Ursula recently commented that her son had been going door-to-door trying to collect money for Oxfam. I automatically assumed he was volunteering his time because he believed in the organization. Duh! (Hits head with palm of hand.) When Ursula pointed out he was getting paid to do it, it became clear I’m not a very fast learner.
Years ago, when I first went back to work after being a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, I still had a volunteer mentality. So when I got phone calls asking for donations for a good cause I thought, sure. The person phoning was volunteering his time and now that I was working I would contribute money. It felt right.
Unfortunately I started getting more and more calls…if I didn’t start saying no I would quickly go into debt. On top of that it finally dawned on me the people phoning weren’t volunteers, they were telemarketers. I had managed to get myself put on a suckers’ list.
So I adopted the attitude of the gal in the above cartoon…I told the next telemarketer that I never give to organizations that pester me over the phone. And miracles of miracles..the phone calls, from supposedly diverse organizations…immediately stopped.
I still give to some worthy causes, but never over the phone. What about you? Have you ever had an experience like that?
We did the same thing. Over time, the phone calls dwindled away. However, we still would get occasional telemarketing calls and, more and more often, political robo-calls.
A few months ago, since our new phones were working out so well, we got rid of our land-line phone.
A secondary benefit was that all telemarketing calls and political calls stopped cold. 😉
Interesting, Jean: Why would the method of collecting for a good cause or the fact that the “collector” isn’t volunteering his/her time make any difference to whether you give or not? We don’t expect public toilets to be cleaned for nothing but the greater good, do we?
Not sure which strand of your post to follow. Naturally we can’t give to everyone even if our hearts were as big, wide, blue and deep as the Pacific. As you say, if we did even you’d be broke. Then one might like to consider why on a death notice it says: No flowers; donations to … insert charity. If the body died of cancer the charity will usually be related; if of natural causes (and I use the word ‘natural’ advisedly) one might be invited to keep dogs off the street. Which in itself warrants a discussion how one can square one’s conscience to give to a donkey rescue shelter instead of a home for abandoned children.
Back to the main body of your argument: My mother used to take us to church on Christmas Eve and as sure as the amen followed the epistle she was incensed – every year – that the church had the nerve to come round with their collection box “sullying Jesus and all he stands for with the profanity of earthly matters like fodder for the church”. Her logic which I approve of and makes my mother endearing does not escape me. I dare say she probably would have preferred to give an apple, a nut, a tangerine, a can of dog food or a bag of her biscuits, a bale of hay, something tangible. Anyway, getting emotionally carried away and off the subject.
Economies rely on women of a certain class and age volunteering their time for nothing. Doesn’t make the person who literally can’t “afford” to do so less compassionate.
As part of one my recent research projects I approached random strangers on the street, at railway stations, in parks, at Starbucks, on a rainy day, on a sunny day, in the dark, asking for varying amounts of money. Not for children in Biafra (anyone remember those?) but for the person standing in front of them (that’s me). My findings to be published any time soon. I myself am awestruck – not least by my inventiveness; and no, Jean, it wasn’t so much bullshitting as looking at mankind’s Petri dish through the magnifying glass. Investigative journalism – sometimes it’d be easier to clean toilets, for nothing. However, my findings leave hope for those amongst us who are not complete arseholes.
U
Mike,
A lot of our friends are giving up their land lines. I hadn’t thought of the fringe benefit. I don’t even have a cell phone yet, so it will be a while. Andy still uses our rotary wall phone. 🙂
Ursula,
When I give money I prefer that most of it go for the cause, not for the fund raising. And I prefer not to pay for pestering other people in their homes. There are gazillions of good causes, so it’s nice to have a few ways of culling some out.
I rely on email and mobile phone (cell phone to those in foreign countries). Not being pestered is nice. My parents have a landline and have had the same number for about 50 years so they get LOTS of calls (not to mention the majority of their snail mail).
I don’t give this way myself. I do agree with Ursula that it takes money to let people know that you exist and to ask them to donate.
This spins off into all sorts of interesting discussions I think. For instance some friends of mine returned to Australia after living in Delhi – mostly in lower class suburbs but also working with slum dwellers. They said that Australians were far more controlled by money than the people they knew in India (including the slum dwellers).
I’ve lost touch with so many people I’ve known for 50 years because they have cell phones & have no number in the phone book.
So Evan, one reason you don’t get phone calls is because most of your friends can’t call you.
“…mobile phone (cell phone to those in foreign countries).” Did you mean the opposite? I thought in the U.S. they are Cell phones. In France & Sweden (we visited this summer) they were Mobile. “I keep my Mobile with me.” Pronounced mobiiiiile, not mobul.
In NZ you buy a cellphone and have a mobile number!
Well that’s what I think I have always done…but maybe because I’m not in the business of changing phones every time a new fancy comes out…might have it all wrong 🙂
back to charity phone callers:
I don’t think we have all that many, although there is often advertising on the TV that if you dial a certain number either on your cell or landline you can have xyz $ deducted from your phone account.
We though, get a lot of phone selling – especially now at Xmas. I think I have had 3 this week – all from the same person who believes that Mr ** lives here and will want xyz. I can’t even remember what the foreign voice was selling. I just got annoyed that he kept phone Mr ** (no Mr here!).
sometimes the phone selling is indirect – they offer you a months trial at the local Gym or something else similar…
Evan,
The problem is the phone calls were all from organizations I had already given to. And the more I gave the more I was pestered. It works the same via snail mail…”Thank you for your gift. Now will you give us 50% more this time for this new crisis.” I give larger checks to fewer organizations now and contribute once a year so I can keep track and toss the other appeals straight to the waste basket. I value my own time too. 🙂
Cathy,
Yes, I’m no expert on cell phones either. At least you have one. 🙂
Here in the U.S. have a “do not call” list that we can sign up for. So the only telemarketing calls we get are from businesses/organizations we have bought from/given to. That doesn’t protect us from robocalls from politicians…we use our answering machine to screen calls during the political season.
Hi BHB, It’s usually me who initiates contact with my friends anyway, so not such a problem.
If I give, I want to make sure that it is an organization that actually gives. Rumors are that some organizations manage to give about 10 cents out of every dollar donated.
As far as the cold callers, I have become a bit sympathetic to them, even if I don’t normally give this way. I figure that most of them are doing it for money, but also that most of them are poor and living on the edge. Thus, I try to make the “no” as polite as possible.
Looney,
I use Charity Navigator to check. It helps a lot.
Looney,
I forgot to mention I agree with you about the people making phone calls. I always try to be friendly and polite even though I say no. I am glad we have that do-not-call list though.
Looney, couldn’t agree more: It stinks to high heaven the way charities’ money, given in good faith by the uneducated public, makes such low percentage to its intended target. It’s why I give directly. To a person.
As Jean mentioned my son walks – as his current “work experience” – the door steps. Let’s leave aside – from a mother’s point of view (mine) – that it’s freezing. The company he works for services many different charities. So he had Oxfam and WATER for two weeks; then two days of cows – believe it was a charity being into green and eco friendly LONG term. No takers as to the latter. Now he has been put onto Macmillan (Cancer) and what do you know and in my Son’s own words: “Halleluja, at last something people can relate to.” My backyard and all that.
And yes, as you and Jean say, there is a polite, a kind way of saying no. No need to shoot the messenger.
U