cheerfulmonk.com

But not good about sharing.

July 9, 2025

We often hear that woman are better at multitasking than men are. That certainly has never been true for me, so I asked both Perplexity and ChatGPT about it. They both say it is a myth. Studies have shown that there is no significant sex difference when tested in controlled settings.

They both say that the human mind isn’t designed for multitasking. What really happens is the mind rapidly switches from one task to another. That is less efficient and more error-prone than doing one task after another (when that is possible). Multitasking can even weaken our ability to focus and make decisions if it happens for too long.

What do you think? Do you think you are good at multitasking? Do you like to do it? Both Andy and I do much better if we do one thing at a time! In fact, things go quickly to pot if we don’t do that. Of course, our ages may have something to do with it. 😀

(If you would like to read more see Multitasking doesn’t work—here’s what does.)

July 8, 2025

we are heartsick over what is going on in the world?

Perplexity said:

That’s a deeply thoughtful and important question. Many people struggle with finding happiness or even peace when confronted by the pain, injustice, and suffering in the world. Here are some compassionate, practical, and philosophical perspectives that may help:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s natural—and even healthy—to feel heartsick about the world’s problems. This empathy is a sign of your humanity. Suppressing or denying these feelings often makes things worse. Allow yourself to grieve, to be angry, or to feel sorrow. These emotions are valid.

2. Limit Overexposure

While it’s important to stay informed, constant exposure to negative news can overwhelm your emotional reserves. Consider setting boundaries on news consumption—choose specific times to check updates, and balance negative stories with positive or solution-focused news.

3. Take Meaningful Action

Even small actions can help counter feelings of helplessness. Volunteer, donate, support causes, or simply show kindness in your daily life. Action, no matter how modest, can transform despair into purpose.

4. Cultivate Gratitude and Joy

It’s not selfish to seek joy or appreciate beauty, even in dark times. In fact, cultivating gratitude and noticing small moments of beauty or kindness can replenish your spirit and make you more resilient. Joy does not ignore suffering; it coexists with it.

5. Connect with Others

Share your feelings with trusted friends, family, or community groups. You’re not alone in your concern. Connection can provide comfort, perspective, and even inspire collective action.

6. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Mindfulness practices—such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindful walks—can help ground you in the present and reduce anxiety. Be gentle with yourself; it’s okay to feel sad, and it’s also okay to seek moments of happiness.

7. Remember: Happiness Is Not All-Or-Nothing

Happiness doesn’t mean ignoring the world’s pain. It’s about holding space for both sorrow and joy. You can care deeply about the world and still allow yourself to laugh, love, and find meaning.

8. Find Inspiration in Others

Many people throughout history have faced immense suffering and still found ways to create, love, and hope. Their stories can remind us that resilience and happiness are possible, even in difficult times.

In summary:

Being heartsick over the world’s troubles is a sign of your compassion. Balancing this with self-care, meaningful action, and moments of joy is not only possible—it’s necessary for sustaining hope and making a positive difference.

If you’d like, I can suggest specific practices, books, or resources for further support.

ChatGPT said:

That’s a deeply human question—and an important one. When we’re heartsick over the state of the world, happiness can feel not only difficult but almost inappropriate, like a betrayal of our empathy. But here’s the truth: we can still experience joy without denying suffering. In fact, we need both.

Here are some thoughts on how:

1. Redefine Happiness

Rather than seeing happiness as a constant feeling of lightness or pleasure, we can redefine it as:

• Moments of connection
• Inner alignment with values
• A deep sense of meaning or purpose

You don’t need to be cheerful to feel fulfilled. Sometimes, just knowing you’re living in truth, caring for others, or contributing to healing—even in small ways—can offer a quiet, grounded form of joy.

2. Make Room for Both Grief and Joy

Grief and joy aren’t opposites—they can coexist. Allow yourself to mourn what’s wrong in the world while still embracing beauty and goodness when it appears. A flower blooming, a stranger’s kindness, a shared laugh—all of these are life-affirming, even when things are hard.

3. Take Compassionate Action

Hopelessness often grows when we feel powerless. Even small acts—volunteering, donating, creating, educating, voting—can transform despair into purpose. You can’t fix the world alone, but you can help someone, somewhere. And that matters.

4. Protect Your Mental Space

Being informed is important, but constant exposure to trauma and negativity (especially via social media or the news) can overwhelm your nervous system. It’s okay to take breaks. Tending to your own wellbeing is not selfish—it’s necessary to stay resilient.

5. Anchor Yourself in Love

Stay close to what matters: your loved ones, your beliefs, your art, your faith, nature. Let those be your compass when the world feels chaotic. They remind you what’s still good, what’s still worth protecting.

“It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful.” — David Steindl-Rast

Even in sorrow, gratitude can crack the door open to peace.

Would you like help processing something in particular that’s weighing on you? Sometimes naming the pain helps it lose some of its grip.

July 7, 2025

In yesterday’s post I said would take up Perplexity’s offer and see what they say about becoming happier. This is what it said:

How Can People Be Happier?

Happiness is a universal desire, but achieving it can feel elusive. While definitions of happiness vary—ranging from fleeting pleasure to a deep sense of well-being—research and philosophy offer practical ways to cultivate a happier, more fulfilling life.

1. Build Strong Relationships

– Meaningful connections with friends, family, and community are consistently linked to greater happiness.
– Invest time in nurturing relationships and making new connections.

2. Practice Gratitude

– Regularly acknowledging what you’re thankful for can shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant.
– Keep a gratitude journal or simply take a moment each day to reflect on positive experiences.

3. Take Care of Your Body

– Physical health and mental well-being are deeply connected.
– Prioritize sleep, exercise, and a balanced diet to boost your mood and energy.

4. Find Purpose and Meaning

– Engage in activities that align with your values and give you a sense of purpose.
– This could be through work, volunteering, creative pursuits, or helping others.

5. Embrace Mindfulness

– Mindfulness—paying attention to the present moment without judgment—can reduce stress and increase contentment.
– Try meditation, deep breathing, or simply being present during daily activities.

6. Set Realistic Goals

– Working toward achievable goals provides a sense of progress and satisfaction.
– Break big ambitions into smaller, manageable steps.

7. Accept and Manage Emotions

– Happiness isn’t about suppressing negative emotions, but understanding and managing them.
– The Stoics, for example, valued *joy* as a rational, healthy emotion and cautioned against excessive exuberance, emphasizing balance and self-control.

8. Give Back

– Helping others, whether through volunteering or small acts of kindness, is strongly associated with increased happiness.

9. Limit Comparisons

– Comparing yourself to others, especially on social media, can undermine happiness.
– Focus on your own journey and celebrate your progress.

10. Adapt to Change

– Life’s challenges are inevitable. Cultivating resilience and flexibility can help you bounce back and maintain well-being.

“Happiness is a complex and multifaceted emotional state characterized by feelings of contentment, joy, and overall well-being. It is often described as a positive mental or emotional experience that arises when our needs, desires, and values are in harmony with our circumstances and actions.”

Ultimately, happiness is personal. Experiment with these strategies, notice what works for you, and remember: the pursuit of happiness is a journey, not a destination.

I had checked to see the difference between Perplexity and ChatGPT, which I had never used, and they said ChatGPT was better for writing and creative things, even though it made factual mistakes at times. So I asked the same question there. This is ChatGPT’s answer:

7 Practical Ways to Be Happier

Happiness isn’t something you simply find — it’s something you consistently create, choose, and practice. Here are seven powerful, science-backed strategies to help you feel more joy, fulfillment, and peace in everyday life.

1. Shift Focus to Gratitude

What you focus on grows.

Keep a gratitude journal: write down 3 things you’re thankful for each day.

Train your brain to notice what’s working, not just what’s missing.

Gratitude improves resilience, even during hard times.

2. Move Your Body

Exercise is like a happiness prescription with no side effects.

Just 20–30 minutes of movement (walking, dancing, stretching) boosts your mood.

Increases dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins — the feel-good chemicals.

3. Nurture Relationships

Happiness grows through connection.

Spend time with people who make you feel heard and valued.

Express appreciation — it deepens bonds and lifts both people.

Even small acts of kindness can lift your mood.

4. Pursue Meaning, Not Just Pleasure

Lasting happiness = Purpose + Presence.

Ask yourself what gives your life meaning and align your actions with your values.

Activities like volunteering, creating, or mentoring offer deep fulfillment.

5. Limit Comparison & Screen Time

Comparison is the thief of joy — and social media fuels it.

Take regular breaks from scrolling.

Follow accounts that inspire rather than drain you.

Focus more on your real life than your digital one.

6. Practice Presence & Mindfulness

The present moment is where peace lives.

Use meditation, deep breathing, or simple awareness to ground yourself.

Try techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method or mindful eating.

7. Grow, Learn, Create

Humans are wired for growth.

Learn a new skill, pick up a hobby, or pursue a creative outlet.

Focus on progress, not perfection — it’s deeply rewarding.

Final Thought

You can’t control everything, but you can shape how you live, relate, and think. Happiness isn’t about avoiding pain — it’s about embracing the full experience of life and building joy from the inside out.

I must say, I think ChatGPT’s version has more spark and is motivating, so I’ll try it again. Most advice says the two programs are complementary, it depends on what you are trying to do. I started using Perplexity because I wanted to check the facts about things I was reading, and I really like it. But having tried ChatGPT for its ideas about happiness, I’ll start using that program a lot more too.

July 6, 2025

I occasionally read statements like “If you go searching for happiness you will never find it.” I disagree, it depends on how you do it. Perplexity’s view:

What Is Happiness?

Happiness is a complex and multifaceted emotional state characterized by feelings of contentment, joy, and overall well-being. It is often described as a positive mental or emotional experience that reflects how satisfied or fulfilled a person feels with their life or specific moments.

Key Aspects of Happiness

Emotional Component
Happiness involves experiencing positive emotions such as joy, gratitude, love, and satisfaction.

Cognitive Component
It includes a sense of life satisfaction — how people evaluate their lives as a whole or in particular domains like relationships, work, or health.

Subjective Nature
Happiness is subjective; what makes one person happy may differ greatly from another. It depends on individual values, goals, and circumstances.

Temporary vs. Lasting

Momentary happiness comes from short-term pleasures or experiences (e.g., enjoying a good meal or a fun event).

Long-term happiness or well-being is more about sustained life satisfaction and meaning.

Perspectives on Happiness

Philosophical: Many philosophies, from Aristotle’s concept of eudaimonia (flourishing through virtue) to modern positive psychology, explore happiness as a key goal of human life.

Psychological: Positive psychology studies happiness scientifically, focusing on what promotes well-being, such as relationships, purpose, and positive habits.

Cultural: Different cultures have varied interpretations of happiness, with some emphasizing individual achievement and others focusing on community and harmony.

Why Is Happiness Important?

Happiness is linked to better health, stronger relationships, increased productivity, and greater resilience. Pursuing happiness can motivate people to improve their lives and contribute positively to society.

If you want, I can also provide tips on how to cultivate happiness or explore scientific research on the topic!

I completely agree that happiness is important, and that it’s not selfish. Perplexity says it can “contribute positively to society.” I still remember reading Hugh Prather years ago in How to Live in This World and Still be Happy. He said for him personally, that was the only way he knew to be kind. That’s the way it works for me. I’ve noticed lately that I’m getting more and more patient and understanding with people even when things are going wrong. I notice it and it makes me happy when I see it. I’m going to do my best to keep that going.

Anyway, I will take Perplexity up on how to cultivate happiness and let you know what it says.

July 5, 2025

So, it’s the 249th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Being a contemplative person I’ve been thinking about happiness. The book The Pursuit of Happiness goes into great details about what the Founding Fathers meant by it, and what kind of government they were trying to create. And this is what the AI program Perplexity says:

When the Founding Fathers referred to “happiness”—especially in the phrase “the pursuit of happiness” in the Declaration of Independence—they did not mean the pursuit of pleasure or fleeting emotional satisfaction, as is often assumed today. Instead, they drew from classical Greek, Roman, and Enlightenment philosophy, which defined happiness as the pursuit and practice of virtue, self-mastery, and character improvement.

Key aspects of what they meant by “happiness” include:

• Virtue over Pleasure: Happiness was seen as being good, not merely feeling good. The Founders believed true happiness resulted from living a virtuous life—practicing qualities such as temperance, prudence, courage, justice, order, and sincerity.

• Self-Mastery and Reason: Achieving happiness required daily self-discipline, self-examination, and the use of reason to moderate passions and emotions. This was a lifelong process of self-improvement and moral development.

• Harmony with Natural Law: The Founders, influenced by thinkers like Blackstone, saw happiness as living in harmony with the “law of nature and of nature’s God.” This meant fulfilling one’s potential and duties as a rational and moral being.

• A Right to Practice Happiness: The “pursuit of happiness” was understood not just as the right to seek happiness, but as the right to practice and experience it through virtuous living. It was considered an unalienable right, meaning everyone was entitled to actually be happy by living well, not just to try to be happy.

• Public and Private Good: The pursuit of happiness was both a private right and a public duty. The Founders believed that a society of virtuous individuals would lead to public happiness and good governance.

I have a lot of Stoic in me — I’ve been interested in personal growth since I was a kid. But I also have an inner puppy that values exuberance and joy. The Stoics liked joy, as long as it was “rational, moderate, and rooted in virtue.” But they thought exuberance was way too emotional and thus bad. Not me. I think emotions are great sources of energy and motivation and we learn a lot by understanding them. No, if anything I look for ways to increase my exuberance and enthusiasm. That’s not always easy considering what’s going on in the world right now, but for me it’s a lot better than getting depressed and shutting down. I figure there is always something positive, even though small, that we can do if we look for it.

Anyway, whatever your definition of happiness, and whether or not you live in the U.S., I hope you have a happy day!

July 4, 2025

July 3, 2024

gocomics.com

Tempi is a book lover, so Kaitlin and Torben try to keep them out of her reach. They don’t always succeed.

The following is one of their favorite photos, about a book Tempi did not love.

She was highly indignant and wrote about it in Bad Present (in 2016). She wrote

…what kind of a Grandmother would give a book like this to my parents?! And let my Mom read it (or try to) right in front of me?

Did she conveniently forget the damage she had done to Torben’s mother’s living room when they had visited earlier in the year?

Probably. At the end of the post she’s wondering if the book has some new ideas for her to try.

July 2, 2025

gocomics.com

July 1, 2025

Toto is more energetic than Belkin and Bat…he’s still a kitten and not a cat.

It’s fun to watch him grow.

June 30, 2025