(Pluggers are simple unassuming folk who just plug along in life.)
Do you know anyone (besides me) who reads the obituaries regularly? It’s a good reminder that life is short, nothing lasts forever, make the best use of my time while I’m here.
A standard values-clarification exercise is to write our own obituary, to think about what we want other people to say about us after we die. That has never worked for me. I spent a lot of time in my early years trying to get my ego out of the way… learning to stop worrying about what other people thought about me and instead to live my values for their own sake. I don’t plan to have an obituary and my husband feels the same way.
What do you think? Do you care about what other people say about you after your life is over?
Me. And I always do the maths (subtracting birth from death) to figure out how old they were. I didn’t realise ’til a few years ago that this was unusual.
Do I care what people say about me once I’m dead? No. Would I like to have contributed to people’s lives? Yes.
I don’t care what people say after I’m gone.
I never read obits. That’s about the only worthwhile thing in our local newspaper, so we stopped subscribing a couple of years ago. The obits are usually online, but we forget to check.
Evan,
My husband and I do the math too. And I do it whenever someone writes about a famous person and gives the date of birth and date of death.
Mike,
Our local paper is almost useless too. It’s $76 a year for Sunday and Tuesday-Friday. We still subscribe because every once in a while it has a piece of information we’re interested in.
Yes, our paper is useless. I read the headlines, the funnies, the new Ann Landers & the Obits. I notice that lots of times, children & grandchildren have died before the parent.
I’m in Sweden now & this keyboard has a lot of weird signs. If I make a mistake, the computer tells me in Swedish which is also useless.
It doesn’t bother me in the least. I won’t be here!
bikehikebabe,
Yes, we read those plus we do the sudoku. Again, every once in a while it has some local news I’m interested in, but it sure is expensive for what we get!
gaelikaa,
Agreed!
i don’t look at Obits – I don’t know what anyone would necessarily say on my whole life! Though right now a lot of people either think I’m mad learning about things dead/gone or are chuffed with my achievement…
I’ve not been keeping up with even my free local rag! (newspaper) and I certainly having subscribed or even bought one of the national newspapers…I can read alot on-line anyway.
bikehikebabe, now I understand why no funnies are arriving…hope you learn more Swedish whilst typing us messages 🙂 and you’ve having a happy holiday
I am with Evan. I would like to make a positive contribution until I am dead, then it is time to be forgotten.
Jean, I love obituaries – particularly the ones in The Times. I think of them as condensed biography, an hommage to a life – now done, dusted and not necessarily forgotten in a long time. I am nothing but grateful that people, their paths, personalities, fates, spheres of life I’d otherwise never had known about are drawn to my attention that way.
All of those who say it does NOT matter to them what others say about them after their death are far too self-centered. It is not a question about whether YOU care or not. It’s about those who survive you, those who love you who might be stung by others’ “well” intentioned remarks and refashioning of old rumours and half substantiated truths. I do not believe in white washing anyone just because they are dead; but I have seen tremendous damage done – to the living – by those dancing on someone’s grave. Well, no doubt, that was all as clear as mud when the soil is mainly clay.
U
PS It’s good to know that BHB is digging snow in Sweden (talk about a change of scenery). The silence in my inbox is ear drum shattering.
My father reads the obituaries without fail. He in fact had subscribed to a news paper from where he used to live before he moved in with me just for the obituaries.
Ursula, I don’t care what they say about me now, why would I after I am gone? If that is being self centered, I must be the World’s heavy weight champion!