An email correspondent recently reminded me of Games People Play and asked if I wanted to play Ain’t It Awful with him. I declined, but it started a good conversation.
Ain’t It Awful, sometimes known as Moan and Groan, lets people bond with one another by sharing their misery and frustration. Here’s one person’s view:
It has been described it this way: “People playing this game get to feel Right and Righteous, a step above those being ‘awfulized’.” “There is the drama and attention that comes to the one who begins the game or who can ‘one-up’ the previous player.”
In short, it is a kind of drug that makes us feel better in the moment but does nothing to make our lives better in the long term.
—Playing “Ain’t It Awful”
I’m afraid I agree with Virginia Satir,
Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
I do my best not to complain and blame other people when I don’t like what is going on. Instead I try to focus on my own response. I can’t always do it, but the results are powerful when I can.
oh I do love virginia’s quote.
thanks for the reminder!
the marine has another way of saying it…
” nobody promised you a rose garden ” by way of his bootcamp DI ! LOL!
my problem is feeling others’ pain and feeling helpless.
I fight that. and I inwardly fight what our so called ‘leaders’ do.
instead of ‘fighting’ I need to do as you say… accept what I cannot change…
change the things I can… and have the wisdom to know the difference.
It saves a lot of wear and tear on the nerves. 🙂
I try not to play the game at all, but am human, and I know I’ve given in a time or two. I think it makes you feel worse, not better!
A small amount isn’t bad, but too much does make us feel worse.
I try not to play these games at all but I am human and sometimes, I suppose that I fail. On the other hand, I know a lot of people who play not only this game but all the other games as well.
The main thing is to recognize when we do it and switch to something more constructive.
I hope I’m not playing the game.
I blog about a lot of stuff going on in my life
and I actually leave a lot of “stuff” out.
I hope it doesn’t come off as complaining and whining
but more as a process of sharing and getting it out of my head.
Hopefully a successful effort to “Let it go” and/or
Many times I’m lucky enough to gain insight as how to handle things from my blogger friends.
Or I at least don’t feel so alone and I gain strength from putting it out there.
I recently found a quote about the fairness of life that I like –
“If you expect the world to be fair to you, because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you, because you didn’t eat him.”
Oddly, that reminded me that you just can’t change some things.
But maybe to avoid lions as much as one can?
LOL!
xoxox
I think your sharing is healthy, and you can tell when it makes you feel more connected, supported and stronger. The idea of free-association journal writing is to get your feelings/thoughts out there so they’re don’t keep going around and around in your head keeping you trapped. It’s even better when you have friends to share it with. That’s different from constantly complaining about other people and the state of the world — making you feel more helpless and your situation seem hopeless.
“Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” Quite so. You can wish as often as you like that life were different, but it’s a waste of time. You have to make the most of what’s in front of you.
Agreed!