Last week I mentioned the snow we had in the middle of this month. It reminded me of one of my favorite commercials involving Clydsedale horses. It shows some young whippersnappers harassing some older folks. The older folks may not have as much exuberant energy, but they’re smart enough to teach the pesky youngsters a lesson.
I’m not a beer drinker, but if I were I would certainly think of Budweiser. Do you have any favorite commercials or jokes?
Use Google. Trunk Monkey commercials. I couldn’t get the site to work after copying it here.
There were commercials that I hadn’t seen. Some rather wild & crazy violent ones-not recommended for this post.
I love the woman bribing the police officer.
bikehikebabe,
I just looked at a compilation of them. I agree, the one about the monkey trying to bribe the police officer and being hauled off to jail was funny. Also the one where the father let the girl’s boyfriend drive his car. It soon became clear why when the monkey started acting like a chaperone. 😉
My favourite joke (which I just read on Twitter).
First Person: Well, I just got the bad news, the big C.
Second Person: Oh, cancer?
First Person: No, dyslexia.
December 8
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor.
December 14
Snow lovely snow! 8″ last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for one hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity’s back on, but had another 14″ of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he’s too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23
Only 2″ of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she’s lying.
December 24
6″. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the man who drives that snowplow I’ll drag him through the snow by his nose and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25
Merry -bleeping- Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s a fricking idiot. If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up where the sun don’t shine. The wife went home to her mother. 9″ predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
That was all about snow. This one is my all time favourite. I hope that there are no judges among your readers.
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true. “I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed.
The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days.”
Snow? Very funny, rummuser. You who live in a hot part of India. Next one good too.
Evan,
Oops. I’m afraid I can’t figure it out and need some explanation.
rummuser,
Thanks for the laughs. 🙂
We don’t get that much snow here, which is probably why we still love it.
bikehikebabe, we have parts of India, where it snows in the winter and us plainsfolk go there to enjoy some frolicking. Simla and Gulmarg are hot favourites. Most of the Himalayan South is in India, including the most favoured approach to Mount Everest.
I have been snowed under a few times too. There was one particularly brutal winter up in Aberdeen in Scotland which is something that I will never ever forget. Another in Zurich in Switzerland which was milder but life came to a standstill for 48 hours and I had to make all kinds of things to get my flights back to India changed. I do have first hand experience of snow.
I have never been hauled up for drunken driving, but I have first hand experience of witnessing a drunk judge!
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