To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
—Christian D. Larson
I find parts of this inspiring, especially,
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
But being a tragic optimist I also agree that unrelenting positivity can be toxic.
Toxic positivity involves dismissing negative emotions and responding to distress with false reassurances rather than empathy. It comes from feeling uncomfortable with negative emotions. It is often well-intentioned but can cause alienation and a feeling of disconnection.
—Right as Rain, University of Washington Medicine
What do you think?
April 15, 2022
I like the idea of a lot of this, but at the same time feel like some of it is unrealistic. Besides if you smile at everyone you meet, they are going to wonder what you are up to…LOL
A friend of mine once said, “Maybe you do know something, Jean. I always thought you were so happy because you were stupid.” 😀
ooh it feels burdensome to be so good all the time. Tragic whining is also part of peace of mind and feeling of a life fully lived. But I do sing along with Perry and Bliss’ Look on the Sunny Side, and then feel lighter and happier.
I’m afraid poor Andy lives in a no-complaints zone:
On the other hand he can buy all the toys he wants. 😀
YES, you have totally nailed Toxic Positivity!!! We need to be discerning enough to know when to encourage, and when to stop and just empathize. Say “it is what it is, I am so sorry, and I am here for you.”
Thanks. 🙂
From an individual’s physical and mental health standpoint I think there are significant benefits from having a positive attitude, outlook and behaving thusly. Conveying that to others can even be contagious. Smiling at a stranger can even elicit a smile in response as I’ve noted — perhaps brightening their day.
I think Larson’s words are an ideal perspective which perhaps we may strive toward, practicing one or another of the thoughts at various times but maybe not all at once and always — much as we often advocate for peace which never quite seems to be achieved. Embracing a positive outlook doesn’t mean one should or does shut out the reality of some of the negatives in life. Refraining from subjecting others to such homilies can be the better part of wisdom when validation, empathetic commiseration, or just listening and saying nothing to lamenting others may be most meaningful.
I agree. They are worth pondering, and if some resonate use them as a sense of direction for ourselves, but don’t subject other people to preaching.
Too much of a good thing can also be toxic. At times positivity wears thin and the negatives appear. A well balanced life …good and bad, happy and sad….makes you stronger.
I’m a tragic pessimist, so I start with the negatives and figure out how to handle them, use them as challenges.
This is a good list but I find it a bit unrealistic to expect a person to be upbeat and positive all the time. We all have our troubles and we need them to appreciate the better part of life. What is the saying? Too much of a good thing can be bad for you.
I’m guessing few of us have a problem of not enough challenges. I like the saying, few strong people have had an easy past. 🙂
the one you chose is something I can do and do it most of the time. once I had a homeless man at the table where I was eating with 6 homeless men, answer my question, what is one thing you would like to see from people that you do not get? his reply was eye contact, and a smile and speak to us like you speak to others… since that day, I nod, smile and greet all of them.
this is the one I find impossible to do. the others i do most, most of the time.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
I sort of like that one, it’s giving all our fears the middle finger. It’s like Fighting Back With Joy. Hurray for defiance.
Aside from #3, the others leave me acting like Tom in the doctor’s office: “Well, THAT’s not going to happen!” Keeping it real, I’d probably find someone suspect who embodies all those traits.
To dismiss or bottle up negative emotions is doing oneself a disservice. (IMHO) Just last night my son was apologizing for not having called, but his head wasn’t in a good place. I couldn’t help but stress, “Feel free to say whatever’s on your heart. Even if you just want to scream. I’m your safe place.”
One size doesn’t fit all. For me it’s not about dismissing emotions, it’s about understanding them and using their energy wisely. The first item in my The Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People is
I find that empowering and it makes me happy. But that’s just me.
Too much wisdom in one place gives me a headache. LOL
😀
having just posted about “when creativity is difficult” – it bought up a huge range of mixed emotions – along with “oh putting it all out there, and I really mean ALL” not a piecemeal
i didn’t feel at all positive once the positive and healing replies started to come…I felt I had betrayed either “you or me”
I was chatting online with someone tonight about Abbeyfield and there is another “hesitancy” on “will I or not” go there if I’m accepted… is it the right place!
but for now I have to be positive and keep challenging me to basically screw down what art supplies and also what art I will do when I’m living at Abbeyfield….
having the doubts is not good for me, right now 🙂
I’ll survive, I just turned 71 today and I know I’ve got this far…I can carry on.
Why betrayed? It is what it is, the interesting thing is how we deal with it. Happy birthday! Deciding about Abbeyfield is a hard one. It’s a major life change. Whatever you decide I hope it goes well.
Thank you for sharing this.