The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.
—Albert Einstein
As usual, this post is presented as food for thought. The deeper we go into personal transformation, the more unique our experiences will be. We each have to become an expert on our own life, so I believe the best thing we can do for one another is to try to see our own experience clearly and share what we’ve learned.
In Staying In Tune we talked about how we know when we’re on the right path. I wrote then, “During my adult life I’ve been mostly able to tell. When I’m on the right track something resonates deep in my being. It feels right. When I’m on the wrong track it doesn’t feel right and I have to try something different.” I realized at the time that was just the beginning of the conversation…my answer wasn’t much help for people who couldn’t already tune in to that feeling.
Love and Curiosity
I developed that deep connection with myself by being loving and curious. It seems to me the curiosity comes naturally because when you love someone/something you want to know more about them/it. You’re willing to devote your time. You’re doing it for its own sake, not for some external reward. Einstein directed his attention to the physical world, and in personal transformation we explore the inner world.
Free-Association Journal Writing
The technique I’ve used most is free-association journal writing. I love that technique because all you need is paper and a pencil or pen. And once you get started you can easily integrate it into the day. When something comes up you can take a brief writing break and reconnect with yourself. My journal is my best friend, always there when I need it, day or night. I get a thrill every time I pass by the spiral notebook section in stores. My face lights up the way it does when I see any dear friend.
Focusing
I’ve also had fun learning Psychosynthesis, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the Enneagram and Neuro-linguistic programming. But if I were to recommend one technique for people who want to develop that feeling of resonance as quickly as possible, it would be Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing. Gendlin developed the technique after trying to understand what made a successful therapist. He and his group listened to tapes of sessions from both successful and unsuccessful courses of therapy. The researchers discovered they could predict the ultimate results in the first two sessions. And it wasn’t anything the therapists were doing, it was what the clients did. “At some point in the session the client would slow down their talk, become less articulate, and begin to grope for words to describe something they were feeling in the moment.”
So Gendlin developed Focusing as a way to teach anyone how to do this for themselves. To see what the technique is like look at the comments on Gendlin’s book. In particular, scroll down to Kye Nelson’s review for a taste of how it works in practice. If the method appeals to you, I would recommend Ann Weiser Cornell’s The Power of Focusing. Cornell includes examples and suggestions based on her 15 years of teaching the technique. It’s a reasonably short, well-written guide for connecting with the deepest parts of yourself.
What About You?
What techniques work for you? Please share your experience in the comments section.
Related post: Scott Ginsberg’s Study ordinary things intently
Thanks to everyone who commented this past week: Albert, Ellen, Tracey, Shirley, Truthteller and bikhikebabe.
I noticed few days ago that I am living life that is not the way I used to be before.
Before, I like to ‘destroy’ and ‘create’ things using Lego yet now, my curiosity have been reduced to nothingness—as if my life have no meaning for me.
How cold my life is—and I truly hope and should change my life for a better tomorrow.
Cheers,
Abdul Rahman
Good luck, Abdul, on getting more joy in your life. It sounds as if you’re depressed. Please don’t hesitate to get some help if it will make the process go faster.
Hi Jean,
for me it’s writing in my journal too! It helps me to get my thoughts straight, to stop the thinking in circles in my head (uhm.. I do hope this is correct English..). To find that peace of mind..
I really notice it when I haven’t written for a couple of days, and it’s incredible how much it helps me to just sit down and write for a few minutes!
Other than that, really taking the time to enjoy nature, e.g. by taking a long walk or taking photographs (a perfect way to focus on the beauty of things) helps me to reconnect with my inner voice too!
Writing on my blog, about the things that really inspire me (and with that, hopefully my readers too), has been a great journey for me too. Over the last months, I’ve been getting nearer and nearer to the things that are really important to me.
Because, if Ï’m really honest, I still find it very hard to connect with my deepest feelings, to know my deepest passions. This Focusing technique sounds really interesting, Jean, thanks!!
@Abdul – Take care okay! This indeed sounds like depression, which is something you definitely should take serious. Small steps…
Ellen,
🙂 It sounds as if we have a lot in common. The two main reasons I blog are (1) to clarify and learn to articulate what I believe, and (2) to connect with kindred spirits. Thank you so much for responding.
Yes, Divine Curiosity is essential. And if we can fan that flame into a burning desire for God, we can totally transform ourselves, as have many previous saints of all traditions.
Greetings,
I learned of your site from the link-love at Albert’s site, Urban Monk. If he has a high opinion of your site, it must be worthwhile. Best of luck. Please visit our Blog, the Atma Jyoti Blog, which is a meditation and spiritual life resource. I hope you will find it interesting and helpful.
ReddyK
Heh, I like journalling too. I use it slightly differently, though. Whenever I meditate, I try to think of and heal certain issues in my life, and memories always pop up of similar events, I try to write them down. If I heal those memories, it’s like cutting the root of the tree – the older memories don’t bother me anymore.
e.g. someone calls me a name, makes me feel stupid. If I find the first instance I felt stupid, then all the newer instances I felt stupid (and probably in the future), it won’t bother me anymore.
Good fun, interesting to recall things from even my preteen years.
Cheers,
Albert | UrbanMonk.Net
Modern personal development, entwined with ancient spirituality.
PS Thanks for the high regard, Reddy K, if you read this!
ReddyK and Albert,
Thank you both for coming by. I did check out your site, ReddyK, and will be visiting it again. We look at the world differently, but that’s the great thing about blogging, we get a chance to understand one another. I was touched by the story about the cobra, and the cartoon about the guru made me smile.
I agree with you about Albert’s site…it’s one of my favorites. And thanks for the link, Albert. 🙂
Albert,
I agree with you about going back to early memories and dealing with them. That reminds me of a neuro-linguistic programming technique called Rewriting Personal History. It’s not about changing your memory of what happened, it’s about changing the emotions connected with it. It sounds as if you’re doing basically the same thing, only through writing about it. I tend to do the same thing, too. When something pushes my buttons, I figure it’s a good chance to clear out old emotional patterns from the past. It’s powerful Good for you!
Focusing: Our house is REALLY cold. I’m freezing/ put on more warm clothes. Roast/ take them off. Freeze/ on again. Get the picture. When I get up in the AM I’m nude–(heavy down comforter), I check out my computer. I get carried away and 45 min.+ later I leave & THEN I find that I was freezing & didn’t know it. I was focused on other things than myself. I want to read Gendlin’s book on focusing. (Didn’t people used to set themselves on fire; didn’t scream because they were focusing. I won’t be doing that!)
I used to do journaling, but at the end I put much about my complain, my feeling and not really learn from what happens.
Then I moved to blogging, in which I’m much more focused on what I learned from the experience, in which I need to share to my readers, hence, I dig deeper, I reflect more, and find the good things that happens, the reasons to smile in spite of circumstances =).
Regards,
Robert
Robert,
Thanks for coming by and sharing. If journaling doesn’t work for you, you’re wise to try something else. I agree that sharing through blogs can be life-transforming. I’m so grateful that we can do it.
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