cheerfulmonk.com

I received an email from Kaitlin Friday:

Girls got “Dogs of the Day” reward at the vets! Unfortunately for them the trophies were collar flowers instead of steaks or tuna.

How cool is that? Kaitlin says the pups love going to the vet (the Concord Animal Hospital ) because they always go together, even into the examination room, and they get treats at the end.

They were there because Tempi was having trouble with her eye, and when the vet looked into her eyes she said,

She’s smart! She’s more like a human than a dog.

Yes, we have noticed that.

Then the vet looked into Zoe’s eyes and said

She’s smart too. You must have trouble with them.

Well, yes, they do get into trouble sometimes. But they’re more than worth it because of all the joy they bring.

February 11, 2024

Andy fixed the lamp!

February 10. 2025

It’s a TikTok video of an otter giving a fisherman its rock to play with. Click on the picture.

How cute is that?

February 9, 2025

If you search for breathing exercises for relaxation you will find a lot of suggestions. But the one I now do automatically when I start to feel tense and nervous, is to blow out all of the air from my lungs, then relax and let my lungs refill without any effort on my part. As this article says, it’s the exhale that is linked to our parasympathetic nervous system, the one which causes our bodies to relax.

Inhaling deeply may not always calm you down. Taking a deep breath in is actually linked to the sympathetic nervous system, which controls the fight-or-flight response. But exhaling is linked to the parasympathetic nervous system, which influences our body’s ability to relax and calm down.

Taking too many deep breaths too quickly can actually cause you to hyperventilate. Hyperventilation decreases the amount of oxygen-rich blood that flows to your brain.

When we feel anxious or under stress, it’s easier to breathe too much and end up hyperventilating — even if we’re trying to do the opposite.

Before you take a big, deep breath, try a thorough exhale instead. Push all the air out of your lungs, then simply let your lungs do their work inhaling air.

Next, try spending a little bit longer exhaling than you do inhaling. For example, try inhaling for four seconds, then exhale for six. Try doing this for two to five minutes.

This technique can be done in any position that’s comfortable for you, including standing, sitting, or lying down.
—8 Breathing Exercises to Try When You Feel Anxious

The neat thing is if you do this consistently when you start to tense up, it eventually becomes a habit and will happen automatically. That is one powerful habit!

February 8, 2025

Do something everyday for no other reason than you would rather not do it, so that when the hour of dire need draws nigh, it may find you not unnerved and untrained to stand the test.
—William James

No, I don’t do that every day, I don’t have to. Opportunities to practice come by themselves often enough. As Alex Mathers says,

Happy people expect problems.

The main thing is to use them for skill development when they do come.

A couple have come to me recently and I managed to tackle one of them yesterday. I tuned into parasympathetic breathing to relax my body and clear my head and then thought like a physicist. I broke the problem down into manageable parts, started with the easiest one and worked from there. I didn’t hesitate to phone for help when I needed it, and didn’t argue when once I was told incorrect information. I just told the fellow what the website was saying and he was convinced. I focused on understanding what was happening, going over it many times so it felt familiar. I may have to do it again in the future, and now it should be easy.

I ended up feeling reasonably chuffed about the whole experience. Which is good, because the more that happens the less likely I am to waste time and energy worrying and fussing about problems. Just tackle them and keep learning and growing.

February 7, 2025

Even in her senior years Tempi is a star. (Of advertising by Kaitlin’s house cleaners.)

February 6, 2025

What’s the most important minute in life? I think it’s the next one. There is nothing we can do about the past, and we have limited influence over the hours and days to come. But the next minute—-minute after minute after minute—-is always full of possibility. Are there opportunities to be on your own side, bring caring to your pain, accept yourself, and enjoy what you can? Is there something you could heal, something you could learn? Minute by minute, step by step, strength after strength, you can always grow more of the good inside yourself. For your own sake, and the sake of others as well.
–Rick Hanson, Resilient, How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness

Pulling the weeds, nurturing the flowers, delighting in watching things grow.

Hurray for learning to live our values. It’s empowering.

February 5, 2025

There is a dynamic quality about enthusiasm which nothing can resist. You can see it in the street orator, whose whole heart is in his argument, swaying a crowd. You can feel it in the work of any artist—painter, writer, musician, or whatever he be—if he has put himself into the thing he has wrought in, felt it enough, suffered it enough. And the beginning of the year is a good time, it seems to me, to set about enkindling our enthusiasm afresh. For life is a dead thing without it. Make it woodwork, if our tastes lie in that direction; make it stamp collecting; make it anything in the wide world so long as it is alive and vital.
—Charles Hayward, a cabinet maker and editor of The Woodworker magazine

What makes you feel alive and vital?

Lamp Update: Andy took it up to the land yesterday — he has more tools up there. It still needs more work and I’ll tell you more when he’s don with it.

February 4, 2025

I couldn’t help laughing and thinking of Tennyson’s Ulysses Friday evening as we tried to figure out why our old, precious lamp stopped working. The cleaning lady had been here Thursday, so we suspected she had moved it to clean and a wire in the cord broke. Andy took the top off the base and pole to look at it, and it took an embarrassingly long time for the two of us to reattach it.

Made weak by time and fate.

No doubt about it, that was us. But that doesn’t stop us from pushing right back like Camus. Having a sense of humor can be powerful too.

February 3, 2025

Happy Groundhog Day!

I remember years ago, before Google, when I looked outside and mentioned what the groundhog legend would predict. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that only Punxsutawney Phil could make that prediction. Say what? We used to do it when we were kids, and we had never heard of Phil. But there was no sense arguing, even though my friend was clearly wrong.

I had forgotten about the incident until I read these words in a 2016 Smithsonian article,

As the sun rose on Groundhog Day today, the region’s top furry forecasters all agreed that an early spring is on the horizon.

Yes! Notice it says nothing about Phil, an individual rodent, it says

the region’s top furry forecasters

It’s about the sun and shadows, not one rodent.

Why February 2? Because it’s halfway between the winter solstice and spring equinox, and food was scarce then during the Iron Age. People wanted to know when they would have relief from winter. One story was their creator would gather firewood on that day if it was going to be a long winter, so she would make the day sunny and bright for the occasion. If the day was dreary the creator wouldn’t bother, she would stay sleeping. Relief would be coming soon.

Again, hurray for the internet!

Febrary 2, 2025