This cartoon tickled me, but I don’t really believe it. For one thing, sometimes patience represents hope rather than despair…say when we grow a garden or raise a child. Some of the most worthwhile things in life can’t be rushed, they take time.
And there are no guarantees. Sometimes things don’t go the way we hope. After we’ve done all we can and the situation is out of our hands, we just have to let it go…either temporarily or forever. And focus on keeping it from poisoning the rest of our lives.
My daughter is in that boat right now. She and my son-in-law are trying to remodel their house, a major undertaking that was supposed to start on May 3rd and hasn’t started yet. They were finally through most of the hurdles (financing and building permits) they thought, but the changes in the plans someone in the local authority had told them to make turned out to be illegal. So they’re back to Square One on the building permit. This is two months after moving into their rental house, which means more money going out the door with nothing to show for it.
My daughter is an effective, can-do person, so this is especially hard for her. But because she is so effective she will wind up handling it well. She has plenty of other things in her life to focus on until it’s time to deal with this situation again. Yes, it’s hard, but stress-hardiness techniques do work.
What about you? Have you ever been in a situation like this?
I think the closest came back in 1980 when I was getting out of the Navy. We were trying to sell our house in Idaho by ourselves — it was a Veterans Administration assumable loan — and time was getting short. I already had accepted my job down here in Arkansas, so we didn’t have much wiggle room. We were just on the verge of having to list it with a real estate company when we got a buyer. Just a couple of days before we had to leave, all papers were signed, and we left with our equity in the form of forty $100 bills — we had only been in the house for 3 years.
Right this minute I understand headstone’s “REST IN PEACE”. I’m looking forward.
Mike,
I’m glad that worked out for you. Owning a house can be a great experience but they can be stressful, too. Especially when buying and selling them.
bikehikebabe,
You’re in good company. As I recall Rummuser’s afternoon nap is one of the highlights of his day. (Correct me if I misunderstood, Rummuser.) 🙂
I think when I feel despairing I’m more impatient.
I think it helps me to be resilient when I understand that there is stuff that I can do that makes a difference. This may be another way of saying ‘hope’ or be slightly different, I’m not sure.
One of the highlights? It is THE highlight.
Jean, who would know better than you, such a loyal reader of whatever I write, that my life has been one of being patient for events to unfold, rather than doing something. From 1999, I am like a boat drifting rudderless down a slow moving and sluggish river. I think that I should be sainted for that way of life.
Evan,
For me that’s the trick, to turn my attention to the areas where I can do something constructive. It keeps me from feeling helpless, from getting mired down in just one part of my life.
Rummuser,
Ah, yes, sainthood. Here in the West it’s hard to get canonized. As I recall it wouldn’t happen until after you had died and your advocates would have to prove that you were responsible for at least three miracles. I would go for being a hero instead. You certainly have rescued your family from some hard decisions. I’m sure you’re greatly appreciated.
I sometimes have very little patience because the rest of my world is rushing by and I cannot catch up with it.
I sometimes, made rash decisions when I should wait awhiles and let it gel together.
In this last week, I was put in to position by a well-meaning other (I think it was that!) who believed it was time for me to give up a committee position I have held for approx 5yrs based on my current health issues…I basically agreed and then I spent a couple of days thinking about things
I thought, gosh these current health issues are no different from the past health issues (well they are slightly different but certainly not anything different, hope you get the drift)
Then I looked at the committee/people involved and realised that I was the only member with 2 jobs (other than President that always has more on their plate) and now have to decided, sent resignation to resign from the lesser job!
If I find that the other job is tooooo much, I will consider giving that one up as well 🙂
but not today – need to sit with ‘patience’ and work through stuff 🙂
Good one, Jean.
Since, like a young child or an animal, I tend to live in the moment I rarely, possibly never, get impatient. Which doesn’t mean that I don’t see the tidal wave coming when it’s approaching. My approach to difficulties in life amounts to a character defect: I just shrug my shoulders and keep going.
Your daughter’s can-do approach is commendable. I myself can and do too. Alas, her impatience, a very male trait, will get her precisely nowhere. Some things can’t be hastened. Some things are worth waiting for. Some things just won’t happen. Tell her from me to savour the dust whilst waiting for planning permission.
U
PS Bike Hike Babe – don’t even think about it!
Cathy,
I agree. If you have to make a choice, choose to keep the one you like the most. Don’t let someone else make the decision for you. Good for you!
Ursula,
Don’t worry about my daughter…she has a great sense of humor and knows how to shift her attention. And the building permit came through Friday afternoon. So now, in the fullness of time, presumably the next baby step will be taken.
She’s not holding her breath. The company she and Torben are working with say they might be able to make up the time, but at this point she’s not counting on anything.