One Size Doesn’t Fit All

The Daily Puppy

All men should strive
to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
—James Thurber

I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.
—Michel de Montaigne

Do either of those quotes resonate with you? They do with me because I was lucky enough to be depressed when I was a child…I was bored out of my mind and decided there must be a better way to live. I didn’t know what my new life would look like, but I was committed to finding it.

Among other things I read a lot of self-improvement books, attended some personal growth workshops and tested the various suggestions. Some of the material was helpful, but most of it was too “success”-oriented for me. In one workshop we were supposed to envision our goals…for instance writing a book…and imagine what it would be like when the goal was achieved…the sense of accomplishment, the feel of the completed book in our hands, the financial and social rewards, etc. I essentially flunked the workshop because I didn’t want those external rewards. I wanted to enjoy writing the book. So what if I finished one, big deal. Life wouldn’t end there…I would simply start on the next goal, so why not figure out how to enjoy the process? The workshop leader was visibly upset that I didn’t “get it”, but it was well worth the money to find that out about myself.

I’ve been thinking of that a lot the past few weeks as I tackle learning about CSS, HTML and WordPress. I’ve been spending long hours on it and…for the most part… having a good time. I refuse to get frustrated when things go wrong because I’m doing it for the sake of learning, not for the end result. When I find myself pushing to get things to work I consciously relax and take one step at a time. This method seems to be the opposite of what our fast-paced culture values, but it doesn’t matter. One size doesn’t fit all, and I believe the best gift we can give ourselves and others is to find what works for us and to have the courage to pursue it.

What about you? What lights your fire? Are you motivated more by goals than by the process itself? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.