As I wrote in What I Learned From Being Downsized, I started studying stress management when my husband and I were both threatened with downsizing years ago. It was scary, but also one of the happiest times of my life because we stayed positive, kept our sense of humor, and treated the experience as a shared adventure.
Life is a daring adventure or nothing.
—Helen Keller
Life doesn’t always go smoothly, and it’s a lot more fun when we think of it as an adventure rather than complaining because things aren’t going our way.
So what makes life an adventure? I would say three things:
- Luck,
- Attitude/Drive, and
- Skill Development.
Luck
Millions of children die each year because of malnutrition and lack of health care. Even Helen Keller, born blind and deaf, had loving parents who nurtured her and gave her a good education. As Warren Buffett points out, he could never have achieved his success if he had been born in poverty in Bangladesh. For him the number 1 lesson in life is to be grateful…don’t take credit for the things that have been given to us, just use those gifts wisely. Keep aware of the resources available to us.
Attitude/Drive
I’m not religious, but when life gets bumpy for me I resort to my favorite prayer:
Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity. I sure hope you know what you’re doing.
It reminds me that I don’t have to like what’s going on. I just have to learn and grow from it. Because we’re not talking about passive acceptance here. We’re talking about being centered, creative and constructive.
And, of course, life sometimes goes too smoothly…we start feeling bored and unfulfilled. Then we need to find some new challenges for ourselves, not for the sake of some future goal, but to feel more alive in the present:
That’s exactly what the white-water rafters are doing in the picture.
Skill Development
The point isn’t to protect ourselves from life, it’s to become stronger to let more life in.
—Merle Shain
The most stress-hardy, resilient people aren’t the ones completely sheltered from life, they’re the ones who face manageable stresses regularly. Stress management is a learned skill. It’s like walking on a spiral staircase: the more healthy choices we make, the higher up we go…we increase our ability to handle even greater challenges. The more unhealthy choices (i.e., withdrawing from life, blaming other people, overeating, taking drugs, drinking to excess) we make, the further down we go and the weaker we become.
I, for one, am committed to continually honing my skills. It’s a small price to pay for living life as an adventure.
What’s This About a “Shared” Adventure?
I don’t know about you, but life for me would be pointless if I couldn’t share it with other people. That doesn’t mean being with them all the time…I spend most of my time working/playing alone. But in the back of my mind I’m always thinking of ways to share what I do with others. As I’ve written many times before, my basic philosophy is :
Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens, keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.
Which is just another way of saying
Live life as a shared adventure.
So, that’s what my life is about. How would you describe yours? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
Thanks to Bengt, bikehikebabe, Robert Henru and Shamelle for commenting on last week’s post.
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We did rafting too (& kayaking) in white water. Some of it was terrifying for me, but not for my two sons & husband. I did thousands of miles bicycling. These made my otherwise mundane life, cooking & cleaning, more exciting. For some people the contrast might make housework boring. It didn’t work that way for me.
A great post Jean, I like all the three points, but one thing that inspired me the most is the 2nd point. Especially the statement that our goal is not for the sake of achieving it or not, but simply to be more alive. That’s what hope for, that’s why each of us need to have hope!
Jean, why don’t you try writing a book? You have lots of insights, maybe you can also talk more about your basic philosophy.
Cheers,
Robert
Robert A. Henrus last blog post..If only your life is a WordPress project
Jean’s Websites (StressToPower.com & cheerfulmonk.com) ARE a book. (That’s a metaphor.) Each post is a chapter.
bikehikebabe,
It sounds as if you had/have a great life…the right balance between routine and excitement. Mundane life is not to be sneered at, it’s to be enjoyed. 🙂
And thanks for pointing out my blogs are books…books of essays about my approach to life.
Robert,
Thanks for the kind words. 🙂
bikehikebabe is right, I blather about my philosophy all the time in my posts. I like the interactive nature of blogging. I’m trying to clarify my own thoughts when I write and also to present food for thought. It would be nice if at least one or two readers liked an idea so much they integrate it into their lives. Or if they decided they really disagree and what I’ve written helps them clarify their own thoughts.
I’ll talk more about why I write in tomorrow’s post at Cheerful Monk.
All great points, Jeanne, but for me the strongest one is that it’s a SHARED adventure. I like that.
Thanks for chipping in this month!
Robert Hruzeks last blog post..Motorcycle Mechanic on Wheels
My shared adventure has been with my wife of forty years. Neither of us fell in love in the traditional definition of the word, but grew into our shared life with all its ups and downs. I married my friend’s sister who I had known for eight years before we decided that a marriage may just work for us. She was there for me during some of the most stressful times as I was there for her. With the grace of God, we are today relatively stress free but my wife is paying the price for having gone through one particular patch of high stress and has been semi invalid for the past seven years. My purpose in life today is to be her care giver and I do this happily and with a great deal of enthusiasm. Her memory is not quite what it should be and it is up to me to relive with her many of the good times that we have had which makes her happy and comfortable.
We have to play with the hand that is dealt to us. How we do it is up to us. When to fold, when to raise and when to call a bluff are all the adventures that we go through. All our wisdom is by hindsight as at the point of taking a decision or acting, we have no control over the outcome. Accepting the outcome, whatever it is, is the way to live a stress free life and this wisdom also is by hindsight.
rummusers last blog post..Success and Failure.
Hi Jean
Your favourite prayer made me chuckle, then frown. It sounds both as very trusting as well as resignation to the ‘bump’. (Not sure if this comes out the way I mean it – blame it on my double Dutch English ;-), but it’s meant positive.)
Life is bumpy, life is sometimes giving over to trust and resignation to the facts at the same time.
Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
“Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.”
Wonderful!
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Robert,
Yes, sharing. And that’s what I love about blogging. I’m looking forward to seeing what next month’s topic is.
rummuser,
Your comment touched my heart. Bless you.
About hindsight…I agree, wisdom only comes by reflecting on our experiences and learning from them. Someone once said we never have enough information when we make the most important decisions in our lives. There are no guarantees, except if we never take risks we’ll be shutting ourselves off from life. And if things turn out “badly”, there’s no sense in making our situation worse by upsetting ourselves. Learning how to do that, and staying loving and compassionate, is wisdom that most people never learn. You have my utmost respect.
Karin,
The prayer both accepts that (1) life won’t always go the way we want it to and (2) that’s it’s our responsibility to use the bumps as opportunities to learn and grow. You’re right that there is the trust that how we respond will make a difference.
Jackie,
Thanks!
Thank you all for taking the time to comment.
Jean, Thank you.
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You are right, life is an adventure; sometimes a difficult and frightening one; always challenging. But what would an adventure be without dangerous crossings to navigate. It’s how we gain wisdom and strength.
Good stuff,
Cheers,
John
John Rocheleau – Zen-Momentss last blog post..3 Reasons and 7 Ways to Live in Creative Joy
John,
Amen to that. Thanks. 🙂
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Another beautiful and uplifting post! Jean
I love life’s an adventure! And centered, creative and constructive ……
My favorite is living to love and loving to live.
Diane,
Glad you liked the post! I like your phrase, too. 🙂