People tend to gain in tolerance and grow more generous-spirited as they get older, but on the other hand, we often lose connectedness and some degree of interest in what’s going on, so our generosity is not that expensive to us.
__Edward Hoagland
First of all, I know a lot of people who become even less tolerant as they get older.
I’m making more effort than I used to try to understand people who have different views than I do. I’m getting more curious. I’ve always been interested in history, and the world is going through momentous changes. I want to be aware of what’s going on, so I’m subscribing to a lot of digital newspapers from different regions and with different interests.
I suppose the quote is right in one sense. I’m purposely less emotionally involved because I don’t like a lot of the changes and want to focus on understanding rather than reacting. It’s part of Mary Oliver’s quote, keeping some distance between myself and people who think they have all the answers.
Interesting times!
January 23, 2022
I agree with your feelings and your comment could be mine. I have personally known people, including my husband and dad, that instead of becoming tolerant for others went the opposite way. I have to say they both had/have the same personality, I married my dad is true, and neither were ever very tolerant. I find that personality traits, the good and the bad, get stronger as we age not less. mine has. my patience with others has gone to zero and i like to stay away from people most of the time.
My patience with technological problems has gone way up, but I do try to keep a respectful distance from some people. 🙂
Guilty, party of one! I’m not especially proud of being (a bit) intolerant — but neither do I want to compromise my beliefs, my values to accommodate the few louder voices. Even the grammar I was taught appears to have been tossed out the window. Perhaps I’m jealous — why should I have lived all my life, obeying all the Rules while others are getting a pass.
I need to take a page from you and quit becoming emotionally involved.
It certainly is true the loud and dramatic people seem to get a lot of attention. That’s why I like blogging, we get to choose our friends. 🙂
Understanding rather than reacting has been my policy for some time now. It’s easy to have a knee-jerk reaction to something that turns out to be woefully misinformed and failing to understand someone else’s experience and their view of the world. I hope it’s true that I’m growing more tolerant as I get older.
I’m sure you are. 🙂
interesting! I love Mary Oliver’s poems. she’s one of the few poets I enjoy.
Rumi is another. and I LOVE Haiku! especially Basho’s.
in a nomadic childhood one is Always “the new girl” constantly adjusting to Change. I soon found that my best tool for survival (children can be very cruel) is that of being a chameleon! it was subliminal I’m sure. but I soon discovered I could survive by finding out what they liked and then Being That! not sure how healthy that is. but it held me in pretty good stead during the elementary years especially. and after that it was simply a habit. HOME was where I could be me and thankfully it was not dysfunctional just very regimental! as long as you followed all the rules you were okay.
and finally… at 76 am just NOW realizing Who I TRULY am and what I want and believe! I’m having a grand time now.
I Don’t Like peoples’ Drama. and so I don’t subject myself to it. I just don’t! and I’m much happier.
Thank you for sharing that! Andy and I have an unconventional lifestyle I’m sure, but like you, we love it. 🙂
I find age (In my case)…more cantankerous.
I’d like to understand how that conclusion of more tolerance came about.
I’ve read studies that people in their 70’s tend to be the happiest because they know what they care about and don’t waste time on people and things that they don’t.
My Dave subscribes to one right leaning news source and one left leaning news source so as to determine a realistic point of view. I think of myself as fairly tolerant but could not read what he does. I wonder if part of that is my feeling that I’ve already had most of the impact I am going to have on this world so I can let go now and just be.
Andy and I say, “They wouldn’t listen to us anyway.” I explore what’s going on in the world because of my love of history. These are fascinating times. The main thing is to focus on the things we love.
I think I’ve gotten more tolerant than I used to be. I’m able to let go of the little things where before I wouldn’t do that.
That’s the secret, to let go of the little things, to focus on what we like.
I read this this morn, but on the phone. And still not sure how to reply. I was always pretty tolerant…so can’t say that I am more tolerant now. There are a couple things that sets me off…that I really am trying to work on…I won’t say what they are. I don’t think I have lost a degree of interest in what is going on around me or life…however, retaining what I learn is another matter.
I love that last line. It reminds me of
😀
Very interesting quote to ponder. I like your thoughts on it.
Thanks. 🙂
Then there are aspects that need more thought…and it seems that every month, I need to rejig how I’m living, being and doing.
Little things:
the food chain supply is not good, seems people misunderstood Jacinda’s words on buying everything now that we have both Delta and Omiron in the community.
the modellers and the public health advisors via news
am I truly vulnerable or could I go out – do I have the right kind of mask.
now to the new aspects of my health – yes I can find the newer foods, but actually taste means much.
what should I do about art objects that I appear to have no outlet for, as I still am fearful of just going to the postshop to mail something some place.
was it a good idea when I was feeling down to buy a whole lot of coloured and patterned paper and this morning 250 sheets of better quality paper – and when will both packages arrive (online delivery)
and so on….it goes and goes…
Things are going to be unsettled for quite a while. I figure it fosters creativity…that attitude makes me feel better. 🙂