initiative and “painted” and what did I end up with? A lot of paint on my face. So much paint on my face it will take a lot of resolve and tears to wash it off.
Say what you like: Sometimes we are at the mercy of others. And when we are at the mercy of someone else, you – the supposed editor of your life’s story – may take time off and go home early. Yes, I hit a brick wall. Hard.
I am devastated. Wish I could “re-write” that chapter of my life (into the future) but I can’t. Why? Because no man is an island. There are occasions, maybe few but nevertheless, where we are entirely dependent on someone else’s ability and willingness to communicate. And if that will isn’t there you may as well (metaphorically speaking) fill your coat pockets with stones and wade into water.
U
Things don’t always go the way we want them to, and taking time off and going home early is sometimes the best thing to do in the short run. We can’t control other people or external events — we can just choose how we respond. Did you learn anything from this latest experience?
Hard to understand how anyone can believe our lives are predetermined when it’s now common knowledge that our brains are changing all the time in response to experience and what we’re exposed to. There’s still the question of luck though. However much we try to control our lives, we can be sabotaged by sheer bad luck that throws all our careful planning into disarray. Hopefully not too often.
There’s no way of telling if things are predetermined. Maybe some of us are just programmed to think they’re not. It makes me happy to think I’m never stuck, that I have some say over how I respond to situations.
Love the quote by Lincoln, Tammyj! Takes some people an entire lifetime to realize WE create our own lives, just by thinking about it!
It also takes commitment and practice. Poor Lincoln spent a lot of time during the Civil War saving his sanity by reading humor to himself and others.
The free will debate swings between the yes and no depending on context and the affected people involved. It has been going on ever since language was used to communicate and I don’t see it ever ending one way or the other. The so called lucky ones will be for the former and the so called unlucky ones the latter. The real fun is in switching between being the paint and the painter. Having been very closely involved with a painter for near half a century before she died, I am sure that she would agree wherever she is if she reads this.
Not much point in arguing either for or against it. There’s no way to tell. That said, one of my favorite quotes is,
That’s way too simplistic, of course. I know of plenty of people who worked hard, had the right attitude, and still had back luck. There are no guarantees. But I also know about a lot of people who had as many advantages as others, and dismiss the work other people have done by saying, “They were just lucky.”
predetermined at birth, your mother in particular is the “change manager” – but as we enter our own lives – either earlier or later, we can change – and will [should] continue to change – to meet our needs [personally] although sometimes we can’t – various reasons. I’ll end with “it depends” 🙂
There are a lot of things we can’t change, but it’s more fun if we notice what we can do to make ourselves happier and then do them.