Earl’s response in the above cartoon reminds me of a Marlo Thomas quote:
Some kind of help is the kind of help that helping’s all about. Some kind of help is the kind of help we can all do without.
Clearly Earl’s is the kind we can all do without, unlike Arlo’s in the following cartoon (click on cartoon for larger version):
What about you? Have you ever had memorable help from someone? What kind was it?
It was Good Help from a psychiatrist.
“Don’t expect anything from anybody.”
Expecting people to act the way you want only makes you unhappy. (Because they won’t do that.) Notice no “quote marks” there. The psychiatrist said very little.
That will be $300.
bikehikebabe,
I like Marshall Rosenberg’s distinction between a request and a demand. It doesn’t matter how nicely you ask for something, it’s still a demand if you get upset when the other person says no. It’s very similar to what your psychiatrist said.
Best advice I ever had?
On birth of first son: ” I have some advice for you.” My thought at that moment ? Oh no! Not another one. Advice continues,” Don’t listen to any one else’s.”
I thought I had learned never to expect anything but I still have hopes about things and people. Because of that I’m constantly disappointed and so are others.
.-= Magpie11´s last blog ..An Unfortunate Gift… =-.
Yes, my friend Nat gave this advise to me when he found out how I came to need replacement of my hip joints. “From now on, find them on the ground floor.”
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..The MBA. =-.
Whilst helping others freely with whatever is needed (time, a shoulder, money), I myself am rubbish at asking for help – of any kind. A misguided mixture of pride and independence. I have offended people by rejecting their offers of help. And that is perfectly understandable since most of us have the need “to be needed”. Which, drawn to its logical conclusion, makes Mother Theresa not quite the selfless person she was made out to be.
And yes, I have accepted help, but only when my life was in such dire straits that I really had no other choice. Neither did I have any shame.
U
.-= Ursula´s last blog ..Deja vue =-.
It’s good to receive too, as well as give. I’m never ashamed to ask for help if I require it and if it’s available. What I hate is the kind of ‘take over’ help which robs us of our self respect. The best help you can give someone is to help them to do things for themselves.
.-= gaelikaa´s last blog ..How Did This Happen? =-.
Magpie11,
That was nice of your friend.
I still sometimes get disappointed because I think something is going to be finished and instead it goes on and on. For instance my daughter and son-in-law are trying to get their house remodeled. The original start date was supposed to be May 3. Then they thought the worst of the red tape would be over today, but no. In the fullness of time, with any luck.
Rummuser,
Sounds like great advice to me. 🙂
Ursula,
My husband and I never hesitate to ask one another for help when we need it. I also don’t hesitate to ask for help at the gym when I have trouble adjusting a weight machine because someone has tightened the adjustment too tightly. I enjoy helping people and find that most people are happy to help too.
gaelikaa,
I agree! I don’t like it when someone tries to take over my life, and I try not to be an enabler when someone doesn’t ever try to help herself/himself.
i can’t fully answer this right now…as I have had to ‘ask’ for a lot of help in the last few weeks to point where it’s kind of overwhelming me…
.-= Cathy in NZ´s last blog ..going up and sometimes dropping down the pit – update =-.
Cathy,
I sure hope some of it is the kind that helping’s all about. We’re rooting for you.